I understand how it feels to date a guy who acts like you’re worthless and mean nothing to him.
Your feelings and concerns are dispersed as if it means nothing.
He doesn’t appreciate the sacrifice you make for the relationship.
The relationship is now one-sided; you put in all the effort to make it work, and your boyfriend acts like it’s all about him.
He would verbally or emotionally abuse you, making your self-esteem fail and pushing you into depression.
I can easily relate because I was once in a relationship where she was never grateful no matter what I did.
She was busy fantasizing about her ex, who left her for another woman.
In this article, I will share what to do if your boyfriend makes you feel worthless.
But first, why does he act that way?
My Boyfriend Makes Me Feel Worthless: Why Does He Act That Way
1. He’s Jealous And Controlling
If your boyfriend is jealous and controlling, he will do everything he can to make you feel worthless because he wants you to stay with him.
If your boyfriend calls you names, he may be trying to attack your self-esteem to make it seem like he’s the only man who can put up with you.
He can call you ugly and say I am only “managing you,” but in reality, he’s trying to manipulate you to make you feel less of yourself.
He can say things like, “you are not that beautiful” or “I am the only man that can put up with your sh*t.”
These statements can make you feel bad about yourself and keep you with him even if he maltreats you.
A jealous or controlling boyfriend always tries to look for something to shame you.
It could be your past, body, or even making fun of you that you depend on him for money.
2. You Have Low Self-Esteem.
No one can treat you like you are nothing without your permission.
You might not realize that people treat you as you want them to.
I know you would ask how.
By the things you tolerate from them
Of course, you won’t tell him verbally to treat you wrong, but you could do that by your body language and what you tolerate in the relationship.
The fundamental nature of guys is to cross your boundaries; if you ignore it, he will do it again.
If you grew up in an abusive home, you are most likely to tolerate abuse and see it as love because of low self-esteem.
3. He’s Hurt About Something.
Maybe he discovered something you didn’t tell him, and he’s now angry.
He could be waiting for you to come clean with the truth, but that hasn’t happened.
And when a man is angry about something, he would try to hurt you by treating you like you mean nothing.
If he found out you cheated, or you had a terrible past, or you’ve been flirting with a co-worker, that’s enough to make him start resenting you.
Or you’ve been disrespecting him, and now he’s trying to revenge you.
Men hardly forgive cheating or disrespect.
A recent study found that men want more respect than love.
So if you’ve disrespected him, that might make him resent you and treat you like you are worthless.
4. He Came From A Toxic Family.
If your boyfriend is from a toxic family where he was treated as worthless while growing up,
He would likely treat you the same way because that is how he believes people should be treated.
If he saw his parents abuse or maltreat each other, he would grow up believing that’s how to love someone.
So many guys have problems in their love life because they grew up in a toxic family, affecting how they treat their girlfriends.
If your boyfriend told you he came from an abusive family that could be why he treats you like you are worthless.
5. He Has A Bad Experience With Women.
I was a victim of negative experiences with women; it almost made me decide not to treat any lady right because of my past.
But I told myself there are good women; I have only met the bad ones.
Your boyfriend could be maltreating you because of his negative experiences with women.
Maybe his ex-girlfriend played him for a fool, and he is now angry and trying to take it out on you.
Some guys have vowed never to genuinely love or treat a woman right because of their terrible history with women.
If you hear him often say he’s afraid of women or that all women are the same, then his past could be the issue.
His negative experience with women might be why he’s treating you like you are worthless.
My Boyfriend Makes Me Feel Worthless: How To Handle The Situation.
6. Embark On A Journey Of Self-Discovery
I wrote that nobody could make you feel worthless unless you allow them.
That’s why you must embark on a journey to discover who you are and what you shouldn’t tolerate.
So many women have lost their self-identity in the name of love; they don’t know who they are anymore.
They only become who their boyfriend wants them to be. Don’t allow your boyfriend to define you.
Tolerating a guy who treats you like you mean nothing already shows how you see yourself and that you have issues with your self-esteem.
I recommend you visit a therapist for counseling and find out the root cause of your feelings.
Maybe it’s not your boyfriend that makes you feel that way; it could be due to your childhood or life experience.
Book a session with a therapist who would help you unravel why you feel that way and also give you the courage to confront your boyfriend if there’s a need.
7. Understand What Love Is
In my years as a relationship coach, I have discovered so many people don’t know what love is. Many believe it’s just a feeling, but love is a decision to commit to someone romantically in the right environment.
Notice I used the word “the right environment,” which means you should leave if the environment becomes toxic.
Don’t think it’s love to tolerate emotional abuse. That’s not love but a lack of self-esteem.
Love is also the ability to leave a relationship when it becomes toxic.
It’s called self-love, the kind of love you should have for yourself before you start a relationship.
Sit down, define what love is to you, and ask yourself if your current relationship defines that love.
Write out the qualities you want a guy to have and the ones you don’t want him to have, and then take an unbiased look at your boyfriend and ask yourself if he has or doesn’t have them.
8. Set Firm Boundaries
If you don’t set boundaries, your relationship will become toxic fast
Your boyfriend can easily cross your boundaries because you didn’t spell it out before
And all he would say is sorry. And there would be nothing you can do.
Let your boyfriend know the boundaries in your relationship so that you wouldn’t tolerate any abuse and wouldn’t hesitate to walk away if he tries.
A firm resolution from you like that would help put sanity into the relationship, and if he crosses the boundaries you set, don’t compromise; walk out as you have warned.
9. Talk With Him
It’s one of the first steps to take; maybe he’s not aware, talk to him about your feelings and listen to what he has to say.
My girlfriend was acting strange at a specific season of our relationship,
And I didn’t know why so I tried to get her to talk until she opened up and said she felt she wasn’t good enough for me.
I encouraged her and told her she was more than enough, and I started complimenting her to make her feel better.
Open up and talk to him about your hurt; if he ignores you or makes jests of your emotions, I guess it’s time to leave and not waste time on a guy that is not worth it.
Your boyfriend’s commitment should be to make you happy and do what’s necessary to make you feel unique.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why Does My Boyfriend Make Me Feel Worthless?
A few of the reasons are listed below:
1. He’s jealous and insecure
2. He wants you to stay with him
3. You allowed him to treat you that way
4. He’s hurt about something, and he’s trying to get revenge
5. He feels worthless, and he treats you the same way
How Can You Love Someone, Even If They Make You Feel Worthless?
It’s challenging to love someone that makes you feel worthless unless you have low self-esteem. You need to work on your self-worth and be a better version of yourself.
You would also need to demand that he treats you with respect. Only then can you truly love him.
Otherwise, you might try loving him and end up with resentment.
My Boyfriend Makes Me Feel Worthless. Should I Leave Him?
It depends. Sometimes your boyfriend is not the one making you feel worthless.
You might be the one feeling that way and blaming him for it.
Sincerely analyze your feelings and ask yourself who is making you feel worthless him or you.
Talk to him about it if it’s him, but if it’s you, work on your self-image.
If he doesn’t change, you should leave.
Staying in a toxic relationship with the hope that your boyfriend would change without effort from him is a waste of time.