He likes me but started dating someone else
If he likes me, why is he dating someone else:
It hurts – like getting punched in the gut.
You’ve been rejected.
There’s a guy you sense is attracted to you. And you’re certainly attracted to him. But it’s not working. And that’s because he’s hesitating.
He’s pulling away. And then, he started to date someone else.
And it’d never occur to you that if you’re being rejected, it’s something good. For most of us, our go-to is, “there must be something about us that’s defective.”
We aren’t pretty enough, funny enough, too small, too big, not sexy enough. Too this, too that …
So, we tend to look for the negative because it only makes sense that we’re being rejected because there’s something we lack.
Hardly ever do we think the exact opposite.
Well, it’s not your fault.
Rosemary, for example, was in shambles when something similar happened to her.
She’s been seeing Larry for three months. They moved pretty quickly to seeing each other multiple times a week.
And on days when they couldn’t see each other, they’d play online games and chat.
She’d grown pretty used to having him around and really started to fall for him.
As he’d often bring her flowers, take her stargazing, call her “baby” and all….
The feeling was real. The vibe was mutual. It was obvious they both liked each other.
She really fell for him. And was pretty sure he was into her, too.
But then, she broke into tears when what felt like a semi-truck hit her in the gut. And that’s because Larry started dating someone else.
She was hurt.
If he likes me, why is he dating someone else? Rosemary was confused.
Maybe you’re in a similar situation. And you’re thinking to yourself, he likes me but started dating someone else: Why would he do that?
Okay, while it could be his entire fault, it may also be that there are a few things you failed to do.
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He Likes Me But Started Dating Someone Else (7 Weird Reasons)
1. He’s Scared Of His Feelings
In dating, everybody is scared.
All the weirdness in dating comes from being afraid.
The fear of being hurt
The fear of being hurt hinders us from showing our feelings
The only reason you’ll succeed is if you have good skills – which comes from educating yourself.
That’s why I want to share this with you.
I’ve had some women reach out to me over having the same issue.
This construct may be very confusing to you if you’re dating a guy right now or trying to express your feelings.
You know he’s attracted to you; there’s a mutual vibe. It’s going beautifully well.
He likes you…
But every time you try to move things forwards, he throws a roadblock in your way.
A lot of girls have done it to me in the past. And at first, I thought I wasn’t just good enough for them or something…
Like, maybe something was wrong with me.
But then, I later realized it wasn’t me at all. It was them.
Now, most of us would think, oh, that means they aren’t interested.
And you might even ask them, “so what are you looking for?”
They may deflect and say, “Well, I’m not really looking for anything. Whatever, whatever…”
I just want to go with the flow. I don’t think about it much. It’s no big deal. Blah blah blah
Here’s the kicker:
“These people are just the opposite of what they are telling you.”
So, if you’ve been feeling like you’re losing your mind and wondering if you’re delusional.
And thinking to yourself, “How come I’m attracted to someone; I feel something is going on and then it gets to a certain point, they push me back.”
Like me, you might be thinking there’s something wrong with you. And thinking maybe your perspective is off.
And when you tell people about it, they say, “Hey, they’re not interested in you.”
Here is a bizarre situation. It confuses me too because it’s so simple to walk around it.
But here is the shocking reason some people do that…
“They are so terrified of their own feeling that all they know is to put a roadblock in your way in their state of being overwhelmed.”
I have met girls, and all I told them was to give the green light.
If you like me, quit wasting time and give me the green light so we can get this thing going.
Poof!
The self-defence that we have is absolutely amazing to me.
People would rather pretend that they don’t like you and silently suffer and even pay money to a coach to help them…
When all they have to do is say, “I like you, too. I love spending time with you. I love chatting or talking with you…”
Like any kind of positive re-enforcement that would make the other people think, “Oh, this is a green light. I can continue.”
But when you don’t hear that, you’re going to be confused because everything inside of you is saying…
“But they are attracted to me. We get along really well. I like being with them, and they like being with me.”
But every time you try to take it to the next level, you get kicked sideways.
If this is happening to you, you aren’t delusional. Nothing is wrong with you.
And if you’re thinking, he is seeing someone else what do I do…
There’s something you can do about it. And I’m going to share it with you in a moment.
But first, let’s consider another reason he likes you but started to date someone else.
2. He Thinks You’re Out Of His League.
If you are beginning to think, if he likes me, why is he dating someone else? He may think you’re better than him…
That you’re way out of his league
That he doesn’t deserve you
Here’s what I mean:
A few years ago, there was the pretty girl I was seeing.
