It was a cloudy day, sometime in August 2017.
My sister invited her friend to visit the house.
Before that time, I had never seen her with my sister; I didn’t even know my sister had a friend like that; she was beautiful and friendly.
We all had a nice time that day with great fun and excitement,
When she was about to leave, I collected her number (of course, you should know I was going to let her go)
That was how we started talking on the phone.
We got along so well, and she was very open about her life and what she wanted for the future.
After a few months of friendship, I asked her out, and she said YES.
That was how our relationship started. It’s been five years, and our relationship is amazing.
She has held my attention from the first day of the relationship up till today.
What has she done to make her the undisputed queen of my heart?
What’s her secret recipe for holding down my attention all these years?
In this article, I will share tips and strategies; you can use to get your boyfriend’s attention whether the relationship is 5 days, 5 months, or 5 years.
If you’ve been looking for a step-by-step guide on how to get your boyfriend’s attention, then this article is for you.
If you are ready, which I believe you are, let’s dive in
How to Get Your Boyfriend’s Attention: 13 Secret Ways
1. Don’t Give Him Stress
Most men hate stress. They hate it even more when it’s coming from their girlfriend.
I know most ladies like drama in their relationship, but most men hate it.
If you constantly nag, complain or act suspiciously, you will soon lose your boyfriend’s attention.
Men want a woman that is easy to get along with; that’s the most attractive quality about my girlfriend.
It’s what I love so much about her.
She doesn’t give me stress. And she makes it so easy to love her.
She has never given me a reason to doubt her faithfulness to the relationship.
I have never had to suspect her of cheating because she gives me access to everything if I want to.
I have never seen her run off to take a call. Her lifestyle gives me so much peace of mind, which most men want.
2. Give Him Space
Most ladies don’t realize that sometimes men need space.
That is not to say he doesn’t love you, but sometimes a man wants to be on his own.
So many women nag and complain that their boyfriend doesn’t spend every minute and every second with them.
That’s because men sometimes need space to do what men like such as watching football, playing video games, or chatting with their friends; that doesn’t mean he’s cheating on you.
Sometimes just give him space to be who he wants to be; he will come back to you when he’s done.
My girlfriend can be with me, and I am on the computer working (like typing this article). She just let me do my thing without complaining.
When I am through, I go back to her arms, and we watch Netflix.
3. Surprise Him
Surprise is one way to get your boyfriend’s attention.
It could be taking him out on a surprise date that he didn’t expect.
Recently my girlfriend asked me out for a surprise dinner, and she had often bought me surprise gifts when I least expected them.
She’s just unpredictable, and if you want to get your boyfriend’s attention, you have to be unpredictable.
4. Communicate Your Needs.
As a relationship coach, there’s something I have noticed among many women, which is they hardly communicate with their partner how they feel.
Some would prefer to go on forums and complain about their boyfriend
Rather than talk with their boyfriend directly about their need for attention.
They would assume that their boyfriend should know they need his attention rather than tell him.
It doesn’t work like that with men, men are not as emotionally sensitive as women, and he might hardly know you lack his attention if you don’t tell him.
You have to be more expressive of your desire for more attention from your boyfriend, making him more aware.
5. Focus On Your Life and Success
If your boyfriend is your only source of happiness, you are in trouble.
Such mindsets make you needy and would drive him away from you.
It would help if you focused on your life and happiness.
Go out with your girlfriends and have a great time, plan a girl’s night out,
Don’t focus all your attention on your boyfriend because you would expect him to do the same.
If he thinks you are too needy, he will slowly begin to avoid you, which might ultimately destroy the relationship. Get a life outside him.
6. Don’t Be His Mother
No guy wants to date a girl who acts like his mother. Nagging and complaining about what he did right or wrong will not help you get his attention.
Instead, it would make him emotionally unavailable.
If you want your boyfriend to avoid you at the slightest opportunity, then try acting like his mom.
Most guys don’t want a woman who would keep nagging when they make mistakes; instead, they want a woman that would inspire them to become better.
Men generally hate nagging and avoid it, especially if it’s coming from their girlfriend.
7. Don’t Put Him under Marital Pressure.
I know it gets to a point when you’re dating a guy for a while and expect when he would pop the “will you marry me” question,
which is great, but don’t put your boyfriend under pressure to propose to you.
Most men get uncomfortable when they are under pressure.
I am not saying you shouldn’t talk about getting married but bring it up once in a while rather than talk about it every day until your boyfriend gets frustrated.
I have been with my girlfriend for over 5 years, and not until recently did she ever talk about getting married.
I know already that she’s the “one” she didn’t have to talk about it every day for me to decide I was going to be with her long-term.
One of the fastest ways to get a man frustrated is for you to talk about marriage every minute of the day.
8. Make Yourself Look Beautiful and Attractive
If you want to get your boyfriend’s attention, you must look beautiful with beautiful clothes and attractive makeup.
Most ladies believe the moment they are in a relationship with a guy, they don’t need to look their best anymore.
They are no longer attractive, and as such, they don’t grab their partner’s attention with a stunning outfit.
