my boyfriend wants a baby before marriage

My Boyfriend Wants A Baby Before Marriage: 11 Odd Facts

My boyfriend wants a baby before marriage; if you’re in such a situation this article is for you.

Let me first share a true life story.

Emily and Chris met at the grocery store. She complained about the rising cost of food items, and Chris joined the conversation.

Before he left the store, he asked Emily for her number, and a few months later, they started dating.

Six weeks into the relationship, he wanted Emily to move in with him, which she refused.

Four months later, he asked that they have a baby, and Emily didn’t agree because they weren’t financially ready.

Chris decided to take matters into his own hands by switching the contraceptives Emily was using with something else.

She didn’t know what Chris had done until she got pregnant.

When she informed him about the pregnancy, he said he wouldn’t help her until she agreed to marry him.

Emily knew she would be making a big mistake if she got married to him, so she refused.

Although Chris was the one who wanted a baby, he had only seen the baby twice in eleven years.

Having a baby changes your life forever, and if you’re not ready for such a big change, then it’s okay.

My boyfriend wants a baby before marriage; if you’re in such a situation this article is for you.

Why Does My Boyfriend Want Me To Have A Baby Before Marriage

1. He’s Afraid Of Fertility Issues

disadvantages of having a child before marriage

Guys these days are usually scared that a lady might have fertility issues due to living rough in the past.

Many women have been involved in one-night stands and have gotten pregnant for different men, which they terminated.

If your boyfriend knows you’ve had a rough past, it might be why he wants a child to prove your fertility.

He might be scared you won’t be able to have kids when you get married; hence, he wants a baby to be sure.

Some guys think that way, especially when they’re aware of your past lifestyle.

2. He’s Trying To Trap You

Your boyfriend might be trying to use a baby to trap you.

Having a baby might be his way of controlling you and making you dependent on him.

Pregnancy will leave you no option but to remain in the relationship.

Even when he treats you badly, you won’t want to leave because he will be your baby’s father.

After having the baby, he might tell you no one would date or marry you because you already have a child.

He might even dump you after you give birth and marry another woman who doesn’t have a child.

He might want you to have a baby to take you off the dating market without making a huge commitment such as marriage.

He might selfishly desire to keep you to himself without marrying you, and the best way to do that is to make you have a baby.

I know of a guy who was dating a very nice woman.

The guy was cheating on her, and she found out several times.

She decided to quit the relationship; unknown to her, the guy was trying to get her pregnant.

As she was about to quit the relationship, she discovered she was pregnant.

She didn’t want to be a single mother, which made her marry him.

Although they’re married, he still cheats on her to date.

3. Pressure From External Sources

Your boyfriend might be influenced by his family members, like his mom.

He might be the only child or his mom’s favorite, and she wants grandchildren.

It could also be that your boyfriend’s mom doesn’t like you and wants to be sure you can bear children for her son.

She might have advised him to have a baby before marriage.

Most men are close to their mothers, which makes it easy for them to be manipulated.

If his mom has been talking about grandchildren for a while or you’ve noticed she doesn’t like you, then the request to have a baby before marriage might be coming from her.

4. Previous Experience

Your boyfriend might have been married before to a woman who didn’t give him any kids, but they got divorced, and she took most of his properties.

Fear of repeating such mistakes might be why he wants a baby before marriage.

In such a case, he’s just a victim of his experience.

He might not want another failed marriage due to fertility issues.

5. Trying To Escape Commitment

Your boyfriend might be trying to avoid legal commitment.

He knows he might lose a lot in the case of divorce if he’s legally married to you.

Making you have a baby for him without marriage gives him the freedom to leave anytime he wants without hassle.

If you’re not legally married, you will get nothing if he decides to leave you.

He can abandon you after the baby is born and relocate to another city, and you can’t do much about it.

Some men want to know they have a baby somewhere while they go out to enjoy their life to the fullest.

6. He Doesn’t Value What You Want

why would a man want a baby but not marriage

A guy who cares about you and your future will want to know if you’re okay having a baby before marriage.

His request might be a subtle way of saying your opinion doesn’t matter.