I liked her. We got along so well. We would spend time together just talking almost about anything.
The chemistry was pretty intense. And the connection was unbelievably strong.
I was really into her. And it was pretty obvious she was into me, too.
She even told me she liked me and wished we could date.
But there was a problem.
The moment I expressed my feelings for her and wanted us to be exclusive, she started to avoid me.
She just pulled away for no reason.
But I thought that was what she wanted all along.
At first, I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
She stopped picking up my calls. Stopped visiting, chatting me up and even replying to my text.
I thought I had done something wrong. Maybe said something I shouldn’t have said or something…
A couple of months later, she started dating another guy.
Honestly, I felt not good enough for her.
Like, maybe there was something she noticed in me that was a turn-off.
It turns out the guy she started to date was a loser – a scumbag.
I couldn’t understand why she left a guy like me to date such an asshole.
Along the line, however, she later confessed that she thought I was too good for her.
The kind of love I was showing her was too good to be true. No one had ever loved her like that.
It was too scary.
She had to settle for what she believed was good for her. What she believed she deserved.
See, people settle for what they believe they deserve based on their self-esteem. And love isn’t any different.
So, it’s possible this guy started to date someone else because he thinks you’re out of his league.
3. He’s Playing Games With You.
One moment he confesses his love for you, before you know it, he tells you he’s seeing another girl.
He’s probably playing mind games with you.
It’s all fun to him. After all, he doesn’t mind playing with your feelings.
And after all is said and done, when he’s succeeded in waking up your feelings for him, he can just walk away at a heightened state.
And that’s because you aren’t exclusive yet. So, the guy thinks it’s nothing serious.
The fact that you went outing a few occasions and he told you that you’re a wonderful person doesn’t make it official.
But, rather than working on improving and trying to move things forward, he makes the blunder of dating another woman.
Why?
Perhaps he’s interested in seeing how you react.
A guy like this enjoys manipulating your emotions to fall for him just to see how lovesick and miserable you are without him.
In other words, he takes pride in being chased and wanted by women.
Being the guy women fight over boosts his ego and self-esteem.
But believe me when I say that games will not get him very far.
4. He’s Not Ready To Commit.
He may say he’s in love with you or something, but the moment you begin to show you have same feelings towards him, he may run away because he’s terrified of commitment.
He doesn’t take your interest in him seriously because he isn’t that into you. It’s not in his plans to be looking for a serious relationship at the moment.
However, once you express your feelings for him, the entire story between you two shifts to a new level.
Seeing each other at this point would ostensibly lead to what he doesn’t want, something more substantial. And perhaps he isn’t prepared to do so right now.
If he’s scared to commit, he’ll start planning what he’ll say the moment you express your reservations about making the romantic love exclusive.
He doesn’t want to move in that direction, so he ensures he doesn’t find himself in such situation.
5. You May Be His Backup Plan.
“My boyfriend told me he liked me, but he started dating someone else. Am I just his backup until something better comes along?”
Sadly, this could be the case. I understand that the facing hard reality hurts, but you must face it.
He might have said he’s into you to put you to the test.
He was curious to see how you’d respond, and as your cheeks blushed with excitement, he knew you’d be the ideal girl to have as a backup.
When a man notices that a lady is more interested in him than he is in her, he could seize the opportunity to guarantee his spot in her heart.
He makes her obsessed with him and head over heels with some powerful words and ensures she keeps thinking of him.
Meanwhile, he dates other ladies, and they have a good time, and then he returns to you – the lady he knows can’t wait to have him when he becomes jaded (or when all of them leave him).
You already know what to do if you’ve realized that your boyfriend is attempting to turn you to his fallback plan.
Don’t even give him the impression that you’d agree to this behaviour.
If you can’t be his first choice, don’t settle for being an option. Period
6. He’s Not Interested In You.
I know this can be harsh.
But to be honest, one of the possible reasons he says he loves you but is seeing someone else is that he isn’t romantically interested in you.
To be honest, one of the most plausible reasons he said he likes you but is dating someone else is that he isn’t romantically attracted to you.
Yeah, he probably stated emphatically that he wishes to learn more about you and he cares for you.
But, to tell you the truth, those were just emotional words he used to sweet you up your feet. Always pay attention to his actions if they contradict his words.
Perhaps he was after how you’d react. Or maybe he was at a loss for words. He suddenly realized he had made a blunder when the words left his mouth.
