why does my boyfriend hit me

My Boyfriend Hits Me: 7 Odd Facts

My boyfriend hits me. If you are in such a situation this article is for you

Let me share a true life story,

On July 25, 2005, Judy shot and killed her boyfriend.

But why would she go that extreme?

You will find out soon.

Judy met her boyfriend in the military.

Within a short time, they started having romantic feelings for each other

Her boyfriend (Jerry) was everything she wanted in a man,

He was well-mannered, soft-spoken and gave her all his attention.

Three months into the relationship, Jerry hit her for the first time,

He was so sincere in his apology that you would think it was a mistake.

He knelt to beg Judy and told her it wouldn’t happen again, but it was a lie.

Two weeks later, he hit her again inside the car.

Judy said something that got him angry,

And he punched her in the nose, and she was bleeding.

He left her in the car without saying sorry.

That was how he continued to hit her even at the slightest provocation until the day Judy decided she was leaving him.

He tried attacking her, and she shot and killed him in self-defense.

This article is for you if you are in a relationship where your boyfriend hits you.

But first, why does he act that way?

Why Does My Boyfriend Hit Me: 5 Possible Reasons

1. He’s From An Abusive Family

why does my bf hit me

Most guys who hit their girlfriends grew up in abusive homes.

Judy’s boyfriend was from an abusive home; his siblings were into drugs

Studies show that children who grow up in an atmosphere of violence are likely to become aggressive.

That’s why you should find out about your boyfriend’s family before committing to a relationship.

Even when you discover he’s from an abusive home,

What steps has he taken to work on his adverse childhood experiences?

If he hasn’t done anything to work on himself, such as visiting counselors,

Signing up for therapy and reading books,

He will likely be violent with time.

Children witnessing violence affects their mental well-being,

And creates anger and resentment in them, waiting to explode.

If your boyfriend grew up in an environment of domestic violence,

He would likely become violent in his romantic relationships.

Such men believe you have to beat a woman to make her behave.

Witnessing abuse as a child would create the wrong mindset in him.

Kids learn faster with what they see than they hear,

And what they see hardly leaves their memory even up to adulthood.

2. His Self-Control Is Broken

A man’s self-control needs to break down for him to hit a woman.

If he hits you the first time, it becomes easier to hit you again with less remorse.

Self-control allows you to keep your anger in check despite the provocation.

When you have no self-control, you are likely to become violent.

Many things could make your boyfriend lose his self-control and hit you.

Some of them are listed below:

He found out you cheated on him

He has resentment in his heart against you

He under financial or emotional pressure

You insulted him.

When your boyfriend’s self-control degenerates to the extent that he had to hit you, it won’t be easy to fix.

Violence is usually not a one-time event.

The first time a guy hits you is always the hardest because his self-control is still intact,

The moment he hits you, he will likely hit you again and apologize.

It would get to a point where he doesn’t say sorry anymore,

He tries to make it your fault that he beat you.

3. You Allowed Him

A man would treat you the way you allow him to treat you.

He will hit you again if you let him get away the first time.

His mind is going to tell him you are okay with violence.

He might even believe you enjoy it, and hitting you makes you behave.

You shouldn’t tolerate violence no matter how much you love him.

If the first time he hit you, and you didn’t take any drastic action,

That’s a signal he can do it again and get away with it.

You shouldn’t give excuses for your boyfriend, such as

“I love him; he would change,” or

“I provoked him; that’s why he hit me.”

There is no justification for abuse.

If he didn’t have violence in him,

Hitting you wouldn’t be the first thing that comes to his mind during an argument or misunderstanding.

4. He’s Angry About Your Past

My Boyfriend Hits Me

If you are someone who had a rough past and your boyfriend is aware,

It could stir up anger in his heart.

That anger, if not correctly handled, can make him hit you.

Men are very good at hiding their anger until they explode because of it.

If your boyfriend is someone who can’t manage his emotions,

Then he can hit you because he’s angry about your past.

Maybe you cheated on him sometime in the past or slept with many guys before you met him.

All these can bring anger to his heart, making him hit you at the slightest provocation.

If your boyfriend is always talking about your past with anger, that’s proof your past triggers him.

5. He Has No Respect For You

When a guy doesn’t respect you, he can hit you without showing any form of remorse.

