I am not really a fan of having a close friend of the opposite sex when you’re in a romantic relationship.
Having a close male or female friend might lead to temptation that’s difficult to resist.
I have a friend who prefers to talk with his female friend rather than his girlfriend, which is weird.
Your boyfriend and his female friend could have hidden feelings for each other or be sleeping together and using friendship as a cover-up.
In this article, I will share the possible reasons why his female might be causing trouble in your relationship and what you can do about it.
My Boyfriend’s Female Friend Ruining Our Relationship: Why?
1. They Like Each Other
That’s one of the reasons she could be a source of tension and confusion in your relationship.
Your boyfriend might have told her their friendship means everything to him.
The girl might have vowed not to stay away from his relationship; instead, she continues to be in your face and make you unhappy.
If that’s the case, they have romantic feelings for each other but don’t want to accept it.
Many people use the excuse of “we are just friends nothing more”, but in reality, it’s not true.
Emotions are involved, and it will explode when the right opportunity comes.
If your boyfriend’s female friend gets jealous and angry when you’re with him, or he always defends her even if she’s wrong, it’s a sign they like each other.
Let me quickly share my story.
Some years ago, I was dating a very nice and kind-hearted woman.
At the beginning of our relationship, everything was amazing.
We had a great connection and chemistry
But a few years later, things started to fall apart.
It all started when she had a new male friend called Harry.
Initially, she said they were just friends and nothing more.
I trusted her, so I didn’t bother to confirm if her statement was true.
As her friendship with Harry progressed, she started acting weird towards me until one day, when I discovered she was dating Harry.
It broke me to pieces, and the relationship ended.
If his female friend is ruining the relationship and your boyfriend defends her, they like each other.
2. Lack Of Boundaries
Maybe your boyfriend hasn’t clearly defined the boundaries between him and his female friend.
When boundaries are not defined, then anything is allowed.
Boundaries are difficult for some guys to define, especially if he knew his female friend before he started dating you.
She might even ignore his boundaries if she knows your boyfriend likes her.
Some female friends would claim they knew your boyfriend before you; hence, they won’t stay away from him.
3. You’re Feeling Insecure
Most ladies don’t want another female in their relationship space; it makes them uncomfortable.
Maybe your boyfriend’s female friend hasn’t done anything wrong; you’re just feeling insecure.
You might have been betrayed in your past relationships, which has made you paranoid.
It’s okay to feel uncomfortable when another woman is around your boyfriend, but you have to be sure they’re doing something inappropriate before you take action.
Your insecurity might be why you think she’s ruining your relationship, while in reality, it might be your actions that are causing problems.
4. Past Romantic Feelings
Maybe your boyfriend was in love with her in the past, but he got friend-zoned.
Some guys opt for friendship if the girl they like doesn’t want a relationship.
But that doesn’t mean the feelings are not there.
It would even be worse if the female friend knew he had feelings for her.
She would take advantage of it whenever she wanted and might even use it to spite you.
If your boyfriend is always defending her or prefers to hang out with her than you, that’s a sign he has romantic feelings for her.
5. She Has Feelings For Him
Your boyfriend’s female friend might have romantic feelings for him that he isn’t aware of.
She might have been friend-zoned by your boyfriend, making her angry and jealous.
Her jealousy might be why she tries to ruin the relationship.
If you notice your presence upsets her, maybe because she has romantic feelings for him.
My Boyfriend’s Female Friend Ruining Our Relationship: How To Handle The Situation
6. Reflect On Your Feelings
Before taking action, take some time to reflect on what she does that causes problems in the relationship.
Ensure you’re not jumping to conclusions or making assumptions without valid reasons.
Before bringing the issue to your boyfriend, you must be sure of what you would say.
You want to avoid being called jealous or insecure.
7. Communicate With Your Boyfriend
You have to discuss the issue with your boyfriend and listen to him.
Try not to be confrontational to avoid making him defensive or calling you jealous.
They might have been friends for a long time, so you should be cautious.
Be sure to have specific reasons why you feel his female friend is causing trouble in the relationship.
Give him instances of things she has done that are not in your relationship’s interest.
Please talk with your boyfriend about setting healthy boundaries with his female friend.
These boundaries should be mutually agreed upon and designed to ensure your relationship and his friendship are respected.
8. Meet With Her
If you feel comfortable, consider meeting his female friend in person.
You can share your feelings with her and let her know some of her actions have caused fights in your relationship.
Remember that She might tell your boyfriend about the discussion, causing more tension in the relationship.
9. Suggest A Group Hangout
If you become friends with her, you won’t feel threatened by her presence in your boyfriend’s life.
There is no better way to be her friend than to suggest group outings or activities that involve you, your boyfriend, and his female friend.
You might feel his female friend is ruining the relationship, but it might be something else.
You might not know what is happening until you become her friend.
10. Quit If You’re Not Comfortable
If you’re uncomfortable with your boyfriend and his female friend, you can quit.
You don’t deserve to be in constant worry and insecurity.
Quit if your instincts keep telling you something is going on between them.
Nobody should be in a relationship where they don’t have peace of mind.
You deserve to be happy and to feel your man is only for you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is It Okay If My Boyfriend Goes Out With His Female Friend?
It’s okay if he occasionally hangs out with his female friend, but if he prefers to take her out instead of you, something is wrong.
If your boyfriend tells you he’s busy whenever you ask him to take you out but takes his female friend out, it means he has feelings for her, and although he might try to hide it, his actions will make it obvious.
Is It Normal For Your Boyfriend To Talk To A Female Friend Everyday
It depends on their friendship, but generally, you should be the one he talks with daily because constant communication creates a strong emotional bond.
But if he prefers to talk with her daily while ignoring you, it means something is wrong.
Talking with her every day means he has developed emotional feelings for her.
But if they’ve been friends long-term, their bond could be strictly platonic. That’s why you need to be more observant.
How Do I Know If My Boyfriend Has Feelings For His Female Friend?
He shares his secrets with her
He prioritizes her ahead of you
He gets defensive if you talk negatively about her
He prefers to hang out with her than you
He ignores you when she’s around