signs he's not worth it

6 Warning Signs He’s Not Worth It

Is he worth it?

How do you know when he’s not worth it?

So, you’ve been seeing this guy for some time now. You feel he’s special. And you’re really into him.

You’ve been texting each other, going out on dates, hanging out, and hooking up. But you’re not sure where he stands with you.

You’re beginning to wonder:

Is he stringing me along?

Is it just a fling, or is it something real?

And now, you’re confused.

When we’re super into someone, it can be hard to tell. More often than not, our feelings get in the way of seeing them for who they really are.

The romantic feelings we’ve for them tend to blind us and cloud our sense of judgment.

So, you can waste time figuring out what it really is…and turning a hook-up into something serious when you should have just walked away.

Here’s a true-life story…

Victoria has been seeing this guy for 3 months.

They see each other about once a week. He texts her every day to say hello and chat.

She likes him a lot, but she feels like he is not as excited about her as she is about him.

They both attend events together. And he’s somewhat affectionate with her in public. But he only refers to her as his friend.

Additionally, he often mentions that he’s single and still dating around when they’re with his friends…And makes a lot of jokes about not wanting a relationship.

His comments make Victoria question herself about what they are and confront him about her insecurity over the nature of their relationship.

Although he assured her that he considers them to be casually dating and that he’d want to continue seeing her.

However, he said he’s not ready to be exclusive with her and wants to keep dating around. But told her he isn’t sleeping with anyone besides her.

He keeps talking about other girls and how he feels about them. But say little to nothing about how he feels about Vic.

He only refers to her as someone with a “great ass,” and tells his friends how lucky he feels to have found a kinky girl.

And again, he doesn’t make plans. Unless, of course, when he’s telling her he can’t wait to have sex with her again.

When she finally asked him how he felt about her, he reiterated that he liked the sex and was growing attached to her but felt like he was still getting to know her.

But this guy doesn’t ask her any personal questions and isn’t interested in getting to know her more personally than he already does.

She likes him, of course.

She finds him intelligent, physically affectionate, and great in bed. They have hobbies and interests in common, and she enjoys talking to him daily.

Now, she’s starting to feel strung along. Should I just break up with him?

Is he wasting my time?

How do I read someone’s mind?

How do you know someone’s intentions with you?

I get these questions almost daily.

Honestly, he’s not worth your time. And I’m going to tell you why.

You should see everything I’m going to say here through the lens of relationship and dating and through the lens of time.

The idea of not suffering more than you need to, not spending longer time with the wrong person than you need to…and repeating same mistakes that are costly in terms of time.

6 Warning Signs He’s Not Worth It That Most Women Ignore

1. His Actions Don’t Match His Words

he's not worth it

If you want to know someone’s intentions, watch their actions, not their words… because actions have a far harder time lying.

Now, you may be wondering:

 “What if he’s telling you he doesn’t want a relationship with you but won’t stop calling, texting, wanting to spend time with you, sleeping with you, making future plans with you, sharing hopes, dreams and fears.”

Which do you believe?

Great question

So, let’s flip this a bit.

Because it suggests the inverse of the point I gave above.

If you’re to watch a guy’s actions, you’ll continue to invest more and more because his actions would be saying the right things even though his words are saying the exact opposite.

So, based on this, let me quickly add an addendum to the principle I shared above.

To know someone’s intentions:

“Watch their actions not their words…unless what they’re telling you is difficult for them to say.”

Let me explain:

Imagine this for a second.

When we’re trying to make any sale in life, we want to say all the good things to help us make that sale.

If, in the course of that sale’s presentation, someone tells you something undesirable, something that would cost them to lose the sale, what they’re saying at that moment should be given particular attention.

So, you shouldn’t be blindly looking at their actions; you should be paying attention to the smothering.

For example:

Let’s say the guy you’re seeing keeps investing in the relationship. He keeps texting, chatting, and calling you.

But then, he says he only enjoys having sex with you. He isn’t interested in anything serious.

So, what do you do?

You pay attention to the part where he says, “He isn’t interested in anything serious with you. That he only enjoys hooking up.”

As against paying attention to his effort or actions: calls and texts.

2. He Doesn’t Ask Personal Questions

This is one sure-fire sign that the guy you’re seeing isn’t worth it.

I mean, think about it…

Dating time is data collection time, not mating time.

When you’re just getting to see someone, the logical thing to do is to ask them personal questions so you get to know them…

Their dreams, values, beliefs, passion, and view about life. That’s how you know how they think about different areas of life.

And it allows you to conclude if they’re right for you or not.

Unfortunately, most people focus on sex.

Let me ask you:

Do you really want to keep dating a guy or possibly enter a relationship with him when he has no interest in who you are whatsoever?

I doubt.

The only thing he does is to call you for sex when he’s horny.

He’s turned you to a booty call.

My advice?

You’re better off with a man who is genuinely interested in you and where you want to take your life.

