Rose and her boyfriend attended the same high school.
At that time, they weren’t friends but knew each other.
After high school, they met and exchanged contacts and started talking on the phone.
A few months later, he proposed to her, and she said yes.
Six months into the relationship, rose started observing a trend and the trend was her boyfriend.
Was fond of asking her for money with the promise that he would pay it back,
But he never did.
He came up with different excuses to collect money from her.
If the story above sounds like you, then you are not alone.
Many women are in a relationship where the guy collects all the money they make with the promise to pay it back.
You might ask why he’s behaving this way, especially if he has a job but keeps asking you for money.
If you are ready to find out, let’s dive in.
My Boyfriend Keeps Asking Me For Money: Why He Acts That Way
1. He Has No Shame
It takes a guy with no shame to keep asking his girlfriend for money.
A man is supposed to provide for his woman and not the other way around.
I am not saying you can’t help him if he encounters financial challenges
But it shouldn’t be a routine where he asks you for money to handle his living expenses.
Men generally have an ego and want to be the provider in romantic relationships.
But if your boyfriend wants you to provide for him instead, he has no self-esteem or shame.
Men with their ego intact feel uncomfortable when their woman has to provide for them,
But guys who have lost their ego see nothing wrong in you being the provider.
If your boyfriend has never cared for himself with his money and has been dependent on people all his life,
He’s likely to keep asking you for money.
2. You Keep Giving Him
Who doesn’t like free money?
If you keep giving him money whenever he asks for it, guess what?
He’s going to keep asking.
It’s human psychology; if someone keeps giving you something when you ask for it, your brain gets accustomed to it.
You even start to act like it’s your right it’s called entitlement mentality.
If you can’t say NO to your boyfriend whenever he asks you for money,
That’s not love; that’s proof you have issues with self-esteem.
In a healthy relationship, you should be able to tell your boyfriend NO without feeling guilty.
I believe you resent him for always taking money from you,
It means the relationship is fasting becoming toxic if you don’t address the issue.
3. He’s Just Using You
A guy who genuinely loves you would be concerned about your finances.
You wouldn’t want the woman you love to go broke or suffer financial difficulty because of you.
If your boyfriend truly loves you and is thinking of a future with you,
Your finances would be of importance to him.
But if he’s using you, he wouldn’t care about your finances or whether you are going broke because of his actions.
He would find any opportunity to keep collecting from you even if you are running into debt.
If he gets angry when you tell him you don’t have money or he encourages you to borrow and give him,
That’s proof he’s just using you and have no long-term plans with you.
4. He’s Suffering From An Addiction
If he keeps asking for money and you don’t know what he’s doing with it,
Then it’s likely he’s suffering from a drug or gambling addiction.
Keeping up with drugs and gambling requires a lot of money, which could be why he needs money often.
You must find out what he does with the money, although he might not tell you, try and observe.
If he’s suffering from an addiction, he needs professional help because no amount you give him would be enough.
He would always keep coming back with different excuses to get money from you.
5. He’s Greedy
A greedy guy sees a relationship as a payday, especially when you have a job that brings in a good income.
He would see you as someone he should keep collecting from,
Forgetting that a relationship is a two-way street and you are to support each in the best way possible.
If your boyfriend is greedy, he would likely stay with you because of the money.
And have another girl he’s in a serious relationship with and possibly spend your money on her.
My Boyfriend Keeps Asking Me For Money: How To Handle The Situation
6. Say NO Without Feeling Guilty
The truth is your boyfriend would keep asking for money if you don’t put a stop to it.
You have to learn to say NO to him without feeling guilty.
You work hard for your money and are not an ATM that a guy would keep collecting from in the name of love.
You deserve to spend your money the way you want,
And you can support him occasionally if the need arises,
But he’s not your responsibility.
Giving your boyfriend money at your detriment is not love,
It shows you have some personal insecurity that you have to handle.
Maybe you are afraid he will leave, or he will get angry and resent you if you don’t give him the money,
What happens the day you don’t have it?
Of course, he would be angry, call you all sorts of names,
And might even stop responding to your calls or texts, is that love or exploitation?
Tell him “NO” and if he chooses to walk away or resent you for it,
That’s enough to show you he’s using you, and you should leave the relationship ASAP.
If you can’t say NO to him, sign up for therapy to help you build your self-esteem.
It’s better to be single than be with a guy using you for financial gain.
7. Have An Honest Conversation With Him
Maybe he’s unaware his attitude hurts you; you should have an honest conversation with him.
Many women shy away from financial conversations in a relationship,
They act as if money is not essential but end up resenting their man for it.
Try not to be like that; talk to him and let him know his incessant money request drains you financially.
Tell him you can’t continue to give him money, especially when he never pays it back.
His response would go a long way to help you decide the action to take.
If he gets angry and tries to emotionally blackmail you by using words such as
“I am not the one draining you.”
Or “just a little financial favor I asked, and you are making a big deal out of it.”
You should know it’s time to exit because he doesn’t care about you.
8. Take Safety Measures If You Decide To Quit
A guy that keeps asking you for money wouldn’t want to let you go because he’s gaining financially from you.
He can do anything to make you stay, including violence if you decide to leave.
That’s where it gets scary and why you must be careful if you decide to quit the relationship.
If you decide to leave, he could try manipulative techniques to keep you in the relationship.
But if you insist on leaving, he can resort to violence.
Ensure you consider your safety before you quit.
You can go live with a friend for a while and obey the no-contact rule to help you move on from the relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Do You Do When Your Boyfriend Asks You For Money?
There are a few things you can do, and they are listed below:
Ask why he needs the money: it’s essential you know why he keeps asking you for money.
He should be able to tell you what he wants to do with it.
Then decide if it’s worth your hard-earned money or not.
Most women wouldn’t want to ask such questions because they feel the guy would get offended.
But it’s your money; you should know why he needs it.
Help him if he has a valid reason: it’s possible things are not working for him, and he’s in a bad financial situation, which might not be his fault.
If he has a valid reason that you can verify to be accurate, you can decide to help him.
You should discuss the terms of the money with him.
Is it free, or you’re expecting him to pay back at a specific time?
If he’s used to collecting money from you with the promise to pay it back,
But he doesn’t, you shouldn’t give him any money even if he has a valid reason.
Tell him it’s not easy for you: it’s not always easy giving your hard-earned money to someone consistently.
You need the money too because you work hard for it.
Tell him it’s not convenient for you, and you’re struggling financially by giving him money.
A man who loves you wouldn’t want you in a financial mess.
How Do You Say No To Your Boyfriend When He Asks For Money?
Just say NO. There is no special rehearsal to say NO.
Tell him you can’t help him at the moment because you are having financial challenges.
If he gets angry and refuses to talk to you, that’s a sign you are his ATM,
And you should walk away ASAP.
Is It Okay For Your Boyfriend To Borrow Money From You?
It depends. Loaning your boyfriend money can cause tension and resentment, destroying the relationship.
Many relationships have ended due to financial disagreements.
If your boyfriend has a track record of paying back any money you give him without resentment,
It’s okay to loan him if he’s in need.
How Do You Know If Your Boyfriend Is With You For Money?
1. He’s always asking for money.
2. He gets angry and acts distant if you don’t give him money
3. He threatens to break up with you if you don’t give him money
4. He doesn’t support you financially, but he wants your money
5. He often disappears and only acts loving when he wants money