My boyfriend still helps his ex girlfriend. I understand how it feels dating such a guy
I once dated a girl who was in regular contact with her ex and was helping him whenever he needed it.
At first, I didn’t think anything about it until she started to secretly visit him and I found out.
A Lot of people might say you’re insecure, but I understand why you feel that way.
Even the most loving boyfriend can betray you when their ex is involved.
In this article, I will share the reasons why your boyfriend keeps helping his ex and what you can do about it.
If you’re ready, let’s dive in
My Boyfriend Still Helps His Ex Girlfriend: Possible Reasons
1. Shared Responsibility
Maybe he helps her because they have shared responsibilities together, like kids, business ventures or investments.
Although their relationship might have ended, your boyfriend might still feel he’s obligated to help her because of their shared responsibility.
If they have a child together he would want to help whenever she’s having challenges.
2. Guilt Or Closure
He might be feeling guilty for leaving her; hence, he wants to help whenever she needs it.
Maybe he feels guilty for hurting her, and he’s trying to satisfy his conscience by helping her, especially if he’s the one who walked away.
He might be helping her to compensate for how he treated her during their relationship.
3. Emotional Attachment
He might be helping her because he still has feelings for her.
It’s often the most common reason why a guy keeps helping his ex, even to the detriment of his current relationship.
He might still be in love with her but couldn’t get her back; hence, he wants to do anything she wants.
If your boyfriend speaks with his ex every day or calls you the same nickname he calls her, that might be a sign they still have an emotional connection.
Secondly, they may have a genuine friendship that makes your boyfriend want to help her anytime she’s in need.
4. Feeling Responsible
If his ex is facing significant challenges, he may feel responsible for her well-being, especially if she has health challenges and he was the primary source of support during their relationship.
He might not want to completely cut her off and would want to be there for her.
5. She’s Blackmailing Him
His ex-girlfriend might be blackmailing him with something she knows about him that nobody else does.
He might be trying to keep her quiet.
She could also be blackmailing him with the things she did for him.
I have seen many guys being victims of blackmail from their exes.
If your boyfriend is always trying to avoid the details of why he keeps helping her, it might be because of blackmail.
My Boyfriend Still Helps His Ex Girlfriend: How To Handle The Situation
6. Do A Self-Assessment
Before discussing the issue with your boyfriend, take some time to reflect on your feelings and identify what is bothering you.
Are you feeling uncomfortable, or do you have specific concerns about their interactions?
You have to be sure there’s something other than genuine help going on before confronting your boyfriend.
You also need to know what exactly he helps her with.
7. Communicate Your Feelings To Him
You have to discuss your feelings with him.
Initiate a calm and open conversation with your boyfriend. Choose a time and place where you both can talk without distractions.
Use “I” statements to express your feelings and concerns. For example, say, “I feel uncomfortable that you keep helping your ex,”
Try and listen to what he has to say.
If there’s nothing between them, he would take time to explain the situation and reassure you of his love and commitment to the relationship.
But if he gets angry and becomes defensive, it means he still has feelings for her.
He might even say you have no right to tell him not to help his ex in such a case it’s obvious they still have feelings for each other.
8. Express Your Boundaries
You have to clearly communicate your boundaries and expectations regarding his interactions with his ex.
Be specific about what makes you uncomfortable and why. It can help you both find common ground.
If your boyfriend is helping his ex because she has health challenges, then you have to be sympathetic and let him do his best.
But if your boyfriend keeps helping her for no reason, then it’s important you clearly communicate your displeasure about it.
If he doesn’t listen to you and keeps prioritizing his ex over you, that’s a sign he’s still in love with her and might be looking for a way to get her back.
In such a situation, you would need to prioritize your mental health and evaluate if the relationship is worth your efforts.
9. Trust Him
If your boyfriend has never given you cause to doubt his faithfulness, then you have to trust him even if he keeps helping his ex.
If he informs you before doing anything for her, then it means you have a special place in his heart.
If your boyfriend is a man who has nothing to hide and has always been honest with you, then trust him.
Your boyfriend might be a kind and generous person who loves to help others, even if it’s his ex.