3. All He Wants Is Sex

Signs he's not worthy of you

When a guy says he’s still seeing other girls and doesn’t want to be exclusive with you, what does that tell you?

Obviously, he isn’t ready for anything serious with you, especially if all he does is reach out to you only when he wants sex.

In Victoria’s case, Rob was only interested in her sexually.

He refers to her as someone with a “great ass,” and tells his friends how lucky he was to have found a kinky girl like her.

And he doesn’t make plans. Unless, of course, when he’s telling her he can’t wait to have sex with her again.

And when she finally asked him how he felt about her, he reiterated that he liked the sex and was growing attached to her but felt like he was still getting to know her.

Can you imagine?

What other signs are you looking for to show you that a guy like that isn’t worth your time?

4. He Avoids Talking About The Future

how to know if he is worth your time

Now, depending on your situation, you may be wondering:

Is he stringing me along or taking it slow?

This guy you’re seeing says all the right things. But his actions don’t match his words.

Here’s my advice.

First off, it isn’t advisable to start asking a guy where your relationship is headed if you’ve been on two or three dates together.

In fact, don’t do it.

It should be a no-brainer.

How soon to ask a guy what his intentions are?

In a relationship, it’s natural to take things slow –one step at a time.

However, if you’ve been dating for like a month, it might be worth having “the talk.”

The genuinely interested guy will look forward to seeing what the future holds for the two of you. And he would be excited to admit it.

But, the guy who’s stringing you along will quickly try to change the subject whenever anything about the future comes up.

In other words, he’s very good at dodging the subject of commitment.

For Victoria, Rob kept telling her he wasn’t ready to be exclusive with her. And that he wants to keep dating around.

But here’s the interesting part:

He kept assuring her he wasn’t sleeping with other girls beside her. Obviously, he was lying.

That’s him stringing her along.

5. He Doesn’t Prioritize You

Don’t let anyone deceive you.

One sure-fire way to know how a guy feels about you is how much attention he gives to you.

Let’s be honest here.

How do you behave when you’re crazy about someone?

You want to hear their voice. So, you call, text, or even chat with them every day.

In other words, you prioritize them.

You give them attention.

Same way for everyone – including the guy you’ve been seeing.

Guess what?

If you’re always the last on his list, he doesn’t have time for you, doesn’t care about you, then it’s safe to say that you aren’t important to him.

Put differently; it means your relationship has no future whatsoever.

Don’t even overthink it. It won’t work.

6. He’s Never There For You

If the guy you’re dating doesn’t prioritize you, doesn’t have time for you, and doesn’t care about you, how can he be there for you in times of need?

If you can’t count on him in difficult situations in life, how will your relationship work?

You deserve to be with someone who will always be there for you.

Relationship’s tough, you know. You can’t do it alone.

Now, below are some questions girls like you are asking.

What should I do if my boyfriend won’t leave his girlfriend for me, yet he still strings me along?

Okay, let me quickly say this.

He’s not your boyfriend.

Well, that depends on your relationship terms. Perhaps you both agreed that he gets to have other girls besides you.

From the question, it’s obvious you don’t like that.

Honestly, it can be hard to leave. It’s going to be more painful to stay, though.

You have to leave. Don’t waste your time with a man who doesn’t know what he wants.

Move on to someone else who will give you the time of day.

Why does he keep stringing me along if he has someone else?

I think the right question should be…

Why do you allow him to keep stringing you along when you know he has someone else?

How can you tell if a guy is breadcrumbing?

If someone isn’t prioritizing you, doesn’t care about you, and isn’t ready to reciprocate your feelings, they’re breadcrumbing you

Here’s what you need to know:

“Someone can’t be ‘the one’ for you if they don’t choose you.”

You need to stop wasting time on the idea of unrequited love. And instead, see an equal exchange of energy as the goal.

What does being strung along mean?

It simply means when someone continues to make you believe something false for a long time… especially something about their intentions or beliefs.

For example, he keeps making to believe he’s interested in the relationship when his actions clearly say the opposite.

How do you know if he has good intentions?

It’s pretty easy to tell when someone has good intentions toward you.

Please pay attention to their actions and words. There has to be consistency and congruency.

Questions to ask a guy to know his intentions (questions to ask a guy you like)

1. Where do you see yourself in 3 years?

2. What are your thoughts about committed relationships?

3. What are your plans with me?

4. Are you looking for a serious relationship?

5. Are you interested in getting married? If yes, when?”

Final Thoughts

You might want to say; I like this guy a lot.

We have an amazing sex and connection. But I don’t really know where I stand in the relationship –with him.

These are justifications we all tell ourselves because we don’t want to let go of someone.

So, here are my final words.

If they keep going from hot to cold, please turn off the tap. They aren’t worth it.

Please don’t waste your time; it’s too precious.

Move on.

If you’ve experienced something like this before, please share in the comment below.

I’m rooting for you.

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