When you notice that he isn’t actively putting effort to demonstrate that his intentions are genuine, you know it’s time to give up.
Obviously, you won’t get a chance with him is he’s dating other girls. Even though he had the option of dating you, he chose to date someone else.
Think about it; there’s not much reason to stay because he’s already shown you his true feelings.
He likes me but started dating someone else: Is it my fault?
Now, let me tell you where you probably messed things up.
7. You Didn’t Make Up Your Mind On Time.
If a guy likes you and expresses his feelings for you, that’s awesome.
It takes a lot of guts and vulnerability to do that.
Why?
Because you could reject him, and everyone’s afraid of rejection
But what I don’t understand is when some women make it look as if something is wrong with you for asking them out.
Or expressing your feelings for them
They try to make you go through hoops to prove your love for them.
If a guy likes you and you like him, why would you want to stress him?
Why would it take forever for you to make up your mind?
If a guy told you he was interested in you romantically, but you said you needed time to think about it, it’s possible the guy got fed up with waiting.
Especially if you kept him waiting for months and months
I’m not saying you should just grab him immediately and say, YES.
But, you had plenty of chances to express your feelings for him, too, but for whatever reasons, you didn’t take advantage of them. The guy felt it was pointless to wait for you, so he began seeing someone else.
And now, you’re angry because he’s with someone else, and you’re blaming him for everything.
You probably thought you had a lot of options.
Now, if that’s the case, it’s on you.
But, there’s a way out.
What do you do when a guy starts seeing someone else?
By now, you’ve probably seen where things went wrong. And you want to know what exactly to do next.
What do you do when the person you like is dating someone else?
He Likes Me But Started Dating Someone Else: What Do I Do Now?
Although it appears to be a difficult situation to escape, there are tips you can apply to alleviate the pain.
Despite how painful this realization is, it’s not yet time to lose hope on love.
If you don’t want to come across as desperate when the man who appears to like you starts seeing another girl, you must be careful with how you approach the situation.
So, If You Find Yourself In A Similar Situation, Here Are Some Dos And Don’ts.
1. Minimize Your Fears
The only message I can give you is if you think of them like scared animals (when they’re afraid to let out their feelings), if you are constant and reassuring and calm and have a very positive outlook…
And if you can minimize your own concerns and fears and allow them the space to interact with you, you will notice that they will start to trust and be ready to move forward.
So, if you have someone who’s terrified or even looks nonchalant, this is the best move that you can make.
2. Be Self-Secured.
You may get a flip answer that’s supposed to throw you off balance; I understand it’s confusing.
But you have to trust your gut because, often in dating, what we’re seeing and hearing from the other person is the exact opposite of what they’re feeling.
However, I’d suggest you put a time frame on this to your benefit.
Nobody can come in and out of your life, stir you up, and walk away.
Don’t let anyone wake up your feelings and not be ready to move forward on it.
Give it a month or two or maybe 3 just to see how they react.
Afterwards, if there’s nothing positive and encouraging from them, move on to someone else.
We should never put our life on hold for another person.
Everybody is worth exploring.
And again, if they have that kind of problem right off the bat, that may be something you want to reconsider.
3. Don’t Chase Him
Yes, he has previously stated that he’s interested in you, but you can’t deny the fact that he is currently seeing someone else.
So, it’s pointless pursuing him any longer; now is the time to let him go.
Don’t fight to regain his interest in an immature manner. That’s not who you are, and you should never lower your standards.
He’s allowed to make his own decision, and you’re clearly not his first choice.
Do you wish to keep pursing him after he has made it clear that he doesn’t care enough about you to choose you over another woman?
Furthermore, pursuing him will only stroke his pride and make it seem he offended you by choosing someone else. And believe me; he doesn’t deserve that kind of attention.
So, for your own sake, if you’re thinking about chasing him down to prove him wrong about his decision, you should stop.
Because the more you try to do that, the more he’ll resist it.
No need.
4. You Aren’t Less Lovable.
When guys decide to pursue someone else, many women tend to play the blame game on ourselves. We come up with excuses why we’re the cause of a failed romance.
And you’re probably thinking the same thing right now. Maybe as a result of something you did (or didn’t do), this guy who claims to like you began dating another woman.
Your self-confidence begins to plummet after that. It seems like you’ll never meet someone who will love you in the way you deserve.
I understand that we all feel inadequate at times.
However, even though he pursued someone else doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of love. It doesn’t make you any less attractive.