I understand how you might feel hurting your boyfriend when that wasn’t your intention.
Life happens. We sometimes say or do certain things we didn’t plan for.
The most important thing is to realize your mistakes and find a way to fix them.
If you’ve hurt your boyfriend emotionally and don’t know how to fix it, this article is for you.
Men tend to easily forgive, although it depends on how much you hurt them.
If you follow the steps in this article, you should be able to fix the issue and save your relationship.
If you are ready, let’s dive in.
I Hurt My Boyfriend Emotionally How Do I Fix It
1. Accept Responsibility For Your Actions
Most people quickly trade blame; they never accept responsibility for their actions.
It will be difficult for him to forgive you if you don’t accept responsibility for your mistakes.
If you blame your boyfriend for your mistakes, things will only get worse.
Your accusation would make him angry, making it more difficult for him to let the issue go.
I had such an incident with my ex when I caught her cheating, I asked why she did it, and she said I was the cause.
Even when she was trying to get us back together, I wasn’t interested because she accused me of making her cheat.
In reality, cheating is a choice, and she made that choice.
No matter what he was doing wrong, you could have discussed it before doing something that hurt him.
Whatever you did to hurt him is on you; accept responsibility, and let’s move to the next step.
2. Apologize For Your Actions
After you’ve accepted your mistakes, it’s time to apologize to him sincerely.
Try and do whatever would make him know you are truly sorry and you regret your actions.
Hold him, look into his eyes and tell him you know you hurt him
Explain to him the circumstances that made you hurt him.
If it’s cheating, tell him how it started and why you didn’t tell him at the beginning.
If you said something to hurt him, make him understand your state of mind at that point.
Apologizing to your boyfriend without telling him why you did it would make it difficult for him to forgive you, and he would keep wondering what happened.
If he keeps wondering what happened, your relationship will suffer because he wouldn’t be fully committed, and he will get angry with you easily.
Explain everything he needs to know about the incident that would give him the motivation to get over it.
3. Give Him Time To Heal
No matter how much you apologize, it will take time for him to heal
Healing is difficult; he would need time to process everything.
He might be withdrawn for a while and might get angry with you often because he’s still hurt.
But with time, he would get over it.
He might even ask for a break to figure things out, which I recommend you grant him.
Staying away from each other can help him heal faster and make him see your value despite your mistakes.
Give him space to think and make a decision for himself.
If you refuse to give him space, he might maltreat you.
4. Allow Him To Express His Feelings
After you’ve apologized to him, your boyfriend will definitely have something to say.
He would want to express his feelings by telling you how much you hurt him.
Let him pour out his pain and hurt to you. It would help the healing process.
Listening to him talk about his feelings would make you realize how much he loves you.
A guy that doesn’t love you won’t get hurt when you do something wrong.
Don’t try to use “I am sorry” to avoid the conversation because if he doesn’t let his emotions out, he will take it out on you later.
5. Try Not To Repeat Your Mistakes
Of what use is forgiveness if you repeat the same mistakes over and over again?
Apologizing to your boyfriend would make sense if you learned from your mistakes.
The best way to prove that what you did to hurt him was not deliberate is not to repeat it.
If it’s your first time hurting him, you can claim it’s a mistake, but if you keep repeating it, it’s deliberate.
6. Go The Extra Mile For The Relationship
You have to win his trust and commitment to the relationship again. You must go the extra mile for the relationship to work.
He might be withdrawn from you; he might not call you anymore, be patient with him and do the calling and texting,
Take him out on a date, get him gifts and tell him you are sorry for hurting him.
It’s also important not to lose yourself in making him forgive you.
Do your best for him to know you are sorry but don’t let him use you or play with your feelings in the name of forgiveness.
7. Forgive Yourself
While trying to fix the issue with your boyfriend, you might feel bitter and ashamed for causing your boyfriend so much pain.
That’s why you need to forgive yourself for your mistakes.
Without forgiving yourself, you might have difficulty believing he has forgiven you.
Try not to feel guilty and ashamed of your mistakes or feel you are not good enough for your boyfriend because you did something wrong to hurt him.
Forgive yourself and let go of your mistakes; you will be better positioned to receive your boyfriend’s forgiveness.
8. Speak To Those Close To Him
Depending on the seriousness of the issue, you can involve those close to him to speak on your behalf.
Sometimes the issues we face in relationships are beyond what we can resolve. We have to involve other people with influence to intervene.
If your boyfriend has a close friend or family that can influence him,
You should inform that person of the situation and your efforts to work things out without success.
The person should be able to talk with your boyfriend and make him see things differently.
I have seen so many couples on the verge of breakup coming back stronger because someone intervened.
9. Accept His Final Decision
Whatever his final decision is, you should accept it.
He can tell you he has forgiven you but no longer wants the relationship.
You might want to convince him to stay, but you should let him go if his mind is made up.
Use your mistakes as a lesson for your next relationship.
The last thing you would want to do is to force him to stay
When I caught my ex-girlfriend cheating, I forgave her, but I couldn’t continue the relationship; I trusted her so much that when she betrayed my trust, it was hard to trust her again, so I had to walk away.
Your boyfriend can decide to stay or walk away. Whatever his choice is, you should respect it.
10. Be Open With Your Communication
Be honest and open if he decides to give the relationship another chance.
Being transparent is one of the surest ways to win back trust, be open to him and tell him everything even when he doesn’t ask about it.
If there’s a habit of yours that hurts him, then you should work on the habit and give him daily updates on your progress.
Honest communication is an effective strategy to help someone you hurt to heal.
11. Sign Up For Counseling Together
You might need help from a professional.
If you’ve done your best to fix things, but it’s not working, you can sign up with your boyfriend for counseling.
A counselor can explain why your boyfriend is hurt and give tips to help salvage the situation.
If you are both committed to making it work, convincing him to sign up for counseling would be easy.
Sometimes you need guidance when you hurt someone you love and don’t know how to fix it.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do I Make It Up To My Boyfriend After Hurting Him?
Accept responsibility for hurting him
Apologize for your actions
Give some time to heal
Allow him to express his feelings
Try not to repeat your mistakes
Be more open and honest with him
Learn to forgive yourself
How Do You Make Him Love You Again After A Fight?
Give him time to heal from the incidence
Re-evaluate the cause of the fight
Forgive yourself if you’re at fault
Apologize to him
Compromise on certain things if needed
Can A Man Love Again After Being Hurt?
Of course, but most times, you would need to give him time to get over it, and then he can see clearly and be ready to love again.