I once dated a lady who was still in love with her ex,
It wasn’t a pleasant experience.
But wait, I am not trying to give you negative thoughts about your relationship.
You love him. I bet you do.
Some guys can make their ex look like an enemy, but they are in love with her.
In this article, we will explore some signs your boyfriend is still in love with his ex and what you can do about it.
If you are ready, let’s dive in.
Is My Boyfriend Still In Love With His Ex: 10 Alarming Signs
1. He Chats With Her In Secret

When a guy is still in love with his ex, He chats with her secretly and hides it from you.
Chatting with his ex is not wrong, but hiding it or saying bad things to her about you is a sign he’s still into her.
He could be with you and be chatting with her, which would make him hide his phone from you and not let you touch it.
When you finally find out he has been chatting with his ex, he becomes defensive and accuses you of jealousy.
2. He Compares You To His Ex
If your boyfriend constantly compares you to his ex and keeps wishing they are still dating, that’s a sign he is still in love with her.
It’s sad to be in love with a guy who always compares you with his ex.
What even hurts the most is if he compares you to his ex, who dumped him for another guy.
Some guys only ask you out when their ex doesn’t return despite their efforts.
Such guys can compare you to their ex at the slightest opportunity.
He can tell you his ex-girlfriend had everything he ever wanted in a woman; statements like that indicate he’s still in love with her.
3. He Goes On Secret Dates With Her

If your boyfriend goes on secret dates with his ex, that’s a sign he wants her back.
If he lies to get the opportunity to attend a secret date with his ex, you must beware.
I had a similar experience; on my ex-girlfriend’s birthday, she told me she didn’t want to celebrate it.
She just wanted to study for her college exams; I agreed, not knowing her ex took her to a special restaurant to celebrate her birthday.
If your man plans secret dates with his ex, that doesn’t look good.
4. She Visits Him When You Are Not Around
If your boyfriend’s ex visits him when you are not around, that’s a sign he still has feelings for her.
If your boyfriend is keeping her visiting a secret, there’s a chance he’s cheating on you with her.
Some guys won’t admit they have a friends-with-benefit relationship with their ex.
5. Your Instincts Inform You
You might feel your boyfriend is not over his ex-girlfriend due to his actions.
If he has been acting suspiciously concerning issues about his ex or chatting with her secretly, these are signs he’s not over her.
It’s easy to ignore your instincts, but if the thought that your boyfriend is still into his ex keeps coming, that’s a sure sign your instincts could be right.
6. He Acts Like He’s Single Around Her
If your boyfriend doesn’t give you any attention when his ex is around (that’s if you know her),
Or he completely ignores you and focuses on her when she’s in your midst. That’s a sign he’s not over her.
If he tries to act single around her or introduces you as just a friend, that is a red flag you can’t ignore.
7. She Disrespects You

If your boyfriend’s ex has no respect for you, that’s a sign she believes she can get your man whenever she wants.
She might disrespect you if she feels you are not a threat to her.
If your boyfriend doesn’t caution her, he’s still into her.
Maybe she’s aware your boyfriend still has feelings for her, and she might use it to spite you.
He might have told her you don’t mean anything to him, and she’s the only one he truly loves.
My Boyfriend Is Still In Love With His Ex: What To Do?
8. Talk To Him About It
I know it’s a difficult issue to talk about because he can easily deny it and accuse you of being insecure.
But it shouldn’t stop you from talking to him about what you’ve observed and why you believe he is still in love with his ex.
Most men would never admit they still have feelings for their ex. They would rather turn it around and blame you for being jealous.
It’s quite a difficult conversation to have with your boyfriend.
But if you truly love him, bring it up and give him instances where his actions convinced you he was still into his ex.
9. Give Him Space To Figure Things Out
After you’ve spoken to him, give him time to clear his head and decide what he wants.
You are not forcing him to choose; you are just giving him space to decide what he wants.
It’s okay if he wants to go back to his ex. At least you know where you stand and won’t waste your time in a relationship going nowhere.
10. If Things Don’t Change, Then Quit
If you’ve given him space and he decides to be fully committed to you, that’s great.
But if he continues doing what he did before, you should quit.
Someone is out there that would love you without giving you drama.
You deserve to be in a relationship with a guy who has healed from his past relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do You Know If Your Boyfriend Is Still In Love With His Ex
He chats with her secretly
When he talks about her, his mood changes
He invites her over when you are not around
He wants her to believe he’s still single
He hides your relationship from her
He won’t delete photos of his ex
Why Does My Boyfriend Defend His Ex?
Probably because he’s still in love with her; if your boyfriend is fond of defending his ex, even when she’s wrong, it means he’s still into her.
The worst part is if he defends his ex against you.
If your boyfriend always supports his ex no matter what she does wrong, that’s a sign he still loves her and prefers her over you.
Is It A Red Flag If He Talks To His Ex?
It’s not a red flag depending on the situation.
If they have a kid together, then they will always need to talk to each other.
If he’s open to you and tells you about his conversation with his ex, he won’t get back together with her.
But if he keeps everything a secret and starts to act suspicious, that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.