My boyfriend is lazy, if you are in such a situation this article is for you
First, let me share a true-life story.
Jessica and Collins met in a Facebook group.
She was attracted to him because he always gave intelligent answers to the issues that arose in the group.
They chatted for a while on Facebook before Collins asked her for a date.
Their first date went well, and they had fun, which made them schedule subsequent dates.
One thing that made Jessica fall for him was his big dreams.
The relationship was amazing at the beginning, but a few weeks later, she started to observe a trend.
Collins owned a grocery store downtown, but Jessica observed he didn’t go to the store; he preferred to stay home, sleep, and watch TV.
When Jessica asked why he won’t go to the store to manage it daily, he told her he had two salespeople handling the store.
He would wake up, watch TV eat something, and go back to sleep.
Within a short time, Jessica lost interest in the relationship because her boyfriend was lazy and unmotivated about life.
If you are in the same situation where your boyfriend is lazy and you are getting frustrated, this article is for you.
If you are ready, let’s get started.
Why Is My Boyfriend So Lazy And Unmotivated
1. Lack Of Vision And Drive
A guy who has no vision would hardly take his life seriously.
If your boyfriend doesn’t have a goal in life, he won’t have any drive to pursue it.
Most guys are good at making plans, but only the drive to execute them would bring results.
A guy without vision would be best friends with procrastination.
There’s always something he plans to do but never does it.
A man with vision has a list of things he wants to do with a deadline on it, and he works hard to achieve it.
While a lazy guy has a lot of things he plans to do but never does it.
Last year he talked about starting a business or getting a job, but one year after, he hasn’t done anything about it.
Instead, he stays at home all day watching movies on Netflix and later complains he’s broke.
A man without vision and drive would frustrate you; even when you try to motivate him, he gets defensive and accuses you of trying to change him.
2. Enabling Behavior From Friends And Family
Maybe your boyfriend got the support of his friends and family to be lazy.
Many parents directly or indirectly cheer their children when they are being lazy.
Maybe his parents are rich, and he hasn’t worked his entire life, or he’s the only or favorite son of his mom, so she supported him to be lazy.
A guy who has been lazy since childhood would find it difficult to be hard-working and take life seriously as an adult.
3. Poor Time Management Skills
In a world of social media like Instagram and Tiktok, it’s very easy to get distracted and spend hours online without doing anything productive.
Our current generation is one of the most distracted due to technology.
You will end up lazy if you don’t have solid time management skills.
Maybe your boyfriend is lazy because he needs to learn how to manage his time; hence he spends it on unproductive tasks.
These days’ people can spend the whole day on social media or watching Netflix, Which can make you lazy in the long term and bring a lack of desire to work.
4. Lack Of Accountability
If your boyfriend doesn’t have someone he’s accountable to, that might make him lazy.
Just like Collins, who felt he didn’t need to work because he was the owner of the store.
A lot of people are like that. The moment they aren’t accountable to someone, they become lazy.
If he believes he’s the boss and doesn’t need to answer to anyone, that might be why he’s lazy.
That’s why even if your boyfriend isn’t accountable to someone, he should have a goal and a deadline to execute it.
5. Feeling Overwhelmed And Stressed
Sometimes when people need help figuring out what to do or how to start, it can make them lazy.
Maybe your boyfriend is overwhelmed and doesn’t know what to do with his life.
You might see it as laziness. Your boyfriend might need clarification about what to do.
Secondly, he could also be lazy because he’s stressed and overthinking the situations around his life.
I sometimes feel tired because there’s too much to do, and I don’t even know how to begin.
6. Success Syndrome
Your boyfriend could be a victim of success syndrome.
Success syndrome is when someone stops doing the things that got them to the top.
Collins was a victim of success syndrome. He was hard-working. How else would he have been able to acquire the store?
But he stopped when he started to record success.
A lot of people are like that. They are so hard working until they become successful, and immediately they stop, not knowing that you have to work hard to maintain success.
Maybe your boyfriend was a hardworking guy until he recorded some success and became lazy.
How To Deal With A Lazy Boyfriend
7. Have An Honest Conversation
First, you must discover the cause of his laziness before discussing the issue with him.
It’s one of the hardest conversations to have with a guy because he can deny that he’s not lazy.
Or he could get angry with you and start to resent you.
That shouldn’t stop you from bringing up the conversation but with caution.
Tell him you’ve observed he doesn’t work as he ought to and he could record more success by working harder.
The conversation would hurt his ego, but he’s better than resenting him.
Such a discussion could make him a better man or cold towards you.
Either way, let him know he’s not as hardworking as he should be and give him instances in case he tries to deny it.
8. Set Clear Expectations
You have to communicate what he needs to start doing to enhance his productivity.
Communicate your expectations to him regarding household chores, finances and others.
Make sure your boyfriend understands his roles and responsibility in the relationship.
Be aware that it’s difficult to change someone who doesn’t want to.
9. Offer Support And Work Together
Depending on how much he allows you to help him overcome laziness, you can achieve a lot if you work together.
If he agrees that he’s lazy and needs help, you can offer support to overcome the habit.
It won’t be easy, but if you work together as a team, you can help him overcome laziness.
You can help him create a daily schedule with tasks that must be completed.
You can also help him plan monthly and quarterly goals and support him until he achieves them.
If he’s lazy around the house, you can share household chores to help reduce your burden.
10. Consider Your Options
If your boyfriend is unwilling to change or accuses you of trying to change him, you should consider quitting the relationship.
His attitude of laziness is something you shouldn’t ignore.
Some ladies dating lazy men went ahead to marry them only to discover such men hardly change,
Those women are struggling with huge financial responsibility because they ignored warning signs.
You should walk away if your boyfriend doesn’t want to work hard and take his life seriously.
Frequently Asked Questions
My Boyfriend Is Lazy What Should I Do?
Throw him off the bus (just joking), but dealing with a lazy boyfriend is not easy because he won’t agree he’s lazy.
If you are dating a lazy guy, I would recommend the following tips:
Talk To Him
You have to be very careful not to make him defensive or angry.
Try and be honest so he’s aware of his weaknesses.
Tell him you’ve observed he doesn’t want to work, and it gives you cause for concern.
Be aware he might snap at you for telling the truth, so proceed with caution.
Hold Him Accountable
A lazy boyfriend usually has great plans but never executes them due to procrastination and laziness.
Accountability can make your boyfriend more responsible concerning his goals.
Compliment His Strength
The fact that your boyfriend is lazy doesn’t stop him from having other areas of strength.
He might be very intelligent but lazy.
You can acknowledge his intelligence while encouraging him to work hard and be successful.
How Do You Know If Your Boyfriend Is Lazy?
The following are signs your boyfriend is lazy they are listed below:
He doesn’t want to work
He procrastinates a lot
He wants to watch movies all-day
He keeps complaining about his job
He keeps giving excuses
He doesn’t have the drive for success.
Should I Leave My Lazy Boyfriend?
It depends. If your boyfriend is lazy and doesn’t want to change, it’s better to break the relationship than struggle financially in marriage with a lazy man.
He won’t change when you’re married if he doesn’t change now.
Oh, financial disagreement is the second most popular reason couples divorce.