I understand how it feels to have a boyfriend who doesn’t want you to have male friends.
He can become cold and distant when your male friends call you or invite you for a visit.
The truth is men are usually suspicious of other men because they believe their intention might not be genuine.
I do not support such behavior,
But there is always a reason why your boyfriend doesn’t want you to have male friends.
In this article, I will share with you the possible reasons why he’s terrified of you having male friends and how to handle it.
If you are ready, let’s dive in.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want Me To Have Male Friends: Why He’s Scared
1. He’s Insecure And Controlling
Insecure and controlling men hardly want you to have male friends because they don’t trust you.
Trust is not something you can quickly get from an insecure man.
A controlling man would want to decide every aspect of your life,
And try to make you avoid what makes him insecure such as having male friends.
Many reasons can make a guy insecure, and some of them are:
You’ve dated many guys before you met him, and he’s aware of it
He grew up in the wrong environment, which makes it difficult for him to trust you
He’s battling issues with his self-esteem.
The above reasons can make him anxious or furious when you are around your male friends.
2. He’s Been Cheated on in the Past
Not every guy was originally against his girlfriend having male friends.
Some are victims of betrayal, and they don’t want a repeat of the past.
Maybe his ex-girlfriend cheated on him with one of the guys she claimed was just a friend.
In June 2015, my relationship with a fantastic lady ended
Why?
I caught her cheating with a guy she claimed was just a friend.
Before that time, I had seen the guy calling her consistently,
But it didn’t bother me because I trusted her.
No matter the long hours of their discussion,
I didn’t question her loyalty, but she gradually started to change with time.
Until I discovered she was cheating on me with the guy she said was nothing but a friend.
She also said the guy had a girlfriend, so there was no way they could date, but it was all a lie.
It took a lot of personal development to trust someone I was in love with after that incident.
Your boyfriend could be in the same boat as I was,
Where the lady he trusted betrayed him,
And he’s finding it difficult to trust you around your male friends.
3. He Doesn’t Want Competition
Some guys don’t want male friends lurking around in the shadows,
Waiting for an opportunity to take advantage of their girlfriend.
Many of the male friends of ladies are guys that once asked them out.
If you do not accept, the guys will opt for friendship to strike another time.
For most guys, friendship is an entry point into a woman’s life
Many ladies have cheated on their boyfriends with a male friend during a vulnerable moment
Not every male friend has genuine intentions; some are your friends because they have a goal.
Your boyfriend might see your male friends as a competition he doesn’t want.
Things can go wrong quite easily for a lady with many male friends.
Most men are jealous and protective of who they love,
And might not want male friends who can become a threat to their girlfriend’s safety and the relationship.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want Me To Have Male Friends: How To Resolve The Issue
4. Discuss And Compromise
If you notice your boyfriend doesn’t want you to have male friends,
You should discuss the issue and reach a compromise.
Maybe you have too many male friends, and it worries him.
Or he was cheated on before by the girl he trusted.
Discuss with him to know why he doesn’t want you to have male friends.
Listen to his opinion without being judgmental.
After you’ve listened to him, you guys should come to a compromise.
You can decide to keep fewer male friends than before, or you can be more open about your male friends.
There should be a compromise between what he’s willing to accept and what you are willing to accept,
It shouldn’t be about him alone.
You shouldn’t stay away from all your male friends because your man is insecure.
Your boyfriend might want you to cut off your male friends because he doesn’t want you to have any support system if he decides to hurt you.
5. Set Clear Boundaries With Your Male Friends
Establish clear boundaries with your male friends to avoid causing tension in your relationship.
Some male friends might want to call or text you at odd hours or flirt with you,
Which can spark your boyfriend’s anger.
They might even want to sleep with you if you lose your guard.
Ensure you make it obvious you have a boyfriend you will not cheat on.
Don’t only say it because most guys don’t believe what women say,
Instead, show them you are unwilling to compromise your relationship.
6. Create An Opportunity For Friendship
It’s one of the ways to know if your male friends have ulterior motives.
If any of them refuses to be friends with your boyfriend,
They might have a hidden motive.
Your boyfriend being friends with your male friends would help reduce his suspicion and make him less insecure.
Your boyfriend would hardly feel insecure if his girl is hanging out with guys that are also his friends.
You can organize an evening meet-up with your male friends and go with your boyfriend.
I understand he might not want to go; try and convince him by offering him something in exchange.
When he becomes friends with your male friends, he will be less anxious.
7. Quit If You Can’t Cope
If you believe your boyfriend is suffocating you, you can choose to quit.
I do not recommend ending the friendship with your male friends because you are in a relationship.
Especially when you were already friends with them before you met your boyfriend,
If your boyfriend insists you must cut ties with your male friends,
Decide if you want to stay or walk away.
Your man insisting you must let your male friends go for the relationship to work is not healthy.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can You Have Male Friends While In A Relationship?
Of course, you can.
Having men as friends can quickly help you understand men’s world.
They can also give you an accurate interpretation of your boyfriend’s actions from a man’s perspective.
But you have to be careful with having guy friends.
Some of them might not have a genuine intention and might be looking for an opportunity to get into your life romantically.
What Do You Do When Your Boyfriend Is Jealous Of Your Guy Friend?
Address his fears: men are often suspicious of the true intentions of other men.
It’s normal because men are sexual predators and often don’t have genuine intentions with the opposite sex.
Be open about your male friends with your boyfriend.
Please don’t hide anything, especially when your guy friend starts to make advances at you.
Many women had cheated on their boyfriends even when they didn’t plan to because of their male friends.
Please don’t spend all your time with your male friend; otherwise,
You will likely develop feelings for him, and your relationship will be in trouble.
Cut ties with your guy friend if he starts making romantic advances at you.
Should Your Boyfriend Tell You Who To Be Friends With
No. he doesn’t. You have the freedom to choose your friends.
Although sometimes he can warn you of certain friends,
I recommend you listen to him because we often don’t see the fault in our friends until it’s too late.