My boyfriend makes excuses for everything, if you are in such a situation this article is for you.
I have a friend whose boyfriend walked out of the relationship because she couldn’t buy him a professional camera.
He needed that camera for his photography business and wanted my friend to buy it for him.
The camera was costly, and she couldn’t afford it.
Before she could say jack, the guy announced their breakup and left her heartbroken,
Some guys make excuses for everything,
If you find out he’s cheating, He will blame you for not giving him the love and attention he needed,
Which made him cheat.
Nothing is ever his fault neither does he admit he’s wrong; he’s always trying to avoid blame and often pushes it on you.
You would find this article helpful if you are in such a situation and wondering how to handle it.
My Boyfriend Makes Excuses For Everything: Why He Acts That Way
1. He is Trying To Avoid Responsibility
Your boyfriend could be trying to avoid responsibility because he’s afraid of criticism.
Many people don’t like to be criticized or made accountable for their actions.
If you notice your boyfriend is afraid of confrontation and often tries to avoid talking about his mistakes,
That’s a sign he’s scared of criticism.
A guy trying to avoid responsibility would often make you take the blame for his actions.
For instance, you could ask him, “Why don’t you always have money” and he would reply, “I spent it on you”.
2. He Has Pride
Pride often makes people opinionated and never accept their mistakes.
If your boyfriend thinks he’s always right and doesn’t want to accept your opinion, that’s pride in front of you.
Pride won’t allow him to accept his faults, which would make him constantly give excuses for his actions.
It even becomes worse if he believes he’s more intelligent than you.
He would always have a way of defending his actions and try to intimidate you when you asked questions.
3. He Grew Up In An Abusive Family
Guys who grew up in an abusive environment are fond of giving excuses for their actions,
Due to fear of confrontation and low self-esteem,
Such guys always look for who would take the fall for their mistakes.
If your boyfriend grew up in an abusive family and always had sad tales about his childhood, that’s likely the cause.
Guys who grew up in abusive families often want people to think highly of them due to their low self-esteem.
Such guys can give excuses for everything to appear as if they are perfect.
My Boyfriend Makes Excuses For Everything: How To Handle The Situation
4. Create Clear Boundaries
A guy who is fond of giving excuses for everything would often want to make you feel guilty for most of his actions,
That’s why you must set clear boundaries and ensure you don’t feel guilty when you are not the one at fault.
You should talk with your boyfriend and tell him about his attitude and why he needs to work on it.
Tell him you’ve observed he’s always making excuses for everything.
But the problem with telling him is that he might still make an excuse for making excuses.
That’s why I emphasize creating clear boundaries and working on your self-esteem,
To avoid feeling guilty when he tries to blame you for his mistakes.
5. You can Accept Him As He Is
A guy who gives excuses for everything would probably not change if he won’t seek professional help.
If you’ve discussed it with him and he remains that way,
You can choose to accept him and take his excuses habit as his weakness.
If he’s friendly and loving and he cares about you very much,
But he’s always giving excuses when confronted,
You classify it as his weakness and try to cope with it.
It’s not a license to tolerate his attitude if it’s toxic for you and hurts your self-esteem.
6. Make Him Sign Up For Therapy
If your boyfriend is always giving excuses for everything,
There’s a high chance he developed the attitude a long time ago.
Quitting old and negative habits is very difficult and often requires the help of a trained professional like a therapist.
A therapist can help him find out the root cause of his behavior and also help deal with the habit.
For instance, haven’t you noticed that when you confront your boyfriend with his mistakes,
The first thing he does is give an excuse for his shortcomings?
That’s the power of a habit he has developed over time.
No amount of I would change; please forgive me would improve things.
When something becomes a habit, he needs the help of a professional therapist.
Make him sign up for therapy if he’s not willing to do the work required to break free from that harmful habit; it’s time for you to leave.
A relationship is about being the best you can be for the one you love.
If he’s unwilling to do something about his habit that hurts you and affects the relationship, it’s time to walk away.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Do You Do When Your Boyfriend Makes Excuses?
Hold him accountable: most people make excuses to avoid responsibility.
It gives them the freedom to justify their negative attitude.
That’s why you shouldn’t ignore when your boyfriend makes excuses or allow him to get away with his mistakes.
Please hold him accountable for his actions.
Whether he’s irresponsible with money or likes to procrastinate on important things,
Refuse to accept his excuses and point out where he needs to take responsibility for his actions.
Why Does My Boyfriend Blame Me For Everything And Make Excuses For All His Wrong Doings?
Below are some of the reasons why your boyfriend is always blaming you for everything:
He’s trying to diminish your self-esteem: the more he blames you for everything,
The more you start thinking you are the problem.
It’s a psychological trick to manipulate someone into thinking they are the problem.
It makes you more conscious to know if you are the problem of the relationship,
He could also be doing it to make you question your ability to do things right.
He’s trying to avoid criticism: most guys, especially those who grew up in abusive homes, don’t want to be criticized.
They want to appear perfect when they have apparent shortcomings.
Blaming you for everything helps him avoid criticism and makes him appear like a saint.
He has an ego issue: a guy who has a big ego would hardly admit he’s wrong or take responsibility for his actions.
He would blame you for it. If he hits you, he will say you made him angry,
If you catch him cheating, he will say, “You caused it”
That’s because he has a big ego, and he’s never wrong in his own eyes.