I could imagine you’re dating a guy that never wants to spend time with you.
When he’s with you, he could be doing something else, such as playing games on his phone or scrolling through social media for the latest gist.
He won’t give you any attention; you can be him yet feel lonely.
He could sometimes leave you in the house and hang out with friends.
I can imagine how hurtful and frustrating it is to visit your boyfriend, but he has no time for you.
It can affect your self-esteem and make you feel you’re not good enough for him.
If you’ve wondered why your boyfriend never wants to spend time with you, this article is for you.
My Boyfriend Never Wants To Spend Time With Me: Why He Acts That Way
1. He Has Someone Else
When a guy is dating someone apart from you, he would often not want to spend much time with you,
Especially when his relationship with the other woman is new
When love is new, it brings a lot of excitement and fun.
If he was spending time with you before and suddenly started giving excuses, that could be a sign he’s dating someone else.
If he’s not happy when you visit, or he keeps chatting and laughing with someone on the phone while ignoring you,
That’s a sign he’s cheating.
You might also notice he hardly calls you; even when you message him on social media, he hardly responds.
When a guy isn’t excited to see or communicate with you, he’s likely dating someone else.
2. He’s Using It As An Exit Plan
Your boyfriend might not know how to tell you he wants to quit,
He could be acting in a way that would send you the message that it’s over.
If he acts cold and distant whenever you are around, he gets angry with you at the slightest provocation,
Or takes critical decisions without telling you; these are signs he doesn’t want you anymore.
Your boyfriend might want you to get angry and walk away.
3. He’s Complacent
It often occurs in long-term relationships or if you’ve been dating for a long time.
The fact that you’ve been dating him for years can make him complacent or take you for granted.
He may not want to spend time with you because nothing is exciting anymore, unlike when the relationship was new.
Some people don’t know making a long-term relationship exciting requires work.
Some guys are quick to start dating someone else when the excitement of the current relationship declines.
Maybe he’s now bored of the relationship because it looks too predictable and lacks adventure.
If your boyfriend has made any complaints that the relationship is becoming a chore
Or he’s bored, that might be why he doesn’t want to spend time with you.
4. He’s Dealing With Life Issues
Some guys exhibit unusual behaviour when they are struggling with life challenges.
Maybe he doesn’t spend time with you because he’s under financial or work pressure and wants to be alone.
If you notice he’s generally unhappy about his life and often lost in thought,
It could mean he’s dealing with life’s challenges and wants some space for himself.
Although this is not the right approach to facing challenges, some men believe they shouldn’t bother their girlfriends about it.
They would often keep issues to themselves and find a way to deal with them.
5. He’s Battling Resentment
Maybe he doesn’t want to spend time with you because he resents you.
Men are good at being silent when they are hurt and prefer to take decisions against you in their hearts.
If you’ve been disrespectful or cheated on him in the past, that could be why he doesn’t want to spend time with you due to resentment.
6. He Feels Suffocated
Sometimes ladies want their man to spend all his time with them, which is not always possible due to other commitments.
Maybe your boyfriend spends a few hours with you, and you want more.
It’s important to realize that boyfriend can’t spend 24 hours with you.
Besides work, he sometimes needs to engage in other social activities without you.
It’s not even healthy if your boyfriend doesn’t have anyone he’s close to except you.
You should give him space to hang out with his friends so he won’t feel suffocated.
My Boyfriend Never Wants To Spend Time With Me: How To Handle The Situation
7. Talk To Him About It
Maybe he hasn’t noticed he doesn’t spend time with you.
He might think you are satisfied with how things are in the relationship.
Most women don’t discuss issues that hurt them with their boyfriends; they prefer to be silent about it.
Tell him he doesn’t spend time with you as you desire, and listen to his response.
Try not to accuse him of anything that can make him defensive and render the conversation fruitless.
I believe he would ask you, “why do you think so” you can bring up instances where he didn’t give you the needed attention.
8. Activate His Desire For Adventure
Men love adventure and could go to any length to get it.
If you can’t activate his desire for adventure, he may never want to spend time with you.
Most men don’t like boring women.
They like women who are spontaneous and drive them for adventure.
If you are too predictable, you become boring, and your man might not want to spend time with you.
How do you activate his desire for adventure?
There are a few things you can do, some of them are listed below:
Take him out to an unexpected dinner
Surprise him with a mini vacation on a small budget
You can send him a small gift at the office
Write a romantic love note and put it in his pocket
These little things get a man’s attention and make him excited.
Men love it when you are unpredictable; it makes them look forward to your next move.
Find new activities you can do together that would bring fun and excitement.
9. Get Busy
It would help if you pursued other interests apart from your relationship.
If your boyfriend is your only source of happiness, the relationship can quickly become toxic.
When he’s aware he’s the only one who makes you happy, he can start taking you for granted.
Have friends you hang out with apart from your boyfriend.
You won’t be too reliant on your boyfriend for attention if you have other friends.
Organize dinner or meet-ups with your friends and have a great time.
A healthy relationship involves two independent people coming together to build a strong connection.
10. Analyze Your Emotional Needs
Take time to analyze your emotional needs in the relationship to determine your next action.
If you want your man to always be around you whenever he’s free,
You have to decide whether your current relationship satisfies your desire.
There’s no crime in wanting a man who spends most of his time with you; if your boyfriend isn’t doing it, you can quit.
If your boyfriend doesn’t change after you’ve applied the strategies in this article,
That proves he doesn’t want the relationship anymore, and you should quit.
Frequently Asked Questions
My Boyfriend Says He Loves Me But He Never Spends Time With Me?
There are many reasons your boyfriend might not be spending time with you.
It might be due to work or a busy schedule, but that is not enough reason for him to starve you of attention.
If you love someone, you will create time for them, no matter your busy schedule.
Maybe he doesn’t see you as a priority; hence he never spends time with you.
I recommend you have an honest discussion with him about his attitude.
If he truly loves you, he would adjust after the conversation, but if he doesn’t change, that’s proof you should walk away.
You deserve better, and there’s a man out there who would give you the desired attention.
Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend Because He Doesn’t Have Time For Me?
There is no straight answer to give; it depends on certain factors, which I will discuss below:
If he treats you like a queen whenever he’s around, but he’s busy most times due to work or a tight schedule, you can find a way to cope with the situation.
You can talk to him to create more time for the relationship.
But if, on the other hand, he doesn’t treat you right and makes you feel worthless,
And is never available to spend time with you, then you should quit because such a guy might not change anytime soon.
My Boyfriend Has No Time For Me Because Of School
There is nothing you can do except to talk to him and plan together how to create time for each other.
His education is important, but you also need his attention.
If you are determined to make it work, then you would need to compromise for each other.
What To Do When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Spend Time With You
There are a few things you can do, and they are listed below:
Talk to him about it.
After you’ve spoken to him, give him some time to make changes
Quit the relationship if nothing changes
How Can I Make My Boyfriend Want To Spend Time With Me
You can apply the strategies below:
Try to be more interesting in conversations (men don’t like boring women)
You can do something to surprise him
Find something you can do together (like watching a movie or going to outdoor sports events)
Try sending him a small gift at his office
Be sensitive to his mood changes and try to be there for him.