he gets defensive when i tell him how i feel

My Boyfriend Gets Angry When I Talk About My Feelings: 10 Odd Facts

My boyfriend gets angry when I talk about my feelings if you in such situation this is for you.

You’re in a relationship where communication has been stifled, and your voice is no longer heard.

Your boyfriend acts like your opinion doesn’t matter, and he doesn’t care about your feelings.

Expressing yourself has become difficult because he tries to shut you up anytime you want to discuss your feelings.

When there’s a communication breakdown, it’s only a matter of time before the relationship collapses.

Your boyfriend avoiding an atmosphere of communication means there’s something wrong.

Either he’s no longer interested in the relationship or has someone else.

In this article, I will share the possible reasons why your boyfriend gets angry when you talk about your feelings and how to handle the situation.

Why Does My Boyfriend Get Mad When I Talk About How I Feel?

1. Unresolved Emotional Issues

My Boyfriend Gets Angry When I Talk About My Feelings

Maybe your boyfriend grew up in an environment where talking about your feelings was seen as a sign of weakness.

His parents might not have created an atmosphere for communication, which affected his ability to communicate as an adult.

Maybe he grew up afraid of his parents and couldn’t share his challenges with them.

He was accustomed to holding his emotions within and saw others who expressed them as weak.

Your boyfriend might get angry when you talk about your feelings because he doesn’t know how to communicate.

2. Fear Of Conflicts Or Negative Emotions

Your boyfriend might try to avoid discussing how you feel because he believes it would end in conflict.

Most guys hate conflicts and would want to do anything to avoid them.

Discussing your feelings might make him uncomfortable and get angry to avoid the conversation.

For instance, you want to discuss the issue of getting married, and he’s not ready for it, but you keep bringing it up.

He might get angry whenever you try to talk about it.

Maybe you start your conversation by criticizing him.

Men hate criticism, and it’s the fastest way to turn on their anger.

3. Insecurity And Fear Of Vulnerability

Your boyfriend might not want to talk about certain things because he doesn’t want to appear vulnerable.

When you talk about your feelings, he would need to talk about his feelings, too, which might make him appear vulnerable.

Most men raised in an abusive environment don’t want to appear vulnerable. They bottle their feelings and act strong.

A guy who has never expressed his emotional feelings because he’s afraid of being vulnerable would quickly get angry when you try to talk about yours.

4. Past Experiences Influencing Him

Your boyfriend’s past relationship experience might have shaped his response to certain emotional discussions, such as when you talk about your feelings.

If his ex never gave room for discussion, he might believe communication is unimportant.

I know of a guy whose ex-girlfriend said he was jealous and insecure

In his next relationship, he allowed the girl to do whatever she desired without asking questions.

Your boyfriend’s behavior might be influenced due to the actions of his ex.

5. Difficulty Understanding Emotions

Most guys are naïve when it comes to understanding the emotional needs of women.

Some of them are impatient when it comes to listening to you.

They want you to get right to it, and they get angry when you try to explain things.

Most men treat women like men which causes problems in most relationships.

Your boyfriend might behave this way because he doesn’t understand your emotional needs.

6. Defense Mechanism Or Escaping Conversation

boyfriend gets mad when i express my feelings

It’s the most common reason why guys get angry when you talk about your feelings.

Your boyfriend might get angry as a defensive mechanism because he’s trying to avoid communication.

You might have seen him flirting with women online, and when you try to bring up the conversation, he gets angry; that’s a defense mechanism.

Or he did something to hurt you, and when you bring it up, he gets angry because he’s trying to avoid the conversation.

My Boyfriend Gets Angry When I Talk About My Feelings: How To Handle The Situation.

7. Change Your Approach To Presentation

he gets mad when i tell him he hurt me

Maybe the way you are bringing up the issue is making him angry.

Discuss your feelings in a non-judgmental way or without criticizing him.

You can even take him out to dinner or host him on a movie date, and when the atmosphere is right, talk to him from your heart.

Try not to nag him because most men hate it.

You might be bringing up an issue he feels is not important. In such a case, give him time to see things your way.

8. Be Firm In Your Conversation

Some women will immediately start crying if their boyfriend gets angry when they talk about their feelings.

Try not to be one of them.

Be firm in your conversation with your boyfriend, let him know he has to listen and you won’t back down.

He needs to know you’re serious about letting out your feelings.

You can tell him, “Babe, you have to listen to me today. Whether you are angry or not, I just need to speak out what’s on my mind.”

9. Encourage Him To Communicate His Feelings

Your boyfriend might be acting that way because he’s resenting you.

That’s why you need to encourage him to communicate his feelings too.

No relationship can survive without communication.

Your boyfriend needs to communicate when you hurt him instead of being silent and maltreating you later.

10. Quit If He Doesn’t Change

You can’t continue to be in a relationship with a guy that doesn’t care about your emotions.

Being silenced can make you tired of the relationship.

You would feel frustrated and lonely because your boyfriend has refused to listen to your emotional needs.

Building a sustainable relationship in an atmosphere of unhappiness would be difficult.

Make a decision that would preserve your sanity.

There are so many men out there that would treat you like a queen. You shouldn’t settle for a guy that doesn’t want to listen to you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why Does He Take Everything I Say The Wrong Way?

He might be trying to avoid the conversation because he feels it might end in an argument.

It’s also possible he doesn’t know what to say concerning the issue; he might be resenting you already for something you did in the past.

Every Time I Express My Feelings, He Gets Mad. What Should I Do?

If your boyfriend gets angry whenever you express your emotions, you can try the following tips:

Give him some time before bringing it up.

Insist he listens to you

Walk away if he keeps acting that way

Why Does He Get Defensive When I Express My Feelings?

The following are possible reasons why he gets defensive when you express your feelings:

He’s trying to avoid the conversation

He feels attacked and criticized

He wants to silence your voice in the relationship

He doesn’t know how to respond to your feelings

He doesn’t respect your emotions

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