You might have been body-shamed at school or work, which makes you feel fat.
Your boyfriend might have made a joke about your weight that triggered you.
Being proud of your personality is critical for healthy self-esteem.
In this article, I will share the possible reasons you feel too fat for your boyfriend and what you can do about it.
If you’re ready, let’s dive in
I Feel Too Fat For My Boyfriend: Why You Feel That Way
1. You’re Insecure About Your Body
Many ladies are insecure about their bodies because of what they see around them or on social media.
Constant exposure to unrealistic beauty standards and images of thin, “ideal” bodies on social media can make you feel insecure about your body.
Social media has brought about the rise of fitness coaches who try to make you believe you’re fat so you can sign up for their coaching program.
When you’re insecure about your body, you stand in front of the mirror and complain about your weight.
Many ladies feel fat because they keep comparing themselves with women they see online.
Comparing yourself with someone else makes you desperate to change your personality, which is unnecessary.
2. You Have Self-Esteem Issues
If you’ve had issues with self-esteem while growing up or you’ve been in a toxic relationship where your ex was calling you “fat”, it might be why you think this way.
Low self-esteem often results from negative childhood experiences, poor academic performance, poor job performance or perceived lack of certain physical abilities.
When you have self-esteem issues, accepting yourself the way you are would be difficult.
Low self-esteem would make you think thin women are perfect and have the best life, but that’s often false.
You might even panic that you might lose your boyfriend soon if nothing is done about your weight.
All these are happening in your head; your boyfriend might have never considered leaving you.
3. Past Experiences
Maybe you had experience of bullying, body-shaming or negative events that affected your self-confidence.
Maybe the people in your neighbourhood called you fat when you were younger, or your ex called you fat.
The kids in school might have bullied you because of your size when you were young.
These events might have given you a sense of insecurity, making you think you’re fat.
4. Negative Self-Talk
You might have negative thoughts about yourself, and you feel you’re fat and no guy should be with you. It could make you feel your boyfriend is too good for you.
Talking yourself down won’t help your self-esteem; the more you are involved in negative self-talk, the more ashamed you become.
5. Anxiety And Depression
If you’re going through anxiety and depression, it might make you believe things that are not true.
Depression makes you hate everything about yourself, hence the feeling of being fat.
Anxiety makes you get agitated easily, and when you see thin girls acting like they’re living their best life, you get triggered and begin to feel you’re fat and need to lose weight.
6. Insecurity About The Relationship
Maybe you’ve noticed your boyfriend is always hanging out with thin girls, and it has made you uncomfortable, and you feel too fat for him.
You might also feel threatened that your boyfriend loves thin women and will soon leave you.
Being insecure about the relationship would make you desperate to keep him, and it could make him take you for granted.
You become insecure if guys have left you in the past because they said you’re fat, and you’re getting scared your boyfriend would do the same.
I Feel Insecure About My Body Around My Boyfriend: How To Handle The Situation.
7. Engage In Self-Reflection
Start by asking yourself why you think this way.
You need to know the source of your feelings.
If you feel that way because of the thin girls you see on social media, then you need to change your mindset.
Everyone has a different body make-up, and you shouldn’t try to compare yourself to anyone.
If your feelings come from people saying you’re fat, you have to realize that people will always have something to say about your size.
Identifying the source of your feelings would help you to deal with it.
8. Communicate With Your Boyfriend
Your boyfriend might not see you that way.
He might not think you’re fat, nor does he want you to lose weight, but you won’t know until you communicate your feelings with him.
Some guys love fat women; I’m one of them.
I love fat women, and I am proud of my preference.
Expressing your feelings to your boyfriend will help you know what he thinks about the situation.
Assumption is a silent killer of romantic relationships.
9. Challenge Negative Self-Talk
Work on your negative self-talk by getting books on self-love.
If you cannot overcome the negative self-thinking, you can sign up for therapy.
Therapists can help provide insight into why you feel bad about your body and how to overcome such thinking.
A negative self-image will not disappear in one day. You have to be patient as you work on it.
10. Begin Your Weight Loss Journey
If you believe you’re fat and need to lose weight, you can sign up for a weight loss transformation program.
Such programs help you lose weight and get on a strict diet.
Many women who have tried to lose weight couldn’t until they signed up for a weight loss program.
Make sure you want to lose weight for yourself, not because of pressure from external sources.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do I Know If My Boyfriend Thinks I’m Fat?
If your boyfriend thinks you’re fat, he will do one of the following:
He will talk about weight loss often: if your boyfriend talks about weight loss often or he wants you to stop eating Junk food, that could be a sign he thinks you’re fat.
If you notice he gets uncomfortable when you start eating or say you eat too much, that’s a sign.
He wants you to sign up at the gym: If your boyfriend becomes serious about you signing up at the gym, that’s a sign he thinks you’re fat.
Or he becomes interested in your fitness routine; he wants to know if you did your exercise.
He doesn’t want you to miss gym sessions.
He admires your old photos: If you notice your boyfriend admires your old photos where you were slimmer, it could mean he thinks you’re fat.
Another sign is when he admires slim women, and he’s excited around them.
How Do You Get A Boyfriend If You Are Fat And Shy?
Work on your self-esteem (read books or visit a therapist).
Be friendly and easily approachable
Sign up on dating sites
Talk with guys on social media
How Do I Stop Feeling Like I’m Too Fat For My Boyfriend?
Focus on personal development
Appreciate yourself for who you are.
Talk to your boyfriend about it.
Give yourself time to get over it.
Gain confidence from your boyfriend’s love
Engage in positive self-talk