boyfriend doesn't plan dates

My Boyfriend Never Takes Me Out (5 Weird Reasons)

My Boyfriend Never Takes Me Out; I understand because I was once like that.

You have a boyfriend, and you’ve been together for some time.

One thing you’ve noticed is that he has never taken you out since you started dating.

When you visit him, you guys stay in the house all day watching TV or scrolling through social media to kill boredom.

Even when there’s a celebration like birthdays or valentine’s day that you should go out and celebrate, your boyfriend insists on celebrating at home.

I know it’s frustrating that your boyfriend never takes you out.

I used to be like him. I didn’t see any need to g out when we could have a great time indoors.

But as time passed, I realized that going on an outing adds an extra spice to your relationship.

Every outing makes the relationship look brand new and rekindles the feelings of love you have for each other.

Of course, it gives you both something to discuss after the outing.

Many guys don’t see the need for an outing; they feel it’s unnecessary stress that you can avoid.

In this article, I will share unique techniques that you can use to get your boyfriend to change from a guy who never goes out to a guy who schedules dates with you every weekend.

But first, we need to understand why he acts that way

If you are ready, let’s dive in.

My Boyfriend Never Takes Me Out: Why He Avoids Taking You Out

1. He’s Not The Outing Type

My Boyfriend Never Takes Me Out

There are guys like that; I used to be one of them. But I had to work on myself.

Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t like going out. Scheduled dates seem like a burden to him.

He would tell you

“I love you. Why can’t we stay at home and have a good time? Must we go out”

Is it even necessary to go out? I don’t feel like going out.

He always has excuses anytime you bring up the issue of going out on dates and having fun.

Guys who have always been used to being at home or alone are guilty of this crime.

Guys like that often lack the motivation to go out on a date,

Setting up an outing requires effort, which is what the guy who doesn’t like outings doesn’t want to put in.

Instead, he would want to stay at home with you and give you all his attention rather than go out on a date.

2. He’s Broke

Going on outings requires money, and a broke guy doesn’t want to spend all his money because he wants to keep going on dates to make you happy.

Restaurants are expensive these days; even gas is costly.

Your guy might avoid going out on dates because he doesn’t have the financial capacity to make it happen consistently.

And again, maybe he’s afraid you would invite your friends to hang out with you, which would require him to spend more money.

Some years ago, when I was broke, I couldn’t take my ex-girlfriend on a date for the three years the relationship lasted.

Because I couldn’t afford it and always thought within myself that we could use the money for something better.

If he’s always quiet anytime you bring up going on dates, this could be the reason.

3. He’s Used To Seeing You Around.

We often take for granted what is always available.

Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t see the need to take you out because you are always with him and always by his side.

If you visit him daily, there would hardly be any motivation on his part to take you out.

It’s how human psychology works; we value what is not readily available.

Your boyfriend will likely take the offer if he knows he wouldn’t see you all week unless he meets you for a date.

4. He Tired Of The Relationship.

my boyfriend never takes me out but goes out with his friends

When a guy is tired of a relationship, he won’t put in much effort to ensure it works.

He would put in less effort because he’s already tired.

The relationship now looks like a burden or a duty to him.

When a guy is tired of the relationship, he can leave you at home and go on a date with another lady.

But when it comes to taking you out on a date, he starts giving excuses or can even try to cause a fight to avoid the issue.

These are subtle signs that he’s tired of the relationship and may leave soon.

5. He Has Low Self-Esteem Or Is Shy.

Guys who are shy and lack self-esteem avoid going out like a plague.

The mere mention of going on a date can freak him out and instantly change his mood.

It’s possible your boyfriend has low self-esteem and finds it hard to be in the midst of others.

His heart can start beating fast when you insist you must take him out on a date.

He can immediately say he’s not feeling well because his temperature can rise suddenly because of an outing.

A shy guy would do anything to avoid outings and is comfortable watching movies with you all day at home.

