I don’t think he loves me.
He’s just pretending.
Why would someone pretend to love you:
Why lead people on and pretend to want a relationship?
In talking to a guy,
What are the signs he’s pretending to be interested and wanting a relationship when it’s not truly his intentions?
How do you tell if a guy is playing with your emotions?
It’s a terrible feeling,
And if that’s the conversations going on inside your head, you aren’t alone.
In this article, I’ll show you signs he’s faking his love for you.
In fact, if you’ve been eager to know whether your man truly loves you,
You’ll finally be able to get to the bottom of it after reading this article.
So, let’s jump in.
11 Hidden Signs He Pretends To Love You.
1. He Isn’t Always Available
This is one of the sure-fire signs he’s pretending to love you, or he’s using you.
I mean, let’s face it:
A man that loves you will always prioritize you no matter what.
He would often want to see you, talk to you, and chat with you.
If a man truly loves you, he will do everything he can to protect you.
There are no ifs or buts in this situation.
He’ll be the first one to come to your aid when you’re sick and in need of assistance.
So, if your boyfriend is never available or doesn’t prioritize you,
It’s most likely he’s pretending to be in love with you.
Sure, there will be instances when he is unavoidably absent,
But if this is the case every time and he never prioritizes you,
It is a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
When you’re having a heated debate with another person,
He’ll naturally take sides with you.
And if he refuses to defend you when things go wrong,
It could imply one of two things:
He is self-centered and only thinks about himself.
He isn’t truly in love with you.
2. He’s Just After What He Can Get From You.
If you’ve been wondering: is he just using me?
Chances are, he is using you.
A man may claim to love you but want a variety of things from you.
Like boost his ego, money, connections, attention,
Or he may want to sleep with you
And basically anything he thinks he can get from you.
As a result, he’ll pretend to love you to keep getting what he wants.
On the other hand, a healthy relationship is based on “give and take,”
With a partner who loves you and gives to you.
He’ll even go out of his way to give you more.
Besides, what’s love without giving?
Any supposed love that does not give is clearly not love.
3. He’s Words And Actions Aren’t Consistent.
Words don’t earn trust; only repeated actions do.
And once trust is broken, sorry means nothing.
I guess you already know this.
If he says one thing today and does the exact opposite tomorrow, of what use is that?
And not only that, it’s even worse if he does it consistently over time.
And only says “sorry.”
So keep an eye on how consistent his words and actions are.
Do they match?
If not, It’s one of the signs he pretends to love you.
4. He Keeps Either You Or The Relationship A Secret.
I recently saw a quote on social media that says, “You can’t love someone quietly.”
And it struck a chord with me because it dawned on me that love can’t be kept a secret.
It can’t be ambiguous to you or others.
If a man truly loves you, there is no way he would wish to keep you or be kept a secret.
In fact, if your family and friends are unaware of his relationship with you, he will feel insulted.
Don’t get me wrong: some people confuse this with being public; others prefer privacy,
But there is a distinction between keeping a relationship private and keeping it hidden.
He could be keeping your relationship private if he doesn’t talk about it on social media, though that isn’t always the case.
He probably doesn’t want to show you on social media because he’s cheating
But hiding you from people around him means he’s keeping you a secret.
And it’s a big sign that he pretends to love you.
This is a major warning sign.
If someone is serious about the relationship,
They will eagerly introduce you to their family and friends.
They’d like to know what they think of you. It’s also true in the other direction.
If he keeps avoiding the subject, he’s probably not as into you as he claims.
5. He’s More Interested In Physical Intimacy
Let’s be clear:
A man who loves you will be DEEPLY attracted to you physically and burning with passion just for you.
He’ll want to get close to you and touch you.
There will be intense chemistry and desire.
The chemistry and attraction will be obvious even if you’re in a “no-sex” relationship.
However, a man can be physically attracted to you even if he has no affection for you.
How do you tell the difference between the two?
A man who truly loves you will be more interested in getting to know you;
He will want to learn about you and what makes you tick… than sleeping with you.
But if he’s pretending to love you,
Your relationship will be solely about physical intimacy rather than getting to connect and know each other.
6. Your Family And Friends Don’t Like Him.
We underestimate how perceptive our relatives and friends are.
Research says that our loved ones have a more accurate perspective of our relationships than we actually do.
These people have known you for a long time and care about you;
Believe it or not, they know you and have a good sense of what is best for you.
