Joyce sent me a DM recently asking
Should I ask him if he likes me?
Her friends keep telling her, “you just know” whether or not a guy likes you.
But honestly, she doesn’t even know signs that a guy likes you. She’s oblivious.
When she was in college, she discovered that a guy she was interested in liked her all along,
But he didn’t think she was into him because of her “lack of response.”
She thought she made her interest clear enough for him to know she liked him.
Right now, she’s pretty sure one of her male friends is crushing on her.
She’s wondering if there are ways she could just ask him or find out without being awkward.
Now, let me ask you:
Have you ever had a real crush on a guy at work or school but had no idea how he felt about you?
Or you may even have a guy friend you’re starting to develop feelings for.
And you’re unsure how to ask him if likes you without coming across as desperate.
But don’t worry. This article will help you understand how to know if a guy likes you
How To Ask A Guy If He Likes You: 11 Ways To Communicate Your Feelings
1. Pay Close Attention To His Nonverbal Cues
The truth is that he can be sending you nonverbal cues about whether,
Or not he likes you without you even having to ask.
That’s why you have to observe his body language.
Understanding nonverbal cues is one way to tell if a guy likes you
For example:
During your conversations, does he lean towards you?
Try to touch you? Does he laugh at your jokes and smile often?
Does he prioritize seeing you?
During your conversation, does he maintain eye contact?
Perhaps he casually told you he isn’t seeing or dating any woman.
Who knows, this could be his way of expressing interest in dating you.
On the other hand:
Does he maintain his distance and cross his arms?
Is he always seeking out other women to chat with?
If this is the case, he’s probably not interested in you.
And you might as well save yourself the trouble of asking him directly and having him tell you.
2. You Have To Be Confident.
Let me make this clear:
If a guy isn’t into you, that doesn’t mean your life is over.
But to increase your chances of success when discussing how you feel to a guy you like,
You must be self-assured.
In other words, you must adopt the mentality that
“I’m such an amazing person to be with.
And you’d be so lucky to have me in your life.”
Confidence is attractive.
It’s what draws people to you,
Whether you’ve been friends for some time or just getting to know him.
People are attracted to confidence like bees are attracted to honey.
Being confident prevents you from coming off as needy or desperate!
I want you to imagine these scenarios:
Self-confident Jenny: “I enjoy hanging out with you a lot! Although I’m careful with whom I spend my time, we seem to have much in common.
So you’re qualified [wink].
What do you think about taking this to another level – being more than a friend?”
Insecure Judith: “Um…I find it hard to sleep at night because I’m always dreaming about you.
Do you also dream about me?”
Which of them do you believe a guy will find more attractive?
Jenny confidently lets him know that she sees him as special because she thinks he deserves to spend time with her,
Which will only make the guy want to spend even more time with her.
On the other hand, Judith seems needy and clingy. No man wants that.
No matter how much you like a guy,
Don’t let it hurt your ego even if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.
And like I always tell my clients, rejection is no big deal.
It’s merely an opinion. It doesn’t make it true.
I’m trying to say that it doesn’t mean you have a defect (or are not good enough),
If a guy isn’t romantically interested in you.
It simply implies that you aren’t the right fit for him,
And he isn’t the right fit for you, too
I know it can be hard for you to see – especially when you like him.
But he might be searching for something entirely different.
And the fact that you don’t meet those qualities doesn’t make you less of a human being…
Especially if he’s looking at your height, size, nationality etc.
Basically, the things you can’t change about yourself.
See rejection as a tool for learning.
What signs, if any, did he give that you should be aware of going forward?
How can you use that knowledge to become a more self-assured woman?
Maybe you’re thinking, well, I can’t handle rejection.
What should I do?
Honestly, you will constantly be rejected when it comes to putting yourself out there.
3. Show Him You’re Interested.
Why won’t he ask me out if he likes me?
Some women often ask me.
Well, it’s probably because you haven’t given him the green light.
Let’s face it:
Most men are clueless as to whether or not a girl likes them.
And besides, some are afraid of getting rejected and coming across as desperate
That’s why you have to give him the green light.
Maybe he’ll tell you straight up that he likes you without you having to ask!
You may be wondering, but how do I show I’m interested in him?
It’s simple.
Try flirting with him. Make it an effort to spend time with him.
You can also text him.
By the way, how guys text when they like you is different from how they text when they aren’t into you.
So, one way to tell if a guy likes you over text is that he’ll send you flirty messages and try to be funny.
Anyways, dress nicely whenever he’s around you,
To give a guy the green light and show that you’re into him.
And no, I’m not saying you should be bending over backward to impress him.
Just let your feminine magnetism shine through.
If this approach doesn’t attract his attention,
Sometimes, guys can be pretty dumb, then keep reading…
4. Try The Subtle Approach
Wondering how to ask a guy if he likes you without asking?
Well, this approach works.
My guess is that if you’re trying to figure out how to approach a guy,
And ask about his feelings for you,
You may not be all that bold and don’t feel comfortable just saying,
“Hello! I like you! What are you going to do about it?”
So, try asking him in a subtle way instead of pushing yourself that far.
How?
Suggest you spend time together.
Then, when you are alone, and he feels relaxed,
Tell him that you like him (but keep it light).
Tell him what you like in particular. For example:
“Thank you for being such a great help to me.”
“We get along really great.” “And I believe we have amazing chemistry.”
This kind of conversation must be face-to-face so you can observe his response.
