I understand what it means to be dating a guy who seems like marriage is not on his agenda.
He might have told you before that he doesn’t want to get married, and you thought he was joking.
You might have been with him for years, but he still doesn’t discuss marriage.
Anytime you bring up the issue, his mood changes immediately, often leading to a fight.
Now you are wondering what to do since your boyfriend doesn’t want to get married, and you love him.
In this article, I will share the possible reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t want to get married and what you can do about it.
If you are ready, let’s dive in
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Married: Why He Acts That Way
1. He Has A Negative View Of Marriage
Maybe your boyfriend saw his married parents always fighting as a child or a teenager, and he grew up with the wrong mindset about marriage.
Most people’s perception of certain things comes from their childhood experiences.
If his parents were always fighting or there was no peace in their home, it could make him decide that marriage was not for him.
Nobody wants a repeat of a terrible childhood experience when they become adults.
If you notice, he doesn’t say anything about his parent’s marriage or says, “If all marriages are like my parents, I would rather remain single.
Many people have vowed never to get married because of what they saw with their parents.
It’s also possible he was married before and now has a negative view of marriage due to his experience.
People who have experienced a failed marriage are generally unexcited about getting married.
2. He’s Afraid Of Change
Most men are scared of change after getting married.
There’s a lot that can change after marriage that scares most men
Some men believe marriage gives women a sense of security that makes them comfortable
It’s possible your boyfriend is scared that getting married might affect the chemistry of the relationship, and he’s trying to avoid it.
Many couples have gotten married, and it affected their emotional bonding.
Your boyfriend might be afraid that the desire to make each other happy will disappear after marriage.
If he says something like, “I treasure what we share, and I am afraid marriage might ruin it.”
That’s proof he’s afraid that things might change after marriage.
3. He’s Anticipating Someone Better
It’s possible he thinks you are not the one for him, and he’s anticipating he will meet someone better.
But in the meantime, he needs to keep you around to satisfy his interests.
That’s why a guy can date a lady for ten years, dump her, and marry another lady he met six months ago.
If he feels you don’t deserve him or he’s doing you a favour by dating you, he may believe you are not good enough to be his wife.
If you notice he’s always excited by other ladies or consistently flirting with other ladies online; it could mean he’s expecting that someone better would come along.
4. He’s Scared Of Divorce.
With over 60% of marriages in the United States ending in divorce, that’s enough to scare anyone.
If your boyfriend’s parents or any of his close friends are divorced, it would also influence his decision not to get married.
Although it might sound selfish, most men fear divorce because of the financial implications of such an event.
Your boyfriend might be scared that in a divorce situation, he might lose everything, either in child support or alimony.
If he has friends that have gone through a divorce who tell him horror stories about marriage and how it ruined their lives, it could negatively affect his mindset about marriage.
5. He Doesn’t Really Love You.
If a man truly loves you, he would want to spend the rest of his life with you.
The moment he’s unsure about you or the relationship, he might claim he doesn’t want to get married.
Not being married reduces his emotional and financial risk.
He can easily leave you if he’s no longer interested in the relationship.
He doesn’t need to visit the courts and initiate a divorce. He can send you a breakup text message And then walk away.
If he’s married to you, he can’t.
Marriage is a huge commitment from a man’s perspective, and he wants to be with someone he loves.
If your boyfriend has been showing you signs that he pretends to love you and tells you he doesn’t want to get married, it could mean he doesn’t want you.
And he’s still searching for that woman that would take his breath away.
6. He Has Someone Else
Your boyfriend may be currently married to another woman, or he has another woman he wants to marry.
Some men can deceive a woman with “I don’t want to get married” until you see their invitation card getting married to another woman.
If your boyfriend always hides his phone or doesn’t take certain calls when you are around, that could be a sign he’s married or cheating on you with another woman.
I remember the story of a friend who waited for her boyfriend for five years, and the guy didn’t propose marriage.
He acted like he didn’t want to get married until he suddenly married another woman.
7. He Doesn’t See You As Wife Material
Most men have a picture of the ideal woman they want as a wife.
Sadly your boyfriend might not see you as one; hence he claims he doesn’t want to get married.
A guy who doesn’t see you as the “one” would have all the excuses in the world.
But immediately, he finds a woman that takes his breath away; he would get married to her.
If your boyfriend has said something like, “I don’t see a future between us”, or “I don’t think we would be compatible in marriage.”
That’s a sign he doesn’t see you as his wife.
8. He’s Broke
Broke guys are afraid of marriage.
Marriage involves a huge financial commitment that might scare your boyfriend.
Most guys are scared of getting married and unable to provide for their family.
If you notice that your boyfriend loves you but is financially unstable, it could be why he doesn’t want to get married.
Getting married means more financial responsibility; if your boyfriend doesn’t have a good financial standing, he might decide not to get married.
Financial disagreements are the second most popular reason couples divorce in the United States.
9. He’s Afraid Of Babies
Some guys don’t want the responsibility of being a father.
If you were to get married, you would likely have kids, and your boyfriend might not want to be a parent.
It’s not easy raising kids. It comes with a lot of stress that some men want to avoid.
If your boyfriend has ever told you he doesn’t know why people have kids,
That might be why he doesn’t want to get married.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Married: How To Handle The Situation
10. Ask Yourself What You Really Want
You have to sit down and ask yourself what you really want.
Are you okay with the relationship, or do you someday desire marriage?
If you don’t want to get married and you love each other, then it’s okay to continue the relationship and close your ears to external interference.
If marriage is what you want as proof of your love and commitment to each other, then let him know what you want.
Please don’t convince or coerce him to marry you because if his mind is not in it, you will be the one to suffer emotionally.
He might end up resenting or maltreating you for making him get married.
Talk to him about your desire to get married and listen to what he has to say.
His response would go a long way to help you make a decision.
Try and find out his reason for not wanting to get married. It will help you move on if the need arises.
If he’s resolute that he doesn’t want to get married, which is the opposite of what you want, it’s time to cut your loss and move on.
Please don’t waste your time trying to make him change his mind because it might never happen.
Some ladies had stayed many years with a guy with the hope that he would change his mind even when the guy told them he didn’t want to get married.
Many of those women realized their mistakes late and live in regret today.
Don’t be one of them. Cut your loss on time and find another guy who wants to marry you.
Frequently Asked Questions
He Doesn’t Want To Marry Me. Should I Leave Him?
It depends on the situation.
If he has made it clear to you that he doesn’t want to get married for whatever reason, then it’s time to count your losses and move on.
You would someday find a guy who would be delighted to marry you.
But if he hasn’t said anything about not marrying you but always trying to avoid marriage talk,
You should find out if it’s something you can resolve with him; otherwise, it’s time to walk away.
Is It Okay If Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Married?
Of course, it is okay.
Some guys do not want to get married, and it’s fine.
But you also need to decide if you want marriage or not.
If you desire to be married someday and your boyfriend does not, it means your goal doesn’t align, and it can bring tension and resentment with time.
If he doesn’t want the same things as you do, it’s time to walk away.
Staying in such a relationship would only lead to wasted years and regrets.
But if you both don’t want marriage, being together is okay.
Can A Man Love You And Not Want To Marry You?
It’s possible for a guy to love you and not want to marry you.
If he treats you nicely and doesn’t act suspiciously in any way, it might be he truly loves you but is scared of something.
Find out why your boyfriend doesn’t want to get married and if it’s something you can work on together.
Why Would A Man Not Want To Get Married?
There are many reasons why a man would decide not to get married, some of them are listed below:
Negative perception about marriage
Fear of responsibility
Lack of financial stability
Fear of divorce
He has someone else