I understand how much it hurts if your boyfriend keeps lying to you, even when there’s no need for it.
You might wonder why he keeps lying to you, even if you’ve never judged or criticized him for telling the truth.
I know how much it hurts for someone you love to lie to you consistently; it can even make you lose the trust you have for him.
Guys lie for different reasons, and in this article,
I will share the possible reasons why your boyfriend keeps lying to you and what you can do about it.
My Boyfriend Keeps Lying To Me: Why He Acts That Way
1. He Feels You Can’t Handle The Truth
Most men are scared that telling a woman the truth would cause more harm than good.
They believe that a woman would misinterpret the situation and cause drama.
Among families, most kids prefer to share the hard stuff about their life with their dad than their mom.
Why?
They are trying to avoid drama and unnecessary tension.
Your boyfriend could lie because he feels you can’t handle the truth without causing chaos or nagging him.
If you notice your guy is always saying you nag too much,
Or he was telling you the truth before and suddenly stopped; it might be how you responded to the truth that made him decide to lie to you.
I don’t support his behavior, just sharing the possible reasons why he keeps lying to you.
2. He’s Taking You For Granted
Maybe he’s lying to you because he believes he can get away with it.
You may have chosen to ignore his lies before now or taken no action about it.
And now he believes he can keep lying to you and nothing will happen.
The truth is people do what you allow them to do.
He could take you for granted because he knows you won’t stop loving him despite his lies.
If your boyfriend is convinced he can always get away with his lies, he won’t value or respect you.
3. He’s Afraid Of Criticism
Most guys who have low self-esteem have an issue dealing with criticism.
It often hurts them so much and can make them resentful.
If you notice your boyfriend doesn’t like being criticized and often likes to look perfect,
Then it would be easy for him to lie to cover up his mistakes.
If your guy always wants to appear without faults before you or anyone else, then he’s likely to lie to keep up.
4. He Learnt It Since Childhood
It could be a habit he learned while growing up as a child.
Most people who come from abusive homes often lie to escape punishment.
The environment he grew up could also contribute to making him tell lies.
If your boyfriend’s default response is to lie when confronted about any issue, there’s a high chance he learned it during childhood.
5. He’s Under Pressure
Your boyfriend could be under emotional or financial pressure, and he’s lying to you to avoid being held accountable.
He could also be lying because he wants you to feel everything is under control.
He could be in debt, or he has spent his money irresponsibly and doesn’t know how to tell you.
And he prefers to keep lying about his finances to cover up the issue.
6. He’s Cheating On You
If your boyfriend is consistently lying to you, there’s a chance he’s cheating on you.
When someone cheats on you, many areas of their life look suspicious, and he needs to lie to cover up.
You can see him with another girl, and he lies about it.
You see a lady’s clothes in his house, and he lies about that too.
If a guy is cheating, he would need to keep lying to cover up his tracks.
7. He Has Mental Health Challenges
If your boyfriend is a chronic liar, he may have an antisocial personality disorder.
It’s a mental health condition that makes someone want to manipulate the people around them.
People with such disorders tell lies even when they don’t need to, and they can lie about small things that aren’t important.
They often get defensive when you try to hold them accountable for their lying habit.
My Boyfriend Keeps Lying To Me: How To Handle The Situation
8. Set Clear Boundaries
It would help if you let him know you don’t tolerate lying.
Most ladies do not hold their boyfriends accountable for their actions; they rather keep quiet about it and start resenting him instead.
Please don’t be like that.
Establish ground rules and make it clear you hate lying, and if he’s caught, you will take drastic action against him.
People treat you based on what feel you tolerate.
If he believes you would tolerate his lies and never hold him accountable,
Guess what?
He would keep lying to you; since there’s no consequence even if he tells you a million lies.
9. Use Reverse Psychology
Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t tell you the truth because he’s afraid of criticism or disappointing you with his actions.
That’s why you should use reverse psychology.
How?
If he tells you the truth about anything, even if it’s bad, don’t criticize him; encourage and support him instead.
It might surprise him, but he would trust you as someone he can tell the truth to without fear of criticism or judgment.
Men are often afraid of criticism if they make a mistake.
10. Make Him Sign Up For Therapy
Maybe your boyfriend lying to you is because he has psychological issues that haven’t been resolved.
Such as low self-esteem or growing up in a toxic environment; if so, encourage him to sign up for therapy.
Therapy can help him address the issue that’s making him lie consistently.
A therapist could determine the reason behind his lying habit and proffer solutions that would help him.
11. Quit If He Doesn’t Change
He might not see anything wrong with his habit and can even become defensive. He can say, “all men tell lies at some point.”
If he brings up a defensive attitude and refuses to acknowledge he has a problem he needs to work on, then you should quit.
He’s not going to change no matter what you do.
A man must first admit he has a problem before making changes.
Frequently Asked Questions
What To Do If Your Boyfriend Is Constantly Lying To You?
If you find out your boyfriend is constantly lying to you, there are a few things you can do, and they are listed below:
Make him accountable: most women ignore it when their boyfriend keeps lying to them.
Please don’t be one of them. Hold your boyfriend accountable if he tells you a lie.
Ignoring it might give him the confidence to tell more lies.
He might work on the habit when he observes you don’t allow him to get away with his lies.
Calmly call him out for lying to you to avoid making him defensive and justifying his actions.
People keep doing what we allow them to do. If you don’t call out your boyfriend for lying, he will likely keep doing it.
Ask him why he lied to you: I understand it hurts when your boyfriend lies to you.
But it’s still important to ask him why he lied to you in the first place.
Maybe he’s afraid of criticism, or he doesn’t know how you would handle the truth.
You should have a calm conversation with him and ask why he lied.
You might be surprised by what he might tell you.
Tell him you won’t tolerate more lies: Try and be firm with your boundary and let him know you wouldn’t accept more lies.
You should tell him the consequences if he lies to you again.
He will likely make changes if he knows you are serious and would take drastic action if he lies again.
Be honest: it will be very easy for your boyfriend to keep lying to you if you lie too.
You can’t make him stop lying if you also lie about things when confronted.
If you maintain your integrity of always telling him the truth about anything, it will compel him to work on his habit.
If you also lie to him, he can easily get defensive when you try to make him accountable.
What Does It Mean When He Lies To You
If your boyfriend keeps lying to you, it could mean the following:
He’s afraid of telling the truth
He’s afraid of criticism
He’s scared of losing the relationship
He’s trying to cover up something he did.
He wants to appear as a saint before you
He doesn’t respect you
He thinks he can get away with it.
Should I Leave My Boyfriend For Lying?
It depends on you and your principles.
You should leave if you believe you can’t trust him anymore after he lied to you.
No relationship would go far without solid trust in each other.
But if you believe you can forgive and still trust him or rebuild your trust for him, you can stay with him.
But if your boyfriend tells lies constantly, it might not be worth remaining in the relationship if you can’t handle it.