My Boyfriend Never Takes Me Out: How To Handle It

6. Talk To Him About It

Most ladies prefer to be silent about issues like this and slowly resent their boyfriends for not taking them out on dates.

But that’s not the best approach; instead, talk to him about it.

Let him know you want to go on dates and other exciting adventures.

He should know you don’t like sitting at home watching movies or playing with your phone every time.

It would help if you had something to talk about, and you can quickly get that by going on dates.

Without dates, the relationship can get boring fast, which can tempt you if another exciting guy comes along.

Please tell him exactly how you feel about the situation and not try to cover up and act like everything is fine.

He should know you want to go outing, even if it’s a cheap restaurant down the street or take a walk to the park,

Anything that doesn’t involve staying at home and watching one stupid movie you’ve watched before just because you are bored.

7. Take Him Out On Dates.

boyfriend doesn't plan dates

Since he doesn’t like to go on dates, you can take him out on a date.

People often treat us the way we treat ourselves.

If your boyfriend should notice you like going on an outing, he will make plans to surprise you from time to time.

Taking him out on dates would activate his desire to reciprocate by taking you on dates too.

What if he doesn’t want to go?

Then offer him an incentive for going; you can say something like

“I want to take you on an adventurous date, and if you agree, I will go watch football with you.”

Ensure you offer him something he has always wanted you to do together.

8. Plan & Stick With An Outing Schedule

If your boyfriend is someone that doesn’t like going on an outing, you can organize an outing schedule for both of you.

Something like we would go on restaurant dates once a month, movies twice a month, and hiking or anything else.

A plan like that would create expectations and make the relationship exciting.

You can be the one who keeps a record of the schedule and remind your boyfriend of the upcoming events.

9. Organize Group Dates

Group dates are powerful and can help compel your boyfriend to go out even if he doesn’t want to.

When you have agreed on a group date with friends, it would be difficult for your boyfriend not to show up.

Everyone wants a positive image among their friends, and group dates might be the answer to get your boyfriend to take you out before going on personal dates.

Get some of your friends and his friends and organize a group date, then inform your boyfriend about it, including everyone who would be there.

The research done by psychologist Solomon Asch in the 1950s discovered that the group a person is a part of can easily influence their opinion.

If the people he’s acquainted with are going on the group date, he would likely go too.

Frequently Asked Questions

My Boyfriend Never Takes Me Out On Dates. All We Do Is Stay Home And Watch TV, And Even Then, He’s Always On His Phone. What Should I Do?

Haha, I can relate to this. I was once like your guy.

My girlfriend and I would sit at home whenever she came and watch TV. When bored, we would turn to social media.

She told me she was tired and wanted us to go out and have fun.

What Can You Do About It?

Talk to him about it: it’s possible he’s not the outing type or prefers to stay at home. That’s why you should talk to him about it.

Let him know you want him to take you out, and it’s something that would make you excited about the relationship.

He should know you are bored with always being at home and watching TV whenever you visit him.

Take him out: if he doesn’t take you out, you should take him out to have fun.

It would make him realize you are serious and want to go out.

When you take him out, let him know you love outings and expect him to take you out occasionally.

My Boyfriend Never Takes Me Out But Goes Out With His Friends. What Should I Do?

It could mean a few things such as:

1. He’s embarrassed to take you out

2. He doesn’t care about you or how you feel

3. He’s hiding the relationship from his friends

4. He’s complacent and taking the relationship for granted.

Why Doesn’t My Boyfriend Take Me Out On Nice Dates? We’ve Been Together For 5 Years.

Maybe it’s because he doesn’t know he needs to take you out on dates.

He might feel it’s unimportant to you since you haven’t addressed the issue.

If you want him to start taking you to dates,

Let him know and say it in a way that wouldn’t make it seem you are blaming him for not going out for five years.

If he’s still hesitating, then take him out on a date. Maybe he’s shy.

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