9. Be Supportive Of His Dream and Aspirations
A girlfriend that supports his partner’s dream automatically gets his attention.
Support and encourage his dream, even if it sounds crazy.
My girlfriend has always supported my dream of starting an online business. Her belief that I can succeed at it has been a major driving force for me.
That’s one of the reasons that make me think about her even when she’s not with me, her undying support for my dream and aspirations.
10. Learn To Say No
If your boyfriend gets you to say yes to anything he wants, especially to things that are not convenient for you, you won’t get his attention.
Instead, he would start taking you for granted.
Learn to say NO to him. It might startle him at first,
Or even make him angry, but he would come to terms with the fact that you know what you want and have the self-confidence to stand with it.
It would make him respect you and give you his undivided attention.
Don’t be a YES girl to everything your guy wants; develop self-confidence to say NO, that would get his attention.
Stop acting like you are begging for his attention.
My girlfriend is one stubborn woman that can say “No” to me without blinking an eye, which gets my attention.
11. Learn To Tolerate or Like His Interest
Many girls keep asking, “How do you get your boyfriend to pay more attention to you and not his video games.”
These girls didn’t bother to learn the game so that they join their boyfriend when he’s playing.
If you want to get your guy’s attention, learn to tolerate or like his interest, including playing video games and watching football together.
My girlfriend knows that I spend the most time on the computer, and as a woman who isn’t tech-savvy, she decided to learn how to use a Microsoft word proficiently.
She helped me type a section of this article. Rather than complain, your boyfriend is always playing call of duty; you can learn how to play the game and join him whenever he’s playing.
He would be very excited and give you all the attention you need when the game is over.
12. Don’t Be a High Maintenance Girlfriend.
Some girls are nothing but high maintenance in terms of finances.
They want their boyfriend to take them shopping and spend a lot of money he might not even have.
They make excessive demands from wanting the guy to buy expensive hair, shoes, and bags to trending fashion clothes.
They ask for money daily, such women would hardly get the attention of their boyfriend, and they are more likely to make him lose interest due to the huge financial commitment involved.
If you are a high-maintenance girlfriend, your boyfriend would hardly give you any attention because he might resent you due to the high cost of maintaining the relationship.
13. Speak His Love Language
According to Dr. Gary Chapman in his book the five love languages; everyone has a different love language.
When you speak your guy’s love language, you will most likely get his attention.
The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service.
I highly recommend you get the book. It would give you an in-depth insight into each love language, making it easy for you to identify his primary love language.
If he’s a word of affirmation guy, then speak more of sweet words, words of appreciation and encouragement
And in return, he would give you all the attention you need since you speak his love language.
Frequently Asked Questions
What to Do When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Give You Enough Attention?
If you are in a relationship and don’t get enough attention from your boyfriend, you can apply the following tips.
Tell Him You Need More Of His Attention: most ladies complaining that they don’t get enough attention from their boyfriend have never told him how they feel.
They assume he should know he’s not giving enough attention, but that is not always true because he doesn’t know how much of his attention you need if you don’t tell him.
Get Busy: the truth is the busier you are, the less you would complain about the lack of attention from your boyfriend.
Pursue your dreams and go out with your friends to a party and have a good time. The more independent you are, the less you will complain about his lack of attention.
Write Him A Letter: many women have not tried this strategy.
Write him a romantic love letter appreciating him and telling him how you feel about his lack of attention; remind him that you both need each other for the relationship to work.
This strategy might look very simple but trust me, it works.
How Do I Get My Boyfriend’s Attention When Talking To Him?
These days, many things can distract your partner from listening to you, such as his smartphone, social media, and video games.
If you want to discuss something important with him, tell him to keep his phone aside for both of you to have a conversation.
You can tell him something like, “Baby, can you keep your phone for a while and pay attention to me, please.”
How Do You Tell Your Partner You Need More Attention?
Schedule a conversation time with him, ensure he keeps his phone aside, and talk to him from your heart telling him you need more of his attention.
You can use these lines “baby, thank you for all you do, and I appreciate your efforts, but recently, I am not getting enough of your attention; what can we do to fix it.”
How Do You Get Your Boyfriend To Spend More Time With You And Pay Attention To You Instead Of His Phone?
The first thing is to let him know you want him to pay more attention to you and not his phone.
You can get a movie or play a song you both enjoy to get him in a romantic mood, and then you would have all the attention you need.
Getting him a gift can also make him give you more of his attention.
What Can I Do To Get The Attention Of A Busy Boyfriend?
If you are dating a guy who’s always busy due to work or other projects, you can use the tips below.
Surprise Him At Work: little things like visiting him at work or sending him lunch at the office can make him feel appreciated and loved, making him give you more attention.
Speak Up: let him know you understand that he’s busy, but you also need his attention. He should create time for you if he wants the relationship to work.
Make Plans When He’s Available: your boyfriend can’t be busy the whole day; he will certainly have some free time he can spend with you.
Please take advantage of the time he’s available and go on dates, watch a movie at the cinema, etc.