My boyfriend is nice but i don’t love him if you are in such a situation this article is for you.
First, let me share a story
In March 2017, Josh met Cecilia through a mutual friend.
Josh has always been a nice guy and believes every woman should be treated with respect.
On the other hand, Cecilia just came out of a relationship that broke her to pieces.
Josh and Cecilia became friends until one day, Josh asked her out, and she accepted.
Although Josh was nice and treated her like a queen, she couldn’t love him.
Josh did his best to make the relationship work, but along the line, he discovered Cecilia didn’t love him,
She was trying to fake it all along; eventually, they broke up and went their separate ways.
Wait, I am not saying you should break up with your boyfriend because your situation might differ.
In Cecilia’s case, something didn’t allow her to love him. I will share that later.
But if you are in a situation where you are with a nice guy, but you don’t love him, this article is for you.
My Boyfriend Is Nice But I Don’t Love Him: Why You Feel That Way
1. Lack Of Emotional Connection
Maybe feel connected to your boyfriend emotionally.
You might not feel any spark or excitement whenever you are with him.
Like the story above, Cecilia couldn’t connect with Josh emotionally because she was eight years older than him and wasn’t comfortable with it.
Everyone encouraged her that there was nothing wrong with dating a younger guy, and Josh was a nice guy, which made her agree to the relationship.
Even after they started dating, she still couldn’t get over the fact that she was older, which hindered her ability to love him.
He might not be your kind of man, but you just accepted him because he’s nice.
Maybe he’s not tall or romantic, and you don’t like him, but everyone tells you he’s nice.
2. Incompatible Values
Maybe you don’t love him because you have a different mindset from each other.
His mindset about love and life might differ, making you hesitate to love him.
If you always disagree on everything, it might be a sign you’re not compatible that can hinder you from loving him.
For example, he’s nice but doesn’t value your opinion or ignores you whenever he wants to make a decision. Such behavior can scare you from loving him.
3. Different Life Goals
His life goals and yours might not align, and you’re thinking, what would happen if you fall in love with him?
It’s okay to ask yourself where everything will end since your life goals are in the opposite direction.
You could question whether the relationship has a future because of his conflicting life goals, making it difficult to love him.
4. Past Trauma
Maybe your ex-boyfriend hurt you so much, making it difficult for you to fall in love again.
A lot of women still haven’t gotten over their past hurt, which most times affect their current relationship.
That was the case with Cecilia. Apart from the fact that Josh was younger,
Another issue that affected her ability to love him was; she was still hurt that her ex left after five years and married another woman.
That broke her and made it difficult for her to love Josh.
She was still secretly chatting with her ex.
Recent statistics show that over 44% of Americans want to get their ex back.
Maybe you can’t love your current boyfriend because you are still hurt or in love with your ex.
5. Lack Of Physical Attraction
Maybe you’re not attracted to him physically because he doesn’t have certain attributes you want.
He could visit you, and you won’t feel anything, no spark or excitement. Your emotions go cold, no matter how you try to warm up to him.
Maybe he’s not handsome, and you love handsome guys that lack of physical attributes can make it difficult for you to love him.
6. You Have Issues With Self-Esteem
Maybe you don’t love him because you have issues with your self-esteem.
You might feel he’s too good for you and you don’t deserve him
I once had a girl that didn’t want to fall in love with me because she felt I was too good for her.
What Do I Do If I Don’t Love My Boyfriend?
7. Reflect On Your Feelings
First, I recommend you reflect on your feelings and be sure you don’t love him.
You have to properly evaluate your feelings before making any decision you will regret later.
You should give yourself more time and see if you would develop feelings for him.
Sometimes you might not know you love someone until they are gone.
You can speak with someone you trust about the issue and hear what they say.
If a guy needs to do something to make you fall in love, then try to make your boyfriend do those things.
8. Have An Honest Conversation
It’s one of the most difficult conversations to have in a relationship.
It would hurt him if he learned you don’t love him.
But still, it’s necessary you tell him how you feel.
Tell him you’re struggling to love him and don’t know what to do.
Be honest in your conversation with him, and if you need a break to figure out your emotions, you can ask for it.
Be aware that having this conversation could change the dynamics of your relationship,
Such that he can accuse you of not doing certain things for him because you don’t love him.
Imagine you don’t call him in a day. He can easily conclude it’s because you don’t love him.
9. Seek The Help Of A Therapist
A therapist can help you unravel why it’s difficult for you to love your boyfriend.
During therapy, you might discover things you didn’t know about yourself.
You could also discover you shouldn’t be in the relationship in the first place if not that you were trying to please people or because you pitied him.
Signing up for therapy might help clear your emotions and give you the courage to make the right decision.
9. Take Action
It’s the point where you take action on the relationship.
If you’ve had a conversation with your boyfriend and he started to act cold because of what you told him, consider ending the relationship.
You can’t be in a relationship with a guy you don’t love. He would suffer while you would be unhappy.
If you’ve applied the above strategies and still have no feelings for him, you should quit and find a guy you love.
10. Take Care Of Yourself
Whether you love him or not, ending a relationship is not always easy; that’s why you should take care of yourself.
Lean on friends and family for support, and work on yourself for your next relationship.
Self-love is important in helping you choose the right guy when you want to date again.
That’s why you should invest in yourself and be your best.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is It Okay If I Don’t Love My Boyfriend?
It’s not okay.
You won’t be committed or excited about the relationship if you don’t love your boyfriend.
Secondly, you won’t want to make sacrifices for the relationship.
It would get to a point he would notice you don’t love him.
If you’ve done your best and you still don’t feel anything for him, then break up and find someone else you would love.
I Have A Boyfriend But I Don’t Love Him The Way He Loves Me. What Do I Do?
If you don’t love your boyfriend, you can try the following strategies:
Give it sometime
Let go of your past hurt
Don’t be afraid to fall in love
Try not to think your boyfriend is out to break your heart
Spend quality time with him
Why Don’t I Love My Boyfriend?
The following are possible reasons why you don’t love your boyfriend:
You still love your ex
You think you’re too good for him
There’s something you don’t like about him (he’s younger or broke)
You resent him due to past actions
You’re afraid of commitment