My boyfriend is ashamed of me.
Is it true, or am I dreaming? Those were the words of Stella
Below is Stella’s story in her own words;
Dear Lord, I was happy deep within me.
For the first time in many years, I felt loved, wanted, and cherished…
So much that the feeling of being wanted and loved was such an incredible emotion,
That I’d look forward to waking up every morning,
I finally had a reason to be happy.
That someone so successful and smart as Leonard chose me to be his girlfriend.
I was below average almost in everything.
I didn’t have a good job.
I was struggling with my studies. Worst of all, I was overweight.
And I told him I’d nothing to offer him.
And that his friends and family would never approve of me.
Besides, I didn’t want to drag him into my messy life.
But he said he wanted to be with me anyways,
That I’m beautiful from the inside out.
And that’s all that matters to him.
In shock, I stared at him open-mouthed.
I’d often catch myself staring at him and wondering, “how did I get so lucky?”
I never knew it was possible to love a guy as much as I loved him.
And because of the way he accepted me (or so I thought),
I stopped being harsh on myself.
Of course, I knew I wasn’t rich. I couldn’t possibly treat him with lovely gifts.
But I did the next possible thing anyone in my position would do…to show how important he was to me.
I would cook and clean his home.
And did his laundry even though he always asked me not to. But I did.
I wanted him to feel wanted and loved too.
However, my world crashed when I heard my boyfriend tell his friends that he was ashamed of being seen with me.
He said we belong to a different world.
This whole time, I thought I was being loved and that he was proud of me.
But I was wrong.
Maybe you’re in a similar situation.
You’re thinking, “My boyfriend is embarrassed of me.”
That’s why I wrote this article for you.
I’ll share some signs your boyfriend is ashamed of you.
And exactly what you can do about it.
Let’s jump in.
My Boyfriend Is Ashamed Of Me: 5 Signs
1. He Doesn’t Introduce You To His Friends Or Family
You’re wondering: “I feel like my boyfriend is embarrassed of me.”
Well, you’re not alone.
Mary and Evans have been together for 2 years.
Since they started dating, she only met one of Evan’s friends by chance
When she asks him why he hasn’t introduced her to his friends yet,
He always comes up with some random excuses.
Here’s one real sign your boyfriend is embarrassed of you,
He never makes time to introduce you to his friends and loved ones.
Mary had the same experience in her relationship with Evans,
He gave her constant reasons and excuses why he couldn’t introduce her to his friends and family.
Or the reason he preferred to go out with his buddies without her.
She didn’t want to press him on the matter at the time because she felt he must have good explanations for his actions.
But it wasn’t until they split up and she reflected on the entire relationship did she understand,
He was embarrassed by her and didn’t want them to meet her.
He may have believed that they wouldn’t like her or would condemn him for dating someone so obviously outside their league.
Whatever his reasons are…
But here’s what you must understand:
While it’s common for some men to be reluctant to show you to their family or friends immediately,
This shouldn’t be a problem if you’ve been dating for a while.
Unless there’s a justification,
It may be because he finds something inherently embarrassing about you that is keeping him from introducing you to his loved ones.
2. He Doesn’t Post Your Pictures On Social Media.
How do you know if your boyfriend is ashamed of you?
Well, Rosemary found herself asking the same question.
Timothy and Rosemary were dating,
But he refused to post photos of them together on his Facebook timeline or even tag her on his post.
He’d get pissed off whenever she tags him or posts pictures of them.
It wasn’t really a big deal to her.
But she found out that he had posted photos of his previous exes on his wall.
He doesn’t post images of you on his Instagram,
And you aren’t yet friends on Facebook?
Perhaps, this is what you’re going through.
And even when you bring it up,
He says he’s not a social media fanatic.
Yet, he uploads pictures of himself and his friends every time.
The fact that he doesn’t want to brag about you online is a huge red flag that he’s embarrassed of you.
Sure, some men like to keep their love life private,
But you’ll be able to tell whether he’s telling the truth if his profiles match his claims.
But what if he posts every other aspect of his life,
From his meal to his nightclub outing on social media but never brings up your name?
If he does, that means he’s ashamed of you.
3. You Spend Most Of Your Time Together At Home.
Clara has been dating Isaac for a little more than seven months.
But he only sees her at night.
They spend more than 80% of their time sleeping together another 15% watching movies on Netflix.
No real dates.
Does that sound like you?
You see, in the beginning, Clara thought it was because her boyfriend preferred to chill at home instead of going out on actual dates.
But with time, you begin to get the unsettling feeling that he would prefer to be out there if he weren’t at home with you.
The painful truth is:
Because he fears what other people will think if they see you two together, he doesn’t want to be seen out with you.
In addition, if you go out together,
You might notice that he avoids his typical hangout spots for fear of running into his friends.
Not wanting to go out with you is a sign your boyfriend is embarrassed of you.
4. He Body Shames You
My boyfriend is ashamed of me because I’m fat.
