My boyfriend doesn’t have a job and I pay for everything if you are wondering how to handle the situation this is for you.
But first, let me share a true-life story
Emily met Abel at the supermarket. They had a brief discussion at the counter and exchanged contact.
When they started to communicate on the phone, they discovered they had similar interests, which created a strong bond between them.
After some time with both of them knowing they’ve developed feelings for each other, Abel asked Emily out, and she accepted.
That was how their relationship started.
It wasn’t long before Abel lost his job and started staying at home.
Oh, I forgot that was five years ago. Abel has not gotten a new job in the last five years.
Emily has been taking care of all the expenses for these years, including giving him some money to spend.
Although Emily is tired of being the man in the relationship, she doesn’t know how to go about it.
In this article, I will share unique strategies you can apply if your boyfriend doesn’t have a job and you have to pay for everything.
Let’s talk about the effect of him not having any income and how it affects the relationship.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Have A Job And I Pay For Everything: How It Affects Him
1. Makes Him Comfortable
Because you are taking care of your boyfriend financially, it would make him comfortable and complacent about getting a job or starting a business.
Everyone has a level of laziness that can be amplified when given the opportunity.
Some signs confirm he’s relaxed and comfortable.
Such as, he doesn’t make any effort to get a job; he plays video games all day or watches movies into the night and starts sleeping in the morning.
The more you tolerate his laziness, the worse it becomes.
The truth is anyone can be in a situation where they lost their job or shut down their business due to some challenges, which is not his fault.
His mistake will be if he refuses to rise from the situation and create a better future for himself.
When a lazy guy gets fired from one job, he gives up and won’t try again to get another job.
Sometimes he can be unemployed for years, which can affect you.
2. Destroys His Drive For Success
The more your boyfriend stays at home doing nothing,
The more his ambition and drive for success diminishes until it gets to a point where he gives up on himself and relegates his destiny to chance.
He becomes defensive when you try to talk to him about getting a job and would often tell you
“What do you want me to do since I can’t find a job” the more you take care of his finances, the more he develops an entitlement mentality which is selfish behavior.
A guy who is serious about his finances would find something to do even if he has to learn a new skill.
3. His Self-Esteem Is Affected
The natural role of a man is to be a provider and a protector.
He wants to be the hero of his woman.
The moment he can no longer meet that role of a provider, he begins to act weird and appear shy in the presence of other guys.
He may be ashamed to relate with other men, especially if they know he’s broke.
His low self-esteem due to his financial situation can make him get mad at you for everything.
Or make him silent even when you try to communicate with him.
4. Make You Resent Him
No matter how much you love your boyfriend, you will soon begin to resent him if he has no money and you have to pay for everything.
Nobody wants a liability, especially women.
The pressure at work, the deadlines for you to meet and the bills piling up that needs your attention can make you angry and resentful.
The rising cost of things can make you spend more than expected, making you get angry at him.
It’s difficult not to lash out at your boyfriend when you are under financial pressure.
5. He Stands The Risk Of Being Abused
When he’s broke and doesn’t have a job, the tendency for you to abuse him is high.
People hardly act nice when they are under financial pressure.
You can become proud and arrogant because you provide for him.
You might also lose respect and take him for granted because he’s adding to your financial burden.
You would easily get attracted to a hardworking guy who takes responsibility for his finances, unlike your boyfriend, who plays video games at home.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Have A Job And I Pay For Everything: When It’s Okay To Support Him
6. He’s In College And Can’t Find A Job
If your boyfriend is in college and finds it difficult to get a job during his study, then it’s okay to support him financially until he can find a part-time job.
7. He Has Medical Challenges
If your boyfriend is unemployed due to a health challenge, it’s okay to pay for everything without complaining, knowing he would do the same for you.
You can support him financially until the medical challenge is resolved.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Have A Job And I Pay For Everything: How To Deal With The Situation.
8. Let Him Know You Are Under Financial Stress
Many women try to hide it and silently resent their boyfriend for not having a job.
Tell him how you feel about the situation if you love him and don’t want the relationship to hit the rocks.
Tell him he needs to get a job soon to support you, and you are getting tired of paying for everything.
It might hurt him, but it would wake up his drive for success.
If you hide how you feel, you will soon resent him, which can end the relationship.
If you love him, then tell him the truth.
9. Help Him Start An Online Business
An online business is the easiest way to get him to start something.
It requires very little capital to start, and the results come in quickly if you put in the effort.
Affiliate marketing is the easiest to get started immediately.
10. You Can Quit The Relationship
If you’ve done your best to help financially and also help him get a job,
But he’s unwilling to make any effort and keeps waiting for you to provide for him, then you should leave, no hard feelings.
You can’t teach someone how to take responsibility for his life. If he refuses to rise to his current financial challenges, there’s nothing you can do.
So many women have wasted years with a guy with no drive or ambition for success.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can Money Issues Ruin A Relationship?
Financial issues are a major source of conflicts in a relationship. Many relationships have ended due to disagreements that were caused by money.
What Do I Do If My Boyfriend Does Not Want To Work?
There are a few actions you can take, and they are listed below:
Stop Giving Him Money: if you were giving him money before, stop. It might be the reason why he’s lazy.
Since you are always available to help him financially, it can make him comfortable and complacent about finding a job.
You Can End The Relationship: if he still doesn’t want to work, even if you’ve done your best to help him, you can leave.
You wouldn’t be a bad person for walking away from a relationship that is becoming financially draining.
Should I Leave My Boyfriend If He’s Unemployed?
Being unemployed is not enough to leave your boyfriend except if you love him because of his money.
But he should have the drive and desire to get a job soon or start a business.
There’s a difference between being unemployed vs. laziness.
What you should consider is if he’s hardworking or not.
If he’s unmotivated about his life and finances, there is nothing you can do about it.