Even when he apologizes, he will still do it again.

He will only apologize if he observes he’s about to lose you.

He can threaten to commit suicide if you decide to leave him,

It’s all a manipulative technique to keep you in the relationship.

Many women don’t know that a guy hitting you is a deliberate act; it’s never a mistake.

Taking violence from a guy as a mistake is why so many women have died.

A guy would first decide to hit you in his mind before he physically carries out the act damning the consequences.

His action proves that he doesn’t feel you would do anything about it,

Which is a lack of respect for you.

Many guys believe they can get away with anything by saying,

“I’m sorry, please forgive me,”

And if you are such a lady that let issues go because he said “sorry, “

He would keep abusing you.

What Do I Do If My Boyfriend Hits Me

6. Insist He Goes For Therapy

What Do I Do If My Boyfriend Hits Me

After your boyfriend hits you the first time,

I know he will do everything possible to apologize to you, And claim it was a mistake.

He would promise it wouldn’t happen again.

It would happen again if you refuse to take strict measures because of his action.

You must insist he works on himself and sign up for therapy and counseling for the relationship to continue.

He needs to be under the supervision of a licensed therapist to help him manage his abusive attitude.

If he’s unwilling to make the required sacrifice to ensure he doesn’t hit you again,

You should leave the relationship immediately.

Don’t be deceived by his shower of love as a way of apologizing to you and his constant

“I’m sorry it wouldn’t happen again” assurance.

If you don’t take urgent measures, he will hit you again soon.

As part of the apology process,

He should sign up for therapy and join an anger management group.

You must see him work on himself daily to be a better man,

Otherwise, he will hit you again.

Some women get carried away by the heartfelt apology of their boyfriends,

But they soon discover that the abuse didn’t stop, don’t be like them.

It will happen again if a woman allows a man to get away with violence.

You should only continue the relationship if your boyfriend shows psychological improvement after signing up for therapy.

You shouldn’t decide to stay with him based on your love for him,

But on how much he’s willing to work on himself to ensure he never hits you again.

If you tolerate violence in the name of love,

That’s not love; you are just a victim of low self-esteem.

7. Forgive Him But Walk Away

If he’s unwilling to work on himself and believes that saying “sorry” is enough to make you forgive him,

And continue the relationship, then you should quit.

You should forgive him because forgiveness is essential,

But you shouldn’t stay with him because the chances that he will hit you again are high.

You shouldn’t take such risks with your life.

If he claims he doesn’t need therapy or counseling and he’s fine,

That’s likely not true because violence is not a one-time event.

It repeats itself in horrible ways and increases with time.

If he doesn’t want to work on himself to ensure he doesn’t hit you again,

You should forgive him, but please RUN.

Frequently Asked Questions

My Boyfriend Hits Me But Why And Does He Love Me?

1. The possible reasons why he hits you are listed below:

2. He grew up in an abusive environment

3. He lacks self-control

4. He’s under pressure

5. He has no respect for you

6. He has anger issues.

Does He Love Me?

Although most abusive partners would claim they love you,

I find that hard to believe.

Your boyfriend might say he hits you because he loves you and can’t bear to see you leave him,

But that’s not love but an obsession.

Many women have ended up in the grave because they dated an abusive guy.

Love is not just words but action,

And if your boyfriend could go to the extent of inflicting pain on you, that’s not love.

If he can hit you in the name of love, then he could end your life someday.

Do I Forgive My Boyfriend For Only Hitting Me Once?

The chance that he would hit you again is very high.

He might apologize to you for the first few times and then hit you without remorse.

You can forgive him but insist he goes for therapy before you can continue the relationship; otherwise,

You are putting yourself in danger.

Research has shown that violent traits are difficult to change without professional help.

How To Stop My Boyfriend From Hitting Me?

Insist he goes for counseling and therapy.

Take a break from each other and evaluate the relationship

Run if he still exhibits violent traits.

My Boyfriend Hit Me Should I Leave?

The truth is abusive men hardly ever change,

And if your man hits you the first time, you should run as fast as you can.

If a man is abusive, his assault on you will increase with time.

Violence is hardly a one-time occurrence.

You can check out domestic violence statistics here.

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