My boyfriend prioritizes friends over me, if you are in such a situation this article is for you
Having a boyfriend who prioritizes his friends over you can make you feel not good enough.
It can also make you feel the relationship doesn’t mean much to him.
He probably gives you attention if his friends are not available.
In this article, I will share the possible reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t prioritize you and how to handle the situation.
If you are ready, let’s dive in
Why Does My Boyfriend Prioritize His Friends Over Me
1. He Has Known Them For A Long Time
Maybe your boyfriend has known his friends for a long time, and they have been through a lot together.
It would be difficult for him to prioritize you over them.
He might have known them since childhood, and they’ve been there for each other through life’s challenges.
It’s possible he just got to know you, and the relationship is a few months old; in such a situation, it would be difficult for him to prioritize you over his old friends.
2. He’s Avoiding Conflict Between You And Them
Some friends can easily criticize you for putting a girl you just met over them.
They can start resenting you because of it.
Your boyfriend might be trying to avoid that by prioritizing them over you.
They can blame you for taking their friend away and silently hate you.
Imagine he doesn’t attend their usual weekend gathering. They can quickly accuse you of being the cause.
He might prioritize his friends over you because he doesn’t want to hurt their feelings.
I am not saying he’s right to prioritize his friends over you
3. He Doesn’t Value You
He might not value you because he feels his friends are always there for him when he needs help.
Secondly, he might have gotten what he wanted from the relationship and is no longer interested.
He can use hanging out with his friends as an excuse to avoid being with you.
Most men won’t tell you the relationship is over. They would rather start acting strange towards you.
4. He Has A Negative Mindset About Women
Some men believe women are not worth prioritizing because they ultimately betray you.
If your boyfriend made his ex the center of his world but got betrayed, it could be why he prioritizes his friends over you.
Some guys believe you shouldn’t make a lady your priority else she begins to misbehave.
Your boyfriend might have such a mindset.
5. He Can’t Balance You And His Friends
Sometimes it’s difficult for a guy to balance the demand for attention between his friends and his girlfriend.
If you and his friends don’t get along, they will want to take your spot.
Most times, it’s not easy when you are torn between the woman you love and your long-term friends.
Once upon a time, I was dating a girl who lived in another city. Whenever she visited, we would have a fun time.
My friends started accusing me of ignoring them whenever my girlfriend was around.
I had to compromise for both parties to be happy.
But how did I achieve that?
Whenever she was around, we would choose a day to visit my friends and have a nice time with them.
6. His Self-Esteem Is Tied To His Friends
Some people need their friends to validate their self-worth.
If they are not with their friends, they will feel insecure.
When they are with their friends, they become bold and courageous.
If his friends boost his self-esteem when they are together, he will likely prioritize them.
I know of a guy, who is confident with friends but has low self-esteem when he’s alone,
That might be the case of your boyfriend.
What To Do When He Chooses His Friends Over You?
7. Communicate Your Feelings
It’s important to communicate your feelings before you start resenting him.
Tell him you’ve noticed you are not his priority and his friends come before you.
Try and bring up the issue calmly to avoid getting him defensive, making the conversation fruitless.
Give him instances that made you feel you are not his priority.
Try not to hide your feelings during the conversation.
8. Set Boundaries And Expectations
Let him know you are not competing with his friends, but you expect him to do certain things to show his relationship is also a priority.
He shouldn’t go out with his friends when you’ve already planned a dinner date.
Clearly define your expectations for him to know his responsibilities in the relationship.
9. Encourage Compromise
Your boyfriend can’t cut his friends off because you feel he’s prioritizing you.
That’s why there’s a need for compromise.
After telling him what you expect, you should listen to him and then come to a truce.
He might not agree to some of your expectations; hence you need to agree on something that works for both parties.
A relationship is all about compromise. Without it, your man might feel your expectations are selfish, and you might feel he’s insensitive.
Discuss the issue thoroughly and agree on something.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Should I Do When My Boyfriend Prioritizes Friends Over Me? I’ll Ask Him To Hang Out With Me, But He’ll Say He’s Tired And Goes Out With His Friends Instead.
If your boyfriend prefers to hang out with his friends than you, there are a few things you can do, and they are listed below:
Have an honest conversation.
Tell him you’re not feeling like a priority to him, and it seems he doesn’t value you.
Be honest and tell him exactly how you feel without sugar-coating it.
Remind him of your role as his girlfriend, and although you’re not competing with his friends, you deserve to be his priority too.
Set firm boundaries and tell him you won’t tolerate being treated like trash.
Get to know his friends.
You would always feel your boyfriend is prioritizing his friends if you are not close to them.
Try and be familiar with his friends and hang out with them sometimes.
That way, you can spend more time with your boyfriend; secondly, his friends would remind him to go home and meet you.
But if you are not close to them, you often see his friends as competition and battle them for your boyfriend’s attention.
Quit if he doesn’t change
You can’t continue to be in a relationship with a guy that doesn’t see you as a priority.
If you’ve told him about the issue before and he ignored you. It could mean he’s tired of the relationship and wants to quit.
If you’re with a guy who doesn’t see you as a priority, you will always feel bad about yourself.
Why My Boyfriend Loves His Friends More Than Me?
He doesn’t value you
He’s tired of the relationship
He’s having issues balancing attention between you and his friends
He has known his friends for a long time
He’s using his friends as an excuse to chase other women
What Are The Signs Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Prioritize You?
He prefers to hang out with his friends than you
He makes decisions without telling you
He doesn’t invite you to family events
He doesn’t care about your feelings
He flirts with other women