Women often reach out to us to explain the challenges they are facing in their relationships
And most times, it has to do with disrespect from their boyfriend.
Some women try to defend their boyfriend’s actions during the initial stages of his emotional abuse.
Many of them have gotten to a point where they can no longer ignore it.
And I guess you are one of such women.
Women are generally the most affected by emotional abuse
A study carried out by Ann Coker reveals that 29% of women go through emotional or physical abuse in their lifetime.
I know you might wonder why your boyfriend doesn’t respect you; in this article, you discovered the truth and how to handle the situation.
If you are ready, hop on my motorbike let’s take a ride
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Respect Me: Why He Acts That Way
1. You Don’t Respect Yourself
I know this would hurt, but it’s the truth.
People treat you the way you have unconsciously communicated to them to treat you.
It might shock you, but I have discovered through the study of human psychology that the more you tolerate disrespect, the more of it you would get.
Most guys often want to violate boundaries, and if you don’t deal with it decisively, he will repeat it and even go a step further to disrespect you.
If you respect yourself, you won’t tolerate any form of abuse.
You would confront your partner the moment you notice he’s beginning to disrespect you.
Are you aware that even though he disrespects you, there are ladies he respects?
The issue is not that he can’t respect women; the issue is that you’ve given him the confidence to disrespect you because he knows won’t do shit.
Apart from tolerating abuse, there are other ways you might be disrespecting yourself before him, such as
Nagging and complaining, you are financially dependent on him,
You always talk about your needs, and you keep flirting with other guys
If you don’t respect yourself, it would be difficult for your guy to respect you no matter how much he loves you.
2. He Doesn’t Care About You.
He may disrespect you because he doesn’t care about you and is tired of the relationship.
When a guy is tired of you, he starts to treat you anyhow to make you get the message that he’s tired.
Most guys would not directly tell you they are tired due to their selfish interests; they still want you around to satisfy their sexual urges, but how they treat you tells what’s in their hearts.
When you visit him, he only welcomes you and starts playing video games, doing something on his laptop, or even sticking with his phone.
Leaving you to find a way to keep yourself busy, he might even leave the house when you come around and won’t return until it’s dark.
He will yell at you at the slightest provocation, calling you derogatory names.
These are signs of disrespect, proving he doesn’t love you anymore.
You don’t abuse someone you genuinely love.
3. He’s Under Pressure Or Stress
Pressure and relationship don’t play nice together.
It requires a lot of self-control to be under pressure and still respect your partner.
Stress could be the reason your boyfriend gets angry at the slightest provocation.
Stress could come from many places such as work, finances, extended family, etc.
If you notice he suddenly gets mad at everything, there’s a high chance he’s under pressure.
Pressure to make a work deadline, job loss, or even high debt can make him angry and put his frustrations on you.
4. He’s Trying To Get Revenge
Guys generally do not talk even when you hurt them.
Society has taught them to be strong and absorb anything that hurts them.
Guys do not quickly tell you what you did wrong. They prefer to be silent about it and maltreat you because of it.
Your boyfriend disrespecting you could be a revenge strategy because you did something that hurt him.
When a guy is hurt, he enters a resentment mood, and if he’s not a nice guy, he can start disrespecting you.
For instance, if you cheated and he found out, that could be why he’s disrespecting you.
According to psychotherapist Philip Hodson, men find it very difficult to forgive their cheating partner because it affects their masculinity.
It’s also possible you disrespected him first without knowing that men value respect more than love.
5. He Needs Space
Many ladies want their boyfriends to spend all their time with them.
That’s not possible. Sometimes a man needs space to be alone, not that he doesn’t love you.
Most women interpret when a guy wants a little space to do other things as a relationship crisis.
They want the full attention of their boyfriend when they are together, which is impossible because he needs to do other things.
Giving a man some space to play video games or do some work on the computer doesn’t play nicely with women.
Your boyfriend may disrespect you because you don’t give him space to do other things that make him a man.
He can even accuse you of being clingy.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Respect Me: How To Handle The Situation
6. Love And Respect Yourself
The truth is if you rely only on your boyfriend to make you happy and feel loved, you might get disrespected and appear clingy to him.
Nobody wants a clingy partner. It will help if you practice self-love.
Tell yourself you are unique, and any man in a relationship with you is blessed.
It isn’t pride or some crazy ego thing; this is how you should see yourself.
Focus on self-development and become a better version of yourself daily.
Whatever you know is giving your boyfriend the confidence to disrespect you should be what you need to work on ASAP.
