When my girlfriend and I started dating five years ago, it wasn’t easy
She was fond of making the same mistakes over and over again.
At first, it was frustrating, but she tried her best to work on herself.
It wasn’t easy for us to get to the point we are today, but we were both patient with each other.
This article is for you if your boyfriend keeps reminding you of your past mistakes.
Although it’s not a good sign that he keeps reminding you of your mistakes, it’s also possible there are reasons why he acts that way.
If you are ready, let’s explore some of those reasons
My Boyfriend Keeps Bringing Up My Past Mistakes: Why He Acts That Way
1. He Doesn’t Forgive Easily
Your boyfriend may be someone that doesn’t forgive easily.
Such people would keep reminding you of your mistakes because they are hurt.
Unforgiveness creates room for resentment, and when you are resentful, you start looking for the slightest opportunity to hurt your partner.
Relationships require forgiving, and if your boyfriend is someone who hardly forgives, he will keep reminding you of your mistakes.
If he hardly forgives, he would possibly keep records of all your mistakes, even the ones you might have long forgotten.
2. You Keep Repeating the Same Mistakes
Trust me, I am speaking from experience; nothing is as frustrating as a partner that repeats the same mistakes multiple times.
It could drive you insane that might be the state of your boyfriend right now.
If you keep repeating the same mistakes, your boyfriend will likely remind you of your past mistakes to drive home his point.
He could say something like
“Rose, please don’t loan money to someone you would later complain about; remember how you borrowed Tracy some money she didn’t pay back, although I told you not to.”
As you can see, he’s bringing up your past mistakes to correct you in the present.
And that happens when you keep repeating the same mistakes over again.
Your boyfriend might want to make you realize how serious the situation is and why you should not repeat it; hence he brings up your past mistakes.
3. He’s Trying To Use It To Advice You
Although it’s the wrong approach, your boyfriend might be reminding you of your past mistakes to advise you not to make them again.
Take, for instance, you invested into something he warned you about that would crash, and you didn’t listen to him and yet went ahead and lost your money,
He can continue to repeat that episode to drive home his point.
I know it hurts being reminded of your mistakes every time.
4. He Uses It As A Tool Of Control
Your boyfriend might be reminding you of your past mistakes as a means to control you.
Reminding you of your past mistakes could be a manipulative technique to weaken your self-esteem and make you feel worthless.
He can make you do whatever he wants when you have low self-esteem.
He could also remind you of your mistakes when he wants you to agree to a decision he’s about to take.
A Narcissist boyfriend often finds excuses to attack your self-image and make you feel not good enough.
It hurts when you are reminded of your mistakes, especially when you have promised it won’t happen again,
But if your boyfriend wants to hurt you deliberately, he will bring it up.
My Boyfriend Keeps Bringing Up My Past Mistakes: How To Handle The Situation
5. Talk To Him About It
If your boyfriend reminding you of your mistakes hurts you, then you should tell him.
Sit down with him and tell him you appreciate his patience, but you are not happy that he keeps reminding you of your mistakes.
Please don’t believe you deserve such treatment because you made a mistake; instead, tell your boyfriend that his action hurts you.
Maybe it’s not his intention to hurt you, or he brought up your past mistakes in a moment of anger; you wouldn’t know his true purpose if you didn’t talk about it.
6. Work On Yourself
Maybe you keep repeating the same mistakes; you are always defensive when he brings it up, or you never apologize.
Whenever you know you are doing that makes him bring up past mistakes, you need to work on them.
Some ladies believe their boyfriends should accept them the way they are; even with their negative attitude and frustrating mistakes, you shouldn’t be among them.
Be ready to work on yourself if the need arises, and strive to be a better version of yourself daily.
7. Visit A Therapist Together
If you notice things are not improving despite having a conversation with your boyfriend,
Then it might be time to visit a counselor or a therapist to help put the relationship on track.
Sometimes it’s easy to hide the issue from each other.
There might be reasons why your boyfriend brings up the past that is unknown to you, reasons he might not tell you.
A therapist can help unravel the hidden mysteries that make him bring up your past mistakes.
8. You Can Quit If He Won’t Stop
Nobody wants a boyfriend who keeps breathing down their necks and bringing up their past mistakes.
Such action harms the flow of love and can easily change your mood from happy to sad in an instant.
If your boyfriend refuses to stop using your past mistakes against you and keeps bringing it up, although you’ve apologized, it’s time to leave.
Nobody is perfect, but as long as you make daily efforts to be a better person,
He shouldn’t keep bringing up the past unless he wants to use it to control you.
That’s a sign of a toxic relationship, and you should leave as soon as possible.
There are many guys out there who would help you improve; don’t sell yourself short.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why Does My Boyfriend Keep Bringing Up My Past Mistakes?
He’s trying to hurt you: your boyfriend could be trying to break you by bringing up the past.
He may be angry about something and trying to bring up your past mistakes to make you feel bad.
A narcissist boyfriend can use it to manipulate you to get whatever he wants.
He’s insecure and doesn’t trust you: maybe you’ve betrayed his trust before despite his warnings.
He could bring up your past because he doesn’t trust you to do the right thing, so he tries to remind you of your mistake to ensure you don’t repeat it.
For instance, if you cheated on him with a guy he warned you of from the beginning, he may bring it often to remind you to listen to him next time.
He’s Yet To Forgive You: Forgiveness in a relationship is not easy, especially if you keep repeating the same mistakes.
He could resent you due to your past mistakes, and that anger is why he keeps bringing it up.
He Wants To Win An Argument: if your boyfriend wants to win an argument, he can bring up your past mistakes to weaken your opinion.
He can use your past mistakes as a weapon to make you give up and become silent about the topic of discussion.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Keeps Bringing Up The Past?
1. Focus on personal development
2. Ask him to help you become better
3. Admit you made a mistake, and you are willing to work on it
4. When he’s in a happy mood, talk about how his actions hurt you
5. Seek professional help if necessary
Is It Okay To Bring Up The Past In A Relationship?
No, it’s not okay. Anytime you bring up the past in your relationship, you hurt your partner and make them feel worthless.
The constant reminder of the past can make your partner lose self-esteem and become insecure.
It can also make your partner afraid to open up about their challenges.
What Does It Mean When A Guy Keeps Bringing Up The Past?
It could mean the following;
1. He’s insecure and finding it difficult to trust you
2. He has a negative experience with women
3. He’s yet to forgive you for your past mistakes
4. He’s trying to control and dominate you
5. You keep repeating the same mistakes