You have a boyfriend, but you are tired of the relationship.
You want to quit, but he won’t let you go.
Anytime you tell him it’s over, he would cry and beg until you change your mind.
He could even send his friends to beg on his behalf.
Then you would forgive him, and he would start acting the same way that made you decide to quit.
The cycle repeats itself; you tell him you want to leave, he starts begging, and you continue the relationship even though you are tired.
In this article, I share strategies you can use for a guy who won’t let you go.
But first, why is he acting this way?
My Boyfriend Won’t Let Me Break Up With Him: Why He Acts That Way
1. He Thinks You Are Not Serious About Leaving
Most men have been taught not to believe the words of women.
Guys say it among themselves that a woman’s No means the opposite.
Some men do not take women’s decisions seriously because they believe you can easily convince a woman to change her mind.
If you notice when you tell your boyfriend that you want to quit and he laughs loud and says something like “are you serious,” that’s proof he doesn’t take you seriously.
If your boyfriend thinks you are not serious about quitting the relationship,
He won’t easily let you go; he will try and manipulate you to change your mind.
Your boyfriend could also be acting this way if he believes you can never leave him no matter what he does.
2. There’s Something He’s Getting From You
Some people stay in relationships for what they can get, not because they are in love.
Your boyfriend might refuse to let you go because he’s getting something from you.
He could be using you financially, he lives in your apartment for free, you help him take care of his bills, or he uses you to quench his sexual urges.
If you’ve noticed your boyfriend gets mad anytime you deny him something, that might be why he wants you around.
Observe your boyfriend and discover why he doesn’t want to let you go.
Sometimes the answer is in front of you.
3. He Feels He Has You Under Control
A guy who has always controlled you in the relationship would hardly take your opinion or decisions seriously.
If he has always been the one who decides who you hang out with, what you wear, or tells you not to visit your family,
Then he wouldn’t listen if you tell him you want to quit.
He can even yell at you not to disturb him with such matters because he believes you are not going anywhere.
Controlling men makes it look like the world revolves around them, and your decision doesn’t matter.
If your boyfriend gets mad at you at the slightest opportunity or is controlling, he would likely ignore your decision to leave.
Such men can come to your house daily to intimidate you or pretend that the relationship is still intact even when you’ve told him it’s over.
4. He’s Obsessed With You
If your boyfriend is obsessed with you, he might be violent if you insist you want to quit the relationship.
Obsession and violence most times go together.
If your boyfriend had shown traits of violence when you told him you wanted to quit, that’s a sign he’s obsessed with you.
If a guy is obsessed with you, he could go to any length to make you stay in the relationship, including threatening your life.
So many women have lost their lives in the hands of men that were obsessed with them,
They called it love, but with time, it was apparent it was an obsession.
A guy obsessed with you doesn’t want you to ever be with someone else.
If your boyfriend has ever told you if you leave him, he will end his life, or if he threatens you that if you are not with him,
You can’t be with someone else, then he’s obsessed, and you have to be careful.
My Boyfriend Won’t Let Me Break Up With Him: How To Handle The Situation
5. Break Up With Him Officially
If you haven’t gathered enough courage to tell him officially, he might not take you seriously.
Please don’t assume you have ended the relationship with your boyfriend without officially telling him.
Acting weird for him to get the message won’t work because he can decide to ignore you.
If you are afraid to tell him officially, you are not ready to break up with him.
Be firm in your decision this time, and don’t allow him to manipulate you into continuing the relationship.
You can go live with your friends and family for some time to gain emotional support and help you strengthen your decision to quit the relationship.
6. Put Safety Measures In Place
It’s essential to put safety measures in place if you want to break up with him officially.
You can invite him to an open place like a restaurant and then tell him you don’t want the relationship anymore.
Please don’t go anywhere else with him after the official breakup for safety reasons.
A guy obsessed with you can cause harm if he can’t manipulate you to change your mind.
Even after you break up, ensure you live some time away from your apartment and if he tries to harass you in public, call the police.
Please put strict measures in place for your safety and to let him know you are serious about breaking up.
7. Obey The No Contact Rule
Obey the no-contact rule even after breaking up officially with your guy.
What is the no-contact rule?
A rule says you shouldn’t contact your ex for at least 30 days.
The rule has been accepted widely as one of the most effective ways to get over an ex.
During the no-contact rule, you shouldn’t contact your ex, and you shouldn’t allow him to contact you.
You must ensure he can’t reach you on social media or phone.
The no-contact period would give you the time to think about your decision to quit the relationship
And further give you the strength to move on if you believe you made the right choice.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do You Break Up With Your Boyfriend When He Won’t Let You Go?
Ask for some space: you should ask for space to think and clear your head.
Use the time apart to think and evaluate the relationship, then decide if you still want to stay.
Once you’ve decided you want to leave, it’s time to take the following actions below:
Tell him and be firm about it: typically, he would think it’s a joke and try to ignore you.
But if you are firm and make him know you are serious about leaving, he might start begging and crying.
You must be firm and resolute in your decision to leave him.
It might even make you look wicked because he would beg and cry, but that shouldn’t deter you from quitting.
He might promise he would change, which I believe you’ve heard a thousand times by now.
Cut ties with him: after you’ve officially announced it’s over, it should be genuinely over, not just in words but in action.
You shouldn’t tell him it’s over and still call, text, and hang out with him; he wouldn’t take you seriously.
You have to cut ties with him for a while.
Avoid communicating with him on any channel.
Except you have a baby together, the conversation should be about the baby.
The no contact rule is one of the most effective techniques to get over an ex that won’t let you go.
Get support from friends and family: when you break up with a guy that won’t let you go, there’s a high chance you are in danger.
If your boyfriend is possessive, he can do anything to hurt you for leaving him.
That’s why you should take a vacation from where you live and stay with friends and family for some time.
How Do I Get The Courage To Breakup With My Boyfriend?
Find out why you want to quit: find out why you want to leave your boyfriend.
Is it for your interest, or there’s something he’s doing that hurts you?
Have you told him what he’s doing that hurt you?
Do you have a valid reason why you want to quit?
These are the things you need to find out first before you decide to quit.
Build your self-esteem: low self-esteem could be why you lack the courage to let him go.
You might feel not good enough and that nobody would want you; it’s not true.
You might think that if you let him go, you won’t find someone else, which would make you remain in a toxic relationship.
If you stick to the wrong guy, you won’t find the right guy.