For instance, if you depend on him financially and feel that’s why he’s disrespecting you, try to work on your finances.
If you don’t love yourself, everyone else will take advantage of you because that feeling of low self-worth would make it easy for people to hurt you and get away with it.
7. Set Firm Boundaries
The truth is what you tolerate is what will continue.
When you believe your boyfriend would change if you tolerate him more, it can keep you in a toxic relationship for a long time.
You have to create a firm boundary and let your boyfriend know you wouldn’t tolerate any form of emotional abuse.
I know creating boundaries would make your boyfriend mad or even make you lose the relationship,
But you shouldn’t be in a relationship with him if he doesn’t respect your boundaries.
Talk with your boyfriend and let him know he’s been disrespecting you for a while, and you want to let him know, but you won’t tolerate it going forward.
If he violates your boundary and still keeps disrespecting you, that’s enough evidence that he doesn’t love you.
You shouldn’t be in such a relationship.
Teach him how to treat you with respect by carrying yourself with maturity and self-confidence.
Remember, disrespect cannot continue except if you allow it.
8. Make Him Accountable
Many ladies tolerate emotional abuse because they believe he would change if they loved the guy more.
That’s not true. According to Healthline, it’s difficult for emotionally abusive people to change without professional support.
You see, it wouldn’t be easy for your boyfriend to start treating you right because you are trying to love him more.
Showering him with a lot of love to make him change won’t work; instead, it makes him take advantage of you and disrespect you.
Hold him accountable in the relationship; that’s the best way you can help him change.
If he says something disrespectful, don’t ignore it. Bring it up and say
“Andrew, what you said hurt me. I would appreciate if you don’t repeat it.”
By holding him accountable, you are making him aware and careful of his actions towards you.
And don’t be afraid to go the extra mile to make him fall in line if he violates your boundary.
8. Give Him Respect
He may disrespect you because you don’t respect him.
The truth is respect is reciprocal, and it’s a two-way street.
You can’t disrespect your guy and expect him to adore you continually. That won’t be possible.
Give your man some respect; appreciate him if there’s something special he does for you.
Let him know he’s fantastic; don’t just tell him; show him by your actions.
If you were yelling at him before or calling him names, you would need to stop and treat him with respect instead.
That might make him reciprocate and treat you with respect too.
9. Quit The Relationship And Reconsider Your Values
If you’ve done everything you could, yet he still keeps disrespecting you, it might be time to say goodbye.
You can’t continue to be in a toxic relationship because it would ruin you.
If your boyfriend doesn’t stop disrespecting you, he doesn’t value you anymore and won’t care if you leave.
In such a situation, he’s not worth all that stress because there are men that would treat you better.
Don’t devalue yourself by sticking with a man that abuses you.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Are The Signs Of A Disrespectful Boyfriend?
The obvious signs are listed below:
1. He gets mad at you for everything
2. He often yells at you for the slightest mistake
3. He tries to make you do whatever he wants
4. He never apologizes for his mistakes
5. He makes fun of your achievement
6. He physically or emotionally abuses you
7. He acts as if he owns you.
What Does It Mean When A Guy Doesn’t Respect You?
There are a few reasons, and they are listed below:
He is tired of the relationship: when some guys are looking for how to end a relationship, they start to disrespect you.
It’s often a camouflage of what’s really in their hearts. It’s possible your boyfriend wants to end the relationship but doesn’t know how to handle it.
He’s dating someone else: maybe your guy is dating someone else whom he gives all his love and attention, and he feels nothing for you but contempt.
He harbors resentment in his heart: it’s possible you said or did something to hurt him, and he’s disrespecting you as a way to get revenge.
Men hardly talk when hurt; society has taught them to absorb things. It might be why he’s angry with you, acting like you are worthless.
How Do You Deal With A Disrespectful Boyfriend?
Treat yourself with respect; if you don’t value yourself, don’t expect it from your boyfriend.
Talk to him about his actions and how they disrespect you.
Ask him to forgive you if you did anything wrong to offend him
Set firm boundaries and make him aware wouldn’t tolerate disrespect
Give him another chance if he apologizes for his actions.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Respect Me. How Can I Change That?
You can make changes by doing the following:
Inform him about it: he should be aware he’s disrespecting you. He may be under pressure and doesn’t know his actions are disrespectful.
Financial and office pressure can easily make your boyfriend act weird and disrespectful.
Quit if he doesn’t change: you can’t continue to endure disrespect because it can destroy your self-worth.
You shouldn’t be in a toxic relationship because you are in love.
You should quit if your boyfriend doesn’t change even after you’ve told him about his actions.