And he doesn’t want his friends to know he’s dating a fat girl.
Matilda is a thick girl. She has a proper hourglass shape.
She loved her body before they met.
When they started dating, she was happy.
But her happiness soon became fleeting.
Within a couple of weeks of dating,
James looked her in the eye and told her he wasn’t comfortable with her shape.
“Your weight is a barrier,” James said to her.
My weight, a barrier?
With those innocent five words, “your weight is a barrier,”
He ruined her self-esteem forever.
She still hasn’t recovered.
Does your boyfriend body shame you?
Does he constantly put you down (in front of other people)?
Or perhaps, he compares you with his exes or other women.
Then that’s a sign he’s embarrassed of you.
James never stopped talking about how gorgeous his ex-girlfriends were either.
He wanted Matilda to be just like them: thin and tall.
She couldn’t help but feel like he was ashamed of how she looked,
Which is why he kept her hidden.
Again, if your boyfriend is constantly trying to control your appearance or looks,
Like what you wear and all, it’s such a huge red flag.
Besides, the fact that your boyfriend is attempting to control,
Or alter such a significant aspect of your identity may indicate a lack of regard for you.
If that’s what you’re experiencing, you may need to reevaluate the relationship and whether you should stay in it.
Remember, if he can control and manipulate you,
He won’t respect you.
5. He Avoids PDA
Kristen was dating this guy, Oscar.
He’d often avoid her when they were together in public.
He wouldn’t want to hug her or hold her hands when his friends or people were nearby.
He would refuse to come close to her.
And hardly want to spend time with her in public settings.
PDA – public displays of affection.
Let’s assume your boyfriend takes you out,
But he never holds your hands or even kisses you in public.
Even something seemingly unimportant,
Like him putting his arm around your neck when you’re cold, is a problem.
This is a sign that is difficult to ignore.
The bottom line is:
It’s just another way for him to express that he’s ashamed of you.
He’s embarrassed and doesn’t want to make it obvious,
That you two are dating by kissing you or holding your hands when you’re in public.
My Boyfriend Is Ashamed Of Me: What Can I Do About It?
What to do if someone is ashamed of you.
By now, you’ve probably figured out whether your boyfriend is embarrassed of you,
Or not from the signs listed above.
It could feel like a punch in the gut.
A lot of the women I coach have been there,
And the realization that the man they loved and cared about could be embarrassed of them was sickening.
And it took these women a long time to recover their self-esteem and confidence.
But the good news is that you can openly discuss with your partner if you believe they’re ashamed of you.
Your boyfriend may be projecting to you feelings of shame or guilt that were once projected onto him in childhood.
You should give it a lot of thought before deciding whether or not you want to invest your time and emotions in this guy,
Even if he may never admit it,
But your intuition tells you he’s ashamed of you.
Ultimately, your boyfriend should be able to show you off and be proud of you rather than ashamed of you,
And a respectful and loving relationship should make you the best version of yourself.
The sad fact is that he may be struggling with his insecurities or pressure from friends,
Or even from loved ones to behave a certain way, and he then projects this onto you, too.
Rather than be proud of you,
He’ll do his hardest to isolate you and treat you like you are less, which no one should ever have to go through.
And believe me when I say that the effects this can have on your psychological and emotional well-being aren’t worth it.
Frequently Asked Questions
When Your Boyfriend Feels Embarrassed Of You, What Should You Do?
You should reevaluate your entire relationship if you learn that your boyfriend finds you embarrassing.
Over time, such a relationship will impact your self-worth and lower your self-esteem.
It isn’t worth it.
Is It Possible To Love Someone And Still Feel Ashamed Of Them?
Couples should strive for personal growth since love entails respect and self-worth.
Your boyfriend may only shield you from those who disapprove of your relationship,
But he shouldn’t be ashamed of you.
Love sees the best in people and not the dirt.
So, if someone truly loves you, they would never be ashamed of you.
You can’t be in a relationship where someone is ashamed of you.
You’ll constantly feel insecure.
What Exactly Does It Mean When Someone Is Embarrassed About You?
Anyone who is embarrassed by you doesn’t respect and value you.
It doesn’t reflect well on the relationship if you’re ashamed of the person you claim you love.
They essentially want you to be someone who you’re not.
In that case, you can never completely please them no matter how much you try.
What Are The Telltale Signs That Your Boyfriend Is Sick And Tire Of You?
It’s a sign your boyfriend is tired of with you if he disrespect and takes you for granted.
He constantly nags, points out your fault, criticizes you, and compares you with other women.
Understand that none of these might be your fault.
However, you need to meet someone who makes you feel desired and loved not shatter your self-esteem.
How Do You Know If Your Man Is Ashamed Of You?
See if your boyfriend is ashamed of you by examining our list of the five signs above.
One or two must be present for his behavior to reveal his actual feelings for you; not all of them must be displayed for it to be true.