Why did he cheat on me? If that has been the question on your mind after you caught him cheating this article is for you.
But first let me share a true life story.
It was a Friday morning when I set out to visit my girlfriend (Tracy) in another city; before the visit, she was already acting weird.
I wanted to surprise her and discuss our relationship’s future.
I arrived at her apartment, and she wasn’t home. I tried calling her, but she didn’t pick up; I didn’t know what to do than to go back home.
By sheer luck, I met Tracy’s friend (Sophia) when I came out of the apartment,
I asked her about my girlfriend, and she responded, “have you called harry she would be with him.”
You might be asking who the heck Harry is.
I knew Harry and my girlfriend were friends. I didn’t suspect they had anything going on.
I told Sophia that I didn’t have his number. She then decided to call Harry with her phone, but he didn’t pick up.
I spoke to Sophia from my heart and told her to tell me what was going on as my girlfriend was acting weird.
After much persuasion, Sophia told me my girlfriend was dating Harry, although she claimed they were friends.
That information broke me to pieces; Sophia said she wanted me to confirm it myself and gave directions to Harry’s apartment; when I got there, I saw my girlfriend in a nightgown.
They were not only dating; they were living like a couple that was how our relationship ended.
If you are wondering why he cheated on you, this article is for you.
If you are ready, let’s get started.
Why Did He Cheat On Me: 11 Shocking Reasons Why?
1. Resentment Due To Lack Of Communication
It was the major reason why my ex-girlfriend started cheating on me.
She was resenting me because I didn’t visit her often, although she didn’t tell me.
I thought we had great communication, but I was wrong.
I didn’t know she was hurt that I didn’t visit often, which allowed her to fall for the other guy.
If certain things you did hurt your boyfriend but he didn’t tell you, he would soon start resenting you.
At that point, anything you do would make him angry, and he would be emotionally unavailable because of resentment.
Maybe your boyfriend cheated because he was resenting you and didn’t know how to express it.
After I caught my ex cheating, she told me everything I did wrong. She even said I was the cause.
2. Lack Of Discipline
It takes a lot of discipline and self-love for a man to be faithful to you.
I am not trying to defend men though it’s harder for men to stay faithful than women.
If your boyfriend lacks discipline, he will easily go after any lady he desires.
Generally, cheating the first time is the hardest part.
If your boyfriend has been cheating in his previous relationship, it means he lacks discipline and would cheat on you too.
3. The Opportunity Came
There are a lot of guys that are faithful to their girlfriends because they’ve not had the opportunity to cheat.
Maybe your boyfriend cheated on you because the opportunity came, or he was tempted and couldn’t resist it.
Some guys haven’t experienced when a girl is trying to seduce them.
When that happens, it throws many guys off balance, making them easily cheat on you.
Some guys are faithful until they meet a seductive lady who allows them to cheat.
That may be why your man cheated on you.
4. He Got Bored
Men get bored easily, and when they do, they want to explore new adventures.
The adventure could be cheating on you with another woman or having a romantic dinner with someone else.
Maybe your relationship has become predictable, which might be why he got bored and started seeking other means of pleasure.
Or you’re okay with the relationship routine and don’t like going out to have fun; you might be someone who loves to be indoors, which might have been boring for him.
5. He Has Low Self-Esteem
Most guys with low self-esteem cheat to boost their ego.
Cheating makes some guys feel they can get any woman they want, which gives them the validation that they are worth something.
Maybe your boyfriend cheated on you to prove he’s hot, and many women want him.
He may want you to feel lucky for dating him.
Guys with low self-esteem hardly stop cheating without professional help.
6. He’s Addicted To Cheating
Maybe your boyfriend is a player who has been cheating for a long time and is now addicted to it.
He doesn’t even see anything wrong with it. He might tell you he can’t help himself.
Possibly he started dealing with women sexually in his childhood, or he got abused at a tender age, and he’s now addicted to cheating.
The moment he sees any woman, he can’t help but want to be intimate with her.
Such behavior might be due to his addiction to women.
7. He Was Seeking Revenge
Maybe you cheated on him in the past, and he cheated as a way of revenge.
Men hardly forgive cheating and would often find a way to get revenge.
He might have acted like he forgave you but already planned how he would hurt you.
Reminds me of a friend of mine who cheated on his girlfriend because she cheated first; although I felt it wasn’t worth it, he still did it anyway.
8. He Has A Problem With Commitment
Guys who have issues with commitment cheat for fun.
Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t have any long-term plans for the relationship
Or his goal for being in the relationship was to sleep with you and ghost you.
For some guys committing to one woman is like putting them in prison; they want to be able to be in a relationship without commitment.
9. He Believes It’s Okay To Cheat
Some guys believe it’s okay for guys to cheat; in fact, they might tell you a guy that doesn’t cheat is boring.
To some guys, a man was created to cheat, and cheating is not an offense.
A guy with such a mindset would hardly change because he doesn’t see anything wrong with it.
Maybe your boyfriend was raised to believe that cheating on a woman makes her respect and fight for his love.
10. He Felt Unappreciated
If a guy feels he’s not appreciated by the woman he loves, it can drive him into the arms of another woman.
Maybe he felt undervalued, or you didn’t appreciate his efforts to make you happy.
Men, most times, don’t need much to feel appreciated, a little gesture such as saying;
“Thank you, I appreciate” or sending him a thank you message when he didn’t expect it.
Your boyfriend might have cheated on you because you took him for granted, and he got tired of trying to please you.
You might have felt your love for him was enough, but most times, that’s not enough. He might have felt lonely despite being in a relationship.
11. He Doesn’t Respect You
A guy that doesn’t respect you would keep cheating on you; he might not even care if you find out.
If your boyfriend acts like you don’t mean anything to him, he might cheat without being afraid.
Sometimes a guy cheating on you is a sign he’s no longer interested in the relationship.
A guy who doesn’t respect you would cheat on you with multiple women and ignore you if you complain.
What To Do If Your Boyfriend Cheated On You
If your boyfriend cheated on you, below is a three-step formula to handle the situation.
12. Forgive
The first thing to do if your boyfriend cheats on you is to forgive him. It doesn’t mean you will be together.
Forgiving him would help you heal faster emotionally, and if you start a new relationship, you wouldn’t be paranoid.
Forgiveness is needed to help you move forward from the cheating incident and put you in the right state of mind to have a serious discussion with him.
13. Decide
It’s the stage where you decide if you would forgive and stay with him or quit the relationship.
The choice is yours because you know what you want and how you want to be treated by a guy.
You should decide based on what you want, not because he kept apologizing.
14. Act
It’s the stage where you act on what you’ve decided.
If you decide to stay, it’s time to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship,
But if you decide to leave, ensure you get over your ex and how he hurt you before dating someone else.
Your boyfriend cheating on you means he was already prepared for the consequences.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can He Cheat On You And Still Love You?
Although many people believe a man can love you and still cheat on you, I beg to differ.
Cheating means your man is no longer satisfied with you.
Most people believe love is about “feelings,” but love also means discipline to stick to your relationship commitment.
Love without discipline is meaningless.
A man that genuinely loves you won’t cheat on you because he knows it would hurt you.
When A Man Cheats, What Do You Do?
Take time to heal (request for space if you need it)
Try and forgive him
Decide if you want to continue the relationship
Seek support from friends and family if you decide to break up with him
If you opt to stay with him, give the relationship time to heal
How Do You Know If He Really Regrets Cheating?
If a guy is remorseful for cheating, he will be more transparent with you.
He won’t want to keep secrets or hide his phone from you.
But the ultimate sign that a way regrets cheating is that he doesn’t do it again.