To him, you give him a baby, or he leaves the relationship.

That doesn’t seem like someone who cares about your plans.

He’s just concerned about what he wants without considering what you want.

It’s easy to get a woman pregnant, but the responsibility of caring for the baby is where most men fall short.

7. You’re Pressuring Him To Get Married

Your boyfriend might tell you to give him a baby first because you started pressuring him for marriage.

He might want kids before marriage if you’re already living together or bought a home together.

To him, living together and owning a home is a huge commitment, like marriage.

What To Do If Your Boyfriend Wants A Baby Before Marriage

8. Decide What You Want

It’s your body, and you can decide whether you want a baby.

If you don’t feel comfortable about having a baby, inform him of your decision.

Please don’t let him pressure you into having a baby you’re unprepared for.

Being a parent is a huge responsibility, and it can alter the direction of your life forever.

Think before you make a decision.

Does your boyfriend have the financial capacity to care for you and the baby?

Do you have a job to support yourself if he decides to dump you?

Do you trust him, or has he demonstrated high integrity since you’ve been together?

Are you both mentally prepared to be parents?

Do you still have educational or career goals you need to pursue?

You need to answer these questions if you decide to have a baby for your boyfriend.

9. Have An Open And Honest Conversation

You have to sit with your boyfriend and converse honestly with him.

Ask him why he wants to have a baby before marriage, why not marriage then a baby.

His explanation will help you see things from his perspective.

If he gives reasons such as “i just want a baby” or “i want to see what’s it’s like to be a father.”

These are not enough reasons why you should have a baby for him.

You need to be sure he’s not trying to trap you with the baby while he messes around with other women.

10. Inform Trusted Family Members

he wants a baby but not a relationship

Having a baby before marriage is too big of a decision to make alone.

Inform trusted family members and listen to their opinions on the matter.

Sometimes, love can prevent you from seeing things clearly; that’s why you need the opinion of those who have no emotional attachment to the relationship.

Inform your family about the situation, and try not to keep it to yourself.

11. Consider Quitting If He Keeps Pressuring You

If your boyfriend keeps pressuring you for a baby, then you have to re-evaluate the relationship to find out if it aligns with your future goals.

When a guy starts pressuring you for a baby when you’re not ready, it’s best to leave because He can sabotage your birth control measures and get you pregnant.

If he keeps talking about a baby, you must be careful.

When a man tries to force you to do something you are unprepared for, he has ulterior motives.

Frequently Asked Questions

My Boyfriend Wants A Baby Before Marriage. What Should I Do?

If your boyfriend wants you to get pregnant, you can do the following:

Decide if you’re ready: A child is a huge responsibility. You have to be sure you’re ready and not allow someone to decide for you.

Having a baby affects the woman the most because of the psychological and emotional changes.

Having a baby is expensive, and it will change your life forever.

Your boyfriend can easily walk away and marry someone else because having a baby doesn’t affect him much.

You have to be sure he won’t bail out on you after you get pregnant.

Discuss with him: talk to him about your fears and listen to what he says.

Ask him if he’s financially and psychologically ready to be a father

You need to ask him for clarification in any area you have doubts about having a baby.

You have to make sure your boyfriend is a man of integrity.

Trust your instincts: your boyfriend might intend to trap you with a baby.

He will want to use the baby to control you.

That’s why you must trust your instincts before making a final decision.

If your instinct is against it, please don’t do it.

But if you are comfortable with the idea and don’t have any weird feelings about it, you can go for it.

Why Would A Man Want A Baby But Not Marriage?

There are many reasons why a man would want you to get pregnant before marriage, and they’re listed below:

He is trying to use the baby to trap you

He wants to be able to keep his options open

He’s trying to escape long-term commitment

He’s afraid of marriage due to his past divorce

He doesn’t feel marriage is necessary

My Boyfriend Wants A Baby, But I’m Not Ready. What Should I Do?

Tell him you’re not ready.

It’s your decision you can’t please someone else and become unhappy in the process.

If you’re not ready, say so, and don’t compromise because a guy who loves you won’t make you do what you’re not ready for.

He might want to get you pregnant and dump you.

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