he is perfect but i don't love him why

My Boyfriend Loves Me But I Don’t Love Him: 11 Odd Facts

My boyfriend loves me but I don’t love him, Before discussing how to deal with the issue, let me share a true story.

Esther and Mike have been friends since high school.

Mike expressed his romantic feelings toward her, and she said NO.

Some years later, Esther graduated from college, Mike asked her out again, and she reluctantly agreed, although she didn’t love him.

She felt Mike had been persistent and she would love him with time, but that never happened.

Mike deeply loved Esther; she tried everything possible to love him back but felt nothing.

He started talking about marriage, which terrified Esther because she didn’t want to marry a guy she didn’t love.

She gathered courage and told Mike the relationship was over, and he was devastated.

He tried his best to get her back, but she didn’t change her mind.

Finally, Mike accepted that she was not returning and moved on.

On the other hand, Esther met a guy who made her feel butterflies in her stomach; she eventually had two kids for the new guy, but…

The guy was irresponsible and didn’t care about her.

Mike and Esther were still casual friends, and he was doing well in life; Esther claims she has started having feelings for Mike, but he has already moved on.

Why the heck did I share this story?

Is it to change your mind concerning your boyfriend?

You will find out soon.

It’s okay if you don’t love your boyfriend, but the big question is, “What will you do about it.”

In this article, I will share the possible reasons why you find it difficult to love your boyfriend.

And what you can do about the situation.

He could be the perfect boyfriend or the man of your dreams, yet you don’t love him.

He Is Perfect But I Don’t Love Him. Why? (8 Reasons)

1. You Might Be Defining Love The Wrong Way

My Boyfriend Loves Me But I Don't Love Him

Most people define love wrongly; they believe love is a special feeling you have towards someone that stays that way forever.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case.

Love is a decision to commit to someone. It’s not a feeling.

Ask yourself how you behave when you are in love, and then find out if you are already doing those things in the relationship.

It’s possible to love someone and not know it until you carefully evaluate your actions.

What many people call love is just infatuation which depends on circumstance.

If the guy is handsome and eloquent, then some ladies would assume they are in love, and they’ve met their prince charming.

But a few months later, Prince Charming starts to misbehave and become abusive, and the love the woman claims to have for him disappears.

Then she starts to have feelings for a guy she once rejected.

If you don’t love your boyfriend, then decide to love him and start working on it daily.

If there are certain things a man does that make you fall in love, then make your boyfriend do those things.

2. You Are Still In Love With Your Ex

I once dated a girl who was finding it difficult to love me.

Although she claimed she had gotten over her ex, her actions proved otherwise.

Finally, I caught her cheating with the same ex, which ended our relationship.

Guess what?

Immediately after we broke up, she went back to her ex.

Maybe you are still in love with your ex, so it’s difficult for you to love your boyfriend.

The heart can hardly contain more than one romantic partner.

Ask yourself sincerely,

Are you still in love with your ex?

3. You Are Expecting Someone Better

Maybe you think he’s not good enough for you, and you believe you would find someone better, making it hard for you to love him.

You could be expecting a more handsome or rich guy you believe is in your league.

If you expect someone better, it would be difficult for you to love your boyfriend because you are not fully committed to the relationship.

Anything he does would make you angry, and you would keep threatening him with a breakup.

4. You Are Battling Guilt

Maybe you are dating someone else, and the guilt affects your ability to love him.

Guilt makes you believe you don’t love him, and when he gets closer, you push him away because you feel bad for betraying him.

If you cheat on him and he doesn’t know, the guilt can make loving him difficult.

5. He’s Boring

he is perfect but i don't love him why

Most women are attracted to bad guys because they are exciting and adventurous.

What most women love about bad guys is the uncertainty and the emotional rollercoaster of dating a bad guy.

If your boyfriend is boring and very predictable, it might have rubbed off the excitement in the relationship.

You might have agreed to date your boyfriend because he’s nice and everyone thinks he’s a great choice.

A relationship with a boring guy can quickly become a chore, making you fall out of love with him.

6. You Had A Negative Childhood Or Relationship Experience

You might have closed your heart to love if you had a negative or abusive childhood.

You might feel love is for the weak, and you don’t want such weakness.

Having abusive parents can significantly affect your ability to love someone romantically.

Being heartbroken by a guy you truly love can also affect your ability to love your boyfriend.

The pain and hurt from your previous relationship don’t easily disappear and can affect how you love your current boyfriend.

I once dated a girl who just came out of a very messy breakup

Her ex married another woman while they were still in the relationship.

It was difficult for her to heal and love me even though I did my best.

Eventually, we broke up.

7. There’s Something About Him That Turns You Off

he loves me but i don't love him

I have a friend whose girlfriend could not love him because she was eight years older.

The age difference put a strain on the relationship.

Although the guy didn’t care, it was a big deal for the lady.

Maybe there’s something about your boyfriend that turns you off.

Things like his height, physical appearance, fashion sense and many others.

Find out if it’s something you can resolve or what you can live with. If it’s not, it’s best to walk away.

He Loves Me But I Don’t Love Him: What To Do About It

8. Give It Sometime

Love grows with time.

Maybe you don’t love him because you don’t know him yet.

Give it some time.

Don’t be in a hurry to let him go and regret it later, and don’t cheat on him, either.

Stay committed to the relationship, and with time, you might get to love him.

You shouldn’t rely on infatuation that doesn’t last; true love grows with time.

9. Heal From Your Past Hurt

Your past hurt could be making it difficult for you to love him.

Take some time from the relationship to heal and regain your self-esteem.

Explain to him that you need some time alone and use that time to focus on healing from your past hurt.

Sometimes staying away from your boyfriend can show you how much you love him.

10. Seek Professional Help

If you find it difficult to heal from your past hurt or don’t just know why you don’t love your boyfriend, you can sign up for relationship counseling.

Attending the sessions can open your eyes to things you’ve missed about yourself and your relationship.

11. End The Relationship If Nothing Changes

You can’t continue to be in a relationship with a guy you don’t love.

If you’ve done the above things and nothing changes in the relationship, you have to quit and find someone you truly love.

Your boyfriend also deserves a woman that would truly love him.

Frequently Asked Questions

What To Do If You Don’t Love Your Boyfriend But He Loves You?

Give it time love grows with time.

Heal from past hurt.

Seek professional help like a relationship counselor

Decide to love him and be fully committed to the relationship

Can You Love Your Boyfriend But Not Be In Love With Him?

Yes, it’s possible to love him as a friend and not have romantic feelings toward him, especially if he has been your friend for a long time.

It’s sometimes difficult for some ladies to be in love with a guy they have friend-zoned.

Why Do I Love Him But Not In Love With Him?

There are a couple of reasons, and some of them are listed below:

You’ve friend-zoned him, and it’s now difficult to fall in love with him

You are expecting someone better

He’s boring, and you want adventure

He’s not your kind of guy, but everyone thinks he’s a great guy

You’re still in love with your ex.

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