My boyfriend’s parents ruining our relationship; if you’re in such a situation this article is for you.
Let me share my story.
It was sunny, and I didn’t plan to go out. My sister announced that her old classmate was visiting.
The girl later came, and she was very easy to converse with. It was like we had known each other for a while.
When she was about to leave, I collected her number and we started talking on the phone.
Not long after, we started dating.
From the first time my mother saw my girlfriend, she didn’t like her.
She tried her best to ruin the relationship, but I stood my ground and
protected my girlfriend from her.
Eventually, my mother stopped fighting the relationship. Although she still doesn’t like my girlfriend, she’s no longer trying to sabotage our love.
I understand how it feels for your boyfriend’s parents to try and ruin the relationship.
In this article, I will share the possible reasons why his parents act that way and how to handle the situation.
My Boyfriend’s Parents Ruining Our Relationship: Why?
1. They Are Controlling
Most parents never see their children as adults, even when they are 18 or above.
They think you’re that little kid they gave birth to yesterday.
And if you live with them, it would be worse because you’re still their responsibility and they won’t respect you.
If your boyfriend lives with his parents, it might be why they have access to the relationship, and they’re trying to sabotage it.
If he lives with them, they see him as a kid and will try to control his life and decisions.
They can tell him you can’t spend the night because he lives with them.
2. Fear Of Losing Influence
Most parents see romantic relationships as a competition.
Some mothers see their son’s girlfriend as a rival.
They fight the girlfriend for their son’s attention.
His parents might be interfering in the relationship because they’re afraid he won’t listen to them anymore because of you.
Most parents don’t know when to let go and allow their kids to live their lives.
Most women want to be mummies for life, and when another woman comes into the picture, they feel threatened.
Your boyfriend’s parents might be jealous that you’re taking their loyal son from them.
3. Lack Of Communication Or Boundaries
Your boyfriend might not have officially told his parents you’re his girlfriend.
He might be trying to avoid the conversation with his parents, which gives his parents the right to disregard the relationship.
If your boyfriend had created boundaries and protected you from being disrespected, his parents would have accepted the relationship by now.
If I had kept quiet, my mom would have ruined my relationship.
4. Past Relationship Issues
His parents might try to ruin his relationship because they don’t trust his love choices.
They might feel he’s always making the wrong choice with women.
They might be looking out for him, not that they want to sabotage the relationship.
5. Unresolved Family Issues
Your boyfriend’s family might have an existing issue that makes his parents want to sabotage his relationship.
Maybe he has been battling low self-esteem due to his parents’ constant criticism; hence, they don’t get along.
They might want to cause trouble when they discover he’s in a relationship.
My Boyfriend’s Parents Ruining Our Relationship: How To Handle The Situation.
6. Discuss The Issue With Him
You can’t do much about the situation because they’re your boyfriend’s parents; he’s the one to handle them and set boundaries.
You need to discuss the issue with him and let him know how his parent’s actions are ruining the relationship.
He must stand up to his parents and make them respect his relationship.
If he lives with them, then he has to move out. They might never respect him if he lives with them.
He has to be his own man if he wants them to respect him and not see him like a kid.
Protecting his relationship will show if he’s man enough or if you’re wasting time dating him.
7. Limit Contact When Necessary
If your boyfriend’s family exhibits unbearable behaviours, you can temporarily limit contact with them to avoid trouble.
That’s the same thing my girlfriend did when she noticed my mom didn’t like or want her in the family.
I supported her decision because you can’t force someone to like you.
If their trouble gets too much, you can limit contact and only see them during important functions like family weddings and parties.
It will be difficult to limit contact if your boyfriend lives with his parent; that’s why he has to get his apartment.
8. Be Respectful And Understanding
Although your boyfriend’s parents might be trying to sabotage your relationship, you still need to respect them as his parents.
They might be afraid you will break his heart, so you have to be understanding.
Respect them because they are the parents of the man you love, irrespective of whether they accept you.
You have to give them time to accept the relationship and see you for who you truly are.
9. Quit If He’s Being A Mama’s Boy
If your boyfriend can’t stand up to his parents concerning the relationship, you don’t need to waste more time dating him.
Their interference will get worse with time if your boyfriend doesn’t deal with it now.
If he’s refusing to speak with his parents and set clear boundaries, then he’s not worth it.
It’s better to be single than be with a Mama’s boy whose parents control his entire life.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do I Fix My Relationship With My Boyfriend’s Parents?
If you’ve had issues with your boyfriend’s parents, you can do the following to fix it.
Apologize: if you’ve done something wrong that you feel is inappropriate, you can apologize to them.
Reflect on any misunderstanding or conflicts you had with his parents in the past and identify the role you played in it.
Sometimes, maybe his parents don’t like you; in that case, you must be patient with them.
Do something special: Small acts of kindness and consideration can go a long way. Offer to help with chores or bring thoughtful gifts on special occasions.
Maintain a positive attitude: Stay positive and avoid dwelling on past conflicts. Focus on building a better relationship in the future.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend’s Family Disrespects You?
Talk to your boyfriend about it. He needs to stand up for you
Be respectful, but give them space
Inform them you won’t tolerate disrespect
Walk away if your man can’t protect you from his parents
My Boyfriend’s Parents Are Very Controlling, And It Affects Our Relationship. What Can We Do?
If your boyfriend’s parents are controlling, it’s the responsibility of your boyfriend to be a man and confront them.
I’m not saying he has to be disrespectful; he needs to set boundaries.
If your boyfriend can’t do anything about his parent’s controlling attitude, it means he’s a Mama’s boy, and you want a mature man who can handle his own business.
If your boyfriend doesn’t do anything about his parents’ attitude, you should walk away to avoid further disrespect.