My boyfriend resents me if you’re in such a situation this article is for you.
It’s sad you’re in a relationship with someone who resents you.
For you to notice, it means he has done many hurtful things to you.
Resentment is not easy to detect, especially from a guy you love.
You might observe that he’s cold and distant, but you won’t know what’s wrong with him.
His attitude would often get worse because resentment grows with time. At a point, resentment can turn into hatred, making him treat you badly.
He would yell at you for any reason and say things that would make you sad.
That’s because he doesn’t care about your feelings due to the resentment in his heart.
In this article, I will share the possible reasons why your boyfriend resents you and what you can do to turn it around.
If you’re ready, let’s dive in.
Why Does My Boyfriend Resent Me?
1. You Cheated On Him
A guy finding out you cheated on him is often the major reason for resentment.
Maybe your boyfriend found out you cheated on him, and although you’ve apologized, he’s yet to let it go.
Men hardly forgive cheating; even if they claim they’ve forgiven you, they will still resent you.
That incident would linger in their hearts for a long time, and they would treat you badly because of it.
No matter how much you apologize, the anger will always be in his heart.
He will resent you more if you cheated on him with someone he knows or warned you about, but you didn’t listen.
2. You Are Repeating Your Mistakes
Nothing frustrates a man like dating a woman who keeps repeating her mistakes.
It can make a man get tired and resent you.
For instance, if you repeatedly lend money to your friends despite your boyfriend’s warning that it’s a bad idea and those friends fail to repay you,
It can make your boyfriend feel you don’t listen to him and start resenting you.
It’s the same thing if he warned you about a guy, and you didn’t listen but cheated on him with the same guy.
If your boyfriend was complaining in the past that you keep repeating your mistakes, he might have decided to be silent about it and resent you instead.
3. He’s Feeling Unappreciated
Another important thing that can make your boyfriend resent you is when he’s feeling unappreciated in the relationship despite his efforts.
A lack of appreciation can make a man start resenting you fast.
If your boyfriend keeps doing his best to make you happy and he feels you’re not grateful for it, his drive to please you might be affected, making him resent you.
Appreciation is like fuel for a man; it makes him go the extra mile for you.
Men are always happy when they are appreciated. It makes what they do for you seem like nothing.
4. You’re Trying To Change Him
Men don’t like women who want to change them into what they are not.
A woman who says, “Don’t wear this dress, I don’t like your outfit, change your shoes.”
If you’re one of such women, it might be why your boyfriend is resenting you.
A man wants to do what he wants without you supervising him like his mom.
You may have been trying to make him dress in a specific way or do things the way you want.
Such actions can make a man resent you because he doesn’t have the freedom to be himself.
He might even cheat on you when he meets a woman who allows him to be himself without judgment.
5. Unresolved Conflicts
If you’ve had any conflict with him recently, it might be why he’s resenting you, especially if the conflicts keep reoccurring despite previous resolutions.
He might resent you because you didnt give him what he wants, and he’s angry.
Maybe he keeps asking you for money, and you’ve decided not to give him or caught him cheating, and he’s trying to avoid the conversation by resenting you.
6. He Feels You Don’t Care About Him
Your boyfriend might resent you because he thinks you don’t care about him.
For men, perception is reality.
What men perceive is what they believe, even if you say otherwise.
If he thinks you don’t love him and you’re with him because of his money or fame, that’s his reality.
If your boyfriend has ever told you, “It seems you don’t care about me,” it might be why he’s resenting you.
It hurts a man when the woman he loves does not care much about him.
The pain of feeling betrayed might put him in a revenge mood and make him resent you.
My Boyfriend Resents Me: How To Handle The Situation
7. Inspire Him To Communicate
It’s the most difficult part of tackling your boyfriend who resents you.
Getting a man to talk is hard because men have been taught to internalize things.
A man is wired to believe you know what to do, and if you do the opposite, he will keep quiet and silently start resenting you.
He might have told you a few times that he doesn’t like what you’re doing, but you might have ignored him.
If a man tells you what you’re doing wrong, listen to him the first time because he might shut down and say nothing afterward.
Many women have destroyed their promising relationships by being too complacent and ignoring their man even when he complained until things got out of hand.
If you want to get a man to communicate when he’s resenting you, try any of the methods below:
Method 1: Direct Confrontation
In this method, you let him know he’s resenting you and tell him you would appreciate it if he would tell you the problem.
Try not to be confrontational because it would likely make him shut down and say nothing.
Sit down with him and tell him you’re ready to listen to everything he says without judging him.
Method 2: Trigger His Hero Instinct
The hero instinct is a natural drive in men that makes them want to be heroes in the lives of those they love.
If your boyfriend genuinely loves you but resents you, you can trigger his hero instinct and make him open up to you.
You might be wondering, “How do I trigger it?”
You can trigger his hero instinct by asking for help and appreciating him when he does what you ask.
Appreciating your boyfriend would make him tell you why he’s resenting you.
You can ask him to help you carry furniture in your apartment because you need his muscles.
Or you can ask him to drive you to work and appreciate him for it.
Keep asking him for little favors with lots of appreciation, and he will soon open up to you.
To learn more about the concept of the hero instinct, you can check out his secret obsession program.
8. Actively Listen To Him
When you finally get him to talk, you should listen attentively.
Actively listen to his perspective without interrupting or becoming defensive.
Allow him to express his feelings without judgment.
You can only deal with his negative feelings when you fully understand what’s happening with him.
9. Validate His Feelings
After you’ve listened to him, don’t dismiss his feelings like it’s unimportant or what he said didn’t make sense; instead, acknowledge his opinion even if it’s difficult to hear.
Let him know you value his feelings and you’re willing to work with him to resolve any issue causing resentment.
10. Avoid Blame And Accusations
Instead of blaming each other for the issue, focus on the behavior that led to the resentment.
If you did something to hurt him, then apologize.
If you keep repeating your mistakes and it’s driving him crazy, try to find a solution or sign up for therapy.
Most importantly, let your boyfriend know you’re putting effort into being better in the relationship.
A man wants to see you put in effort, and he would be there to support you.
But if your boyfriend is resenting you because you didn’t compromise your standards or don’t want to give him money,
Then you should think about the relationship’s future.
11. Give It Time
Your boyfriend’s healing from resentment will take time, so you have to be patient.
You can even take a break from the relationship to give him enough space for healing.
If he won’t let go and continues treating you with bitterness, you should walk away because you deserve better.
A healthy relationship is between two great forgivers; if he’s unwilling to let go, it could mean he’s tired of the relationship and doesn’t want it anymore.
In that case, you can’t force yourself on him.
Frequently Ask Questions
Signs Your Boyfriend Resents You
He gets mad at you easily
He’s cold and distant
He tries to avoid communication
He starts to treat you badly
He doesn’t care about your feelings
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Resents You
If your boyfriend resents you, then apply the following strategies;
Try to get him to communicate
Apologize to him if needed
Be careful not to repeat your mistakes
Give him space to figure out his emotions
Quit if he doesn’t want to forgive you.
I Love My Partner, But I Feel Like He Resents Me; Everything Is My Fault, And He Doesn’t Even Say Nice Things About Me.
It’s unfortunate your boyfriend resents you at the moment. There are many reasons why he could be acting that way.
Maybe he found out something about you, or you did something that hurt him.
But it’s important you communicate with him and let him know how you feel.
How he reacts to the information would determine whether he still cares about you.