I understand how it feels for someone you love to owe you money but doesn’t want to repay it.
I’m not too fond of such behavior. My close friends know I don’t joke with my integrity.
I also borrow money from my girlfriend occasionally, but I have a reputation for paying back and adding something extra for the road.
You might be wondering how to collect your money without destroying the relationship.
In this article, I will share why he doesn’t want to pay what he owes and how to make him pay ASAP.
If you’re ready, let’s dive in.
My Boyfriend Owes Me Money: Why He Acts That Way
1. He’s Using You
A guy using you for money would keep borrowing money from you without paying.
Some guys would make you fall in love and gradually ask you to lend them money.
Many women have gotten into huge debt because they keep giving money to their boyfriends in the name of love.
If your boyfriend only cares about collecting money from you and gets angry when you don’t give it to him, it means he’s using you for money.
If you notice he only becomes loving and caring when he needs to borrow money from you, it means he’s using you.
2. He’s Broke
A broke guy would likely keep borrowing money from you, and it would be worse if he has no job.
He might even have a job, but his income is low, making him borrow to meet expenses.
Such a guy would find it hard to repay what he owes you.
Even if he intends to pay, he won’t be able to because of the current state of his finances.
3. He Doesn’t Want To Pay
Some people love to borrow money and not pay, and your boyfriend could be one of them.
I have such a friend; he loves to borrow and not pay and likes being in debt.
If he borrows money from you, he won’t pay until you ask him. It might cause a fight before he would finally pay you.
If your boyfriend owes other people apart from you, it means he enjoys borrowing without paying back.
Asking such a guy for your money can easily cause tension in the relationship.
4. He’s Spending It On Someone Else.
He may keep asking you for money because he’s spending it on another woman.
He might promise to pay back, which doesn’t happen.
You might be surprised he’s cheating on you and borrowing from you to give to the other woman.
Your boyfriend might have discovered he can borrow money from you without repaying, and you won’t complain.
So he keeps borrowing, possibly to spend it on another woman.
5. He Lacks Integrity
A guy who keeps borrowing money from you without paying back lacks integrity and can’t be trusted.
One of the most important qualities you need in a man is integrity; if he doesn’t have it, you’re in trouble.
A man who doesn’t want to pay you what he owes can put you in a financial mess.
A man who cares about you would also care about your finances and won’t want to put you in a situation where you struggle financially.
6. He Thinks You Don’t Need The Money
That’s because you keep lending him money.
If you lend him money anytime he needs it, he might believe you have no use for the money. Hence, you’re giving it to him.
He won’t want to repay it because he thinks it’s free money.
You might not have even asked him about the money because you believe he ought to know he should pay back.
While your boyfriend, on the other hand, feels you don’t need the money.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Owes You Money?
7. Avoid Resentment
If your boyfriend owes you money and doesn’t want to repay, it can easily make you resent him.
Money issues can easily cause resentment in a relationship.
You have to try and avoid resentment because it could make you angry at the slightest provocation.
The most annoying part is if he doesn’t even talk about the money.
He might even be acting like he doesn’t owe you any money. In such a case, it might be difficult for you not to resent him.
8. Communicate Openly
Rather than resenting him for not paying back your money, tell him.
Many women are afraid of having difficult conversations in a relationship because they are afraid of conflict.
You shouldn’t be one of them.
Having such a discussion with him about what he owes can strain the relationship, but it’s better than resenting him.
I know you’re trying to avoid a fight with him because of money, but the truth is it’s inevitable.
Let your boyfriend know you’re not happy that he’s yet to pay the money he took from you.
Pour out your heart and explain your financial situation so he’s aware you’re not giving free money. You need the money, too.
9. Listen To His Perspective
Allow your boyfriend to explain his side of the story. There might be valid reasons for the delay in repayment that you may need to be made aware of.
He might genuinely want to repay you but doesn’t have the means at the moment, but you might never know until you listen to him.
If your boyfriend is having financial difficulty, you need to be patient for him to get his finances together and repay you.
Explore potential solutions collaboratively. Discuss a realistic repayment plan that considers both of your financial situations.
Be open to negotiation and flexibility, keeping in mind the financial constraints he may be facing.
10. Stop Lending Him Money
If he still doesn’t pay what he owes you after applying all the tips listed above, you should stop lending him money.
He won’t change and doesn’t seem to care about you.
A man who loves you would be worried about your financial future.
But a guy using you for money doesn’t care if you get into debt because you’re trying to help him financially.
If he doesn’t put in effort to repay what he already owes you, then you should make it clear he shouldn’t ask for money again.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do You Tell My Boyfriend He Owes Me Money?
Tell him, “Babe I need my money back when will I get it.”
There’s no special way to tell your boyfriend to pay what he owes you.
You might not get your money back if you fear it would hurt his feelings.
When you loan money to someone you’re dating, there’s a high chance you won’t get the money back and will lose the relationship, too.
You have to be straightforward and tell him you urgently need your money.
Even if it ruins the relationship, it’s better to be single than be with a guy who keeps collecting money from you without paying back.
How Do I Get My Boyfriend To Pay Me Back?
Tell him directly you need your money.
Stop giving him money until he pays what he owes
Ask him about your money often
Should I End A Relationship If My Boyfriend Owes Me?
If your boyfriend keeps collecting money from you without paying it back, he lacks integrity.
A guy who lacks integrity is a disaster waiting to happen.
Such guys don’t care if they need to hurt someone to get what they want.
If your boyfriend doesn’t want to pay what he owes you and even starts resenting you, it’s time to leave.