My boyfriend gives me anxiety attacks, If your relationship has been giving you anxiety this article is for you.
Many people experience anxiety in their relationships,
Which means you are not alone.
There are different reasons why you could have relationship anxiety.
If you discover you’ve been having anxiety attacks since you started dating your boyfriend,
Then it’s time to evaluate the relationship.
Maybe his actions give you anxiety attacks, or you have emotional issues to handle.
But first, what is relationship anxiety?
Relationship anxiety refers to the constant worry and doubts you experience in a romantic relationship,
Even if the relationship is doing well.
Your instincts tell you something is wrong even if there’s no physical evidence.
Relationship anxiety is how the mind tries to safeguard us from experiencing what we’ve experienced in the past.
Thoughts like “am I wasting my time in this relationship”
“Is he cheating on me” or “will he ghost me like my ex” is due to anxiety.
In this article, I will share why you are having anxiety attacks in your relationship and what to do about it.
If you are ready, hop on and let’s dive in.
My Boyfriend Gives Me Anxiety Attacks: Why You Feel That Way
1. Abusive Childhood
Most people who grew up in an abusive environment have issues with anxiety.
They believe anything they have wouldn’t last or they are not worthy of love.
When they finally fall in love,
They live in fear and uncertainty that their relationship will soon fall apart.
Growing up in an abusive environment as a child makes you likely to feel anxious about your relationship.
You are afraid you might lose him and be alone again,
Which could make you monitor his every move because you don’t want your boyfriend to leave.
2. You Have Trust Issues
If you’ve been betrayed before by someone you trust,
It could make you paranoid and question every action by those around you, including your boyfriend.
If your best friend, parents or other close relatives betrayed you,
There’s a chance you will have an anxiety attack over your boyfriend’s actions.
You would find it hard to believe him, making you anxious about the relationship.
3. You’re Battling Low Self-Esteem
You will hardly trust your boyfriend if you have low self-esteem.
You would always feel insecure and act in a way that could make him ghost you.
Low self-esteem can come from adverse childhood experiences,
Repeated failures, Lack of financial stability and negative body image.
All these can give you the impression that you are not good enough for him,
Or that another woman will soon take him away from you.
If you get anxiety attacks anytime you see him with ladies or get jealous whenever he’s chatting with someone,
It could mean you have issues with self-esteem.
You need to work on your self-esteem if you are clingy and believe you can’t live without him.
4. Your Instincts Are Warning You
If you suddenly start having anxiety attacks in your relationship,
It could be your instinct trying to warn you of a future danger in the relationship.
I had a similar experience; when my ex started cheating, my instincts began warning me that something was wrong.
I felt she was no longer the woman I fell in love with at the beginning
I didn’t have any evidence that she was cheating, and I trusted her very much,
Which made me ignore my instincts.
My instincts were right. I later found out my ex was secretly dating a guy she said was “just a friend.”
5. He Cheated On You, And You Can’t Let Go.
If your boyfriend has cheated on you in the past,
It will give you anxiety attacks because cheating is not easy to forgive.
Cheating gives you the impression that you are not good enough for him,
Which can affect your self-esteem and make it difficult for you to trust him.
Cheating can trigger insecurity and make you monitor your boyfriend’s calls, chats, and text messages.
Your heart skips the moment you see him with someone else.
6. He’s Acting In A Similar Way To Your Ex
As humans, we hardly forget life experiences, especially the bad ones.
If your boyfriend is acting in a similar way as your ex that hurt you,
It will give you anxiety attacks.
That almost destroyed my new relationship after my ex and I broke up.
My current girlfriend behaved similarly to my ex, who cheated and gave me anxiety attacks.
Maybe your ex had someone he called “just a friend,”
And you later found out they were dating.
If you start a new relationship and the new guy has someone that’s “just a friend,” it would give you anxiety attacks.
We often do not want to repeat a negative experience.
My Boyfriend Gives Me Anxiety Attacks: What To Do About It
7. Find The Root Cause Of Your Insecurity
It’s easy to think your boyfriend is the cause of your anxiety attacks,
But in reality, it might be something else that you don’t want to admit.
Maybe you had an adverse childhood that has affected your self-esteem,
Or he cheated on you, and you can’t get past it.
You should ask yourself sincerely what is causing your anxiety attacks.
You can do an inner search to find out the cause of your anxiety.
Ask yourself questions like:
“Am I afraid he would leave me for another woman?”
“Why do I think he would leave me?”
“When did I start thinking this way?”
The questions above can help you find the cause of your anxiety if you answer them sincerely.
8. Seek The Help Of A Professional
After discovering the root cause of your anxiety, I recommend you sign up for therapy.
Therapy would help you deal with the emotional challenges that are giving you anxiety attacks.
If you have issues with your boyfriend cheating on you, low self-esteem, or abusive childhood, please sign up for therapy.
9. Communicate Your Feelings With Him
It would help if you communicated your feelings of anxiety with him to see his reaction.
It could be his actions that give you anxiety.
You should let him know if his actions trigger your anxiety.
Sometimes all it takes to deal with relationship anxiety is to get reassurance from your boyfriend that he loves you.
That’s why you have to discuss it with him; maybe he doesn’t know you have anxiety attacks due to his actions.
10. Don’t Act On Your Feelings
I know how relationship anxiety works because I was once a victim.
You try to call your boyfriend, and he’s not picking up,
And suddenly, your mind tells you he’s cheating on you, and you start to panic.
Your hands start shaking, your heart starts to beat fast, and it seems you are feeling sick.
You call him repeatedly without response,
And you start thinking of how to trace him and catch him red-handed.
That’s why you shouldn’t allow your feelings to control you.
When negative thoughts about your boyfriend come to your mind,
Remember it’s just a thought and nothing more.
Please don’t act on your feelings and start thinking of installing a location tracker on his phone.
When you don’t act on a thought, it dies down.
11. Move On If Nothing Changes
If you keep getting anxiety attacks even after taking the steps above, it’s time to move on.
Possibly your boyfriend’s personality and lifestyle would always give you anxiety attacks.
You need a healthy relationship where you feel safe.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why Does My Boyfriend Give Me Anxiety?
There are a few reasons why your boyfriend gives you anxiety, and they are listed below:
He’s not aware: maybe your boyfriend isn’t aware that he gives you anxiety attacks.
You might be the one feeling anxious due to your insecurities and think he’s the cause.
That’s why you should talk to him about how his actions make you feel,
And work together towards helping you manage your anxiety.
He’s controlling: it could be that he’s trying to control you, and by giving you reasons to be anxious,
He can weaken your self-esteem and use you to achieve his desires.
He could be deliberately trying to make you jealous to prove he’s hot and you are not good enough for him
He has someone else: if your boyfriend is always acting suspiciously, there’s a chance he’s cheating on you.
Most women get terrified when they sense that their boyfriend is cheating, which could cause anxiety.
Can A Toxic Relationship Cause Anxiety?
Yes. According to the net doctor, a toxic relationship can cause stress and anxiety, making you unhappy.
What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Makes Me Anxious?
Talk to him about it: let him know he makes you anxious,
And also tell him exactly what he does that triggers your anxiety.
If he loves you, he could do his best to help you resolve the things that make you anxious.
If he doesn’t care, he will keep doing it; at that point, you should quit.