Chances are he would startle a bit. So better be prepared for that.
That does not imply that he doesn’t feel the same way about you.
Maybe he didn’t know how to tell you himself.
However, there is a chance that this discussion could go either way,
So be ready for whatever response he gives.
How will you approach the situation if he wants to keep being friends?
Your self-esteem may have taken a hit,
And it can take some time for you to recover from the disappointment.
5. Be Vulnerable
Sharing your feelings is a vulnerable act,
But it can be really important in this instance.
Some people find it absurdly difficult to express their emotions,
Especially before they know how the other person feels.
You might have to open up first if this person is so terrified.
By doing this, you demonstrate to them your willingness to be open and vulnerable and establish your credibility in their eyes,
Giving them more reason to feel comfortable expressing their emotions.
6. Let Him Know Your Observations
Consider mentioning your observations when finding out if he likes you.
Let him know that certain of his actions make you feel he likes you.
Maybe the way he looks at you, flirt with you,
Touch you or want to spend time with you.
Whatever your observations are…
By doing this, he can explain things regardless of their response.
And by explaining how you arrived at this,
Wouldn’t make it seem like you are assuming.
7. Ask Him Directly
Try a more straightforward approach if being subtle isn’t your thing.
Smile and playfully ask him:
“Have you recently been crushing on me?”
Or you could be more serious:
“Are you interested in me?” or “Are you starting to develop feelings for me?”
It doesn’t have to be awkward.
It all depends on how you ask; if you do it with a smile and confident body language,
He’ll understand that you just wanted to know where things are going.
Beating around the bush doesn’t make sense—no point in doing that.
But being direct about it demonstrates your confidence and boldness.
It means going after what you desire is no problem for you.
Although it can come as a surprise and a little startling but it works.
8. Text Him How You Feel
Here’s how to ask a guy if he likes you over text
Texting is an option you can always take if all else fails,
Or you are too terrified to approach the guy in person to ask whether he likes you.
Now, this approach is not the most romantic thing ever because it gives his imagination a lot of room to go wild.
But it works.
Texting a guy to ask whether he likes you should be your last resort.
Though it seems simpler since you may use technology to hide your fear of rejection or embarrassment,
It raises too many questions.
9. Stay Calm
Keep your emotions under control.
I know it’s a vulnerable moment to let your feelings about someone out,
And it has the power to alter things, but take a deep breath.
This is a brief moment, regardless of how you ask or what he says in return.
Your life is not defined by it.
Try to maintain your composure while speaking with this guy,
You can celebrate or cry later, if necessary. Concentrate on your goal of asking him.
Move on and let him respond when he’s ready.
10. Appreciate Him For Being Honest
This is huge…
Because our true self is revealed more when we don’t get what we want.
When you ask a guy if he likes you,
Your response can make or break the situation.
If you act strange and defensive when he says he doesn’t like you that way,
You risk embarrassing yourself.
Your best bet in this situation is to own your feelings and be respectful.
I know that getting rejected makes it seems you aren’t good enough,
It crushes your ego and your real sense of self.
You don’t want to act in a way that damages a friendship or causes your group of friends to gossip about you and believe you’re a jerk.
Simply let him know that you appreciate his honesty, value your friendship,
And would love to remain friends, if that’s fine.
11. If He Says ‘Yes,’ Make Sure He Reciprocates Your Effort
Here’s what I mean:
It’s very easy to overlook a guy’s response while attempting to ask him whether he likes you.
But as a confident woman, it’s crucial to ensure your feelings are reciprocated.
You’ve to avoid chasing him, being too accessible, and losing yourself.
Yea, I know you’re the one who made the first move,
And you’re eager to go from being ‘just friends’ to something more,
But you deserve to be with a guy who pursues you and treats you like the high-value woman that you are.
So, to ensure that he is as excited about being with you as you are about him,
Pay attention to the signs that reciprocate your effort and feelings.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do I Ask A Guy If He Likes Me Indirectly?
The thing is that people, in general, are often reluctant about confessing their true feelings majorly because of the fear of rejection.
I understand.
So, you can use the subtle approach. See point #4 I outlined above.
How Do I Ask A Guy About His Feelings For Me Through Text?
First off, you must observe his behavior when texting you.
Does he flirt with you? Does he compliment you?
Does he make fun of you (in a playful and teasing way, though)?
If he did, congratulations! The first step has been completed.
Secondly, did you show him the green light?
If so, did he notice? Did he ignore it or give you a hint in return?
And if he gave any hints, the next phase is done.
Lastly, how frequently does he text you?
Or does he ignore your texts or leave them on read?
If he texts you frequently, there’s a high chance he likes you.
Then apply the things I share in this article to ask if he likes you or not.
Is There A Way I Can Get Him To Tell Me How He Feels About Me Without Directly Asking That Question Or Seeming Needy Or Pushy?
Let’s face it:
Trying to avoid the hard conversations in dating doesn’t help.
You can’t read a person’s mind to know how he feels about you.
You can’t assume either.
But there’s a way to communicate your standards without appearing desperate, pushy, or needy.
For example, you could say:
“Larry (whatever his name is), I really like you, and I find you attractive.
I also enjoy spending time with you because you’re an interesting guy.
And even though I’d love to keep seeing and spending time with you,
I don’t really know how you feel about me and what you want.
I’m curious. How do you feel about me?”
There’s nothing needy or desperate about how I structured that statement.
You can try that out.