Now, there are occasions where friends and family members can disapprove of your relationship out of jealousy or selfish reasons,
But if the majority of them don’t like your man,
Take a step back and listen to them or even investigate.
7. He’s Cheated On You
Even if he tells you he loves you and apologizes excessively when you discover he’s been cheating on you,
You have to wonder if he’s genuine with his confession.
Because here’s the truth:
If he has cheated on you, it could be a sign he never loved you,
Or he isn’t in love with you.
After all, when we commit to each other in a relationship, we must remain monogamous.
If this happened in the past and you believe he has made a genuine effort since then, he might love you.
However, if he doesn’t appear to be truly sorry,
It could hint that he doesn’t care about you or doesn’t love you.
If he can’t even feel bad about cheating on you, he may not love you.
8. He’s A Player
This is more for the women who have only been dating this guy for a short time and are unsure if he is serious about a relationship.
You must be extremely cautious of the players in these instances.
Players are masters at making it appear as if they’re truly interested in a woman,
When what they really want is to get under her pants.
How do you know he’s a player, you asked?
Is he prone to exaggerating himself? Is he able to control his ego?
If he’s continuously praising himself and has a big ego,
There’s a big probability he’s playing you and not being completely honest.
Guys who boast and are full of themselves seldom tell the truth.
They’ve created a fantasy universe in which they’re infallible and wonderful,
And the rest of the world should worship and adore them.
9. He Flirts With Other Women.
Suppose your boyfriend hasn’t given up his flirty behavior after a few dates with you or after being exclusive.
In that case, it’s possible that he isn’t as invested in the relationship as you are.
This may upset you,
So be honest with yourself about whether or not you think it’s acceptable for him to do so,
And then decide whether or not to continue the relationship.
He’s probably not thinking about it much, so you shouldn’t either.
Flirting is, after all, natural in some situations.
But don’t just wave it off as if it’s nothing when he flirts
If your partner flirts with other women openly, it shows he doesn’t value your relationship.
You should know better than to believe him when he says it’s harmless.
If he truly loved you, he wouldn’t be paying attention to other girls.
10. He Doesn’t Express His True Feelings For You.
One of the simplest ways to identify whether a guy is lying about loving you,
Is to see if he’s actually sharing his personal views and experiences with you.
Some men open up more slowly than others, so it all depends on his personality.
This is also a crucial factor to consider.
Some men have a hard time expressing themselves (emotions.)
However, it’s usually not a good indicator if you’ve been dating this person for a long time and he never actually tells you what he’s thinking.
He’ll reveal some of his personal life with you if he truly loves you and means what he says.
He’ll also discuss his hobbies and interests.
Whether you share similar interests or not,
The fact that he’s letting you into his world is a positive sign that it’s not all in his head.
That he isn’t just pretending to love you.
11. He Makes You Feel Like You’re A Burden To Him.
Mary and Smith have been together for almost a year,
But Mary feels that she is becoming a burden to Smith with each passing day.
Whenever she tries to connect with him,
He finds a way to make her feel as though talking to her is a pain to deal with.
Do you think that’s one of the signs his love is not real?
Absolutely! In fact, it’s one of the signs he is forcing himself to love you.
If your partner makes you feel like you’re a hassle to deal with and a significant load to carry at any point during your relationship,
Take it as one of the key signals he never loved you in the first place,
Regardless of how long you’ve been together.
Run the other way because you’re in a fake relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why Men Pretend To Love A Woman?
You might think of ladies when you hear the term “gold-digger,”
But there are also guys who are gold-diggers,
Hunting for richer and more successful women to support their lifestyle.
They usually profile such ladies to learn what makes them tick and their likes and dislikes and then approach them on purpose.
When that happens, that’s a sign he’s using you for money.
2. Sleep With You
Many guys’ goals for getting laid are obvious,
While others’ motives are hidden and not clear,
And they go to great lengths to make you emotionally invested.
Most of these men believe that you will not give up the goods if you are not emotionally attached to someone.
3. He’s Using You For His Ego And Attention
Contrary to popular belief, men struggle with the same issues as women;
They are better at concealing their flaws since society will not forgive them for showing weakness.
Some men will do almost anything to gain the attention they crave;
Some grow obsessed with rejection and will go to any length to win a woman’s approval…to boost their ego and self-esteem.
Some guys profile and consciously approach females,
Who can be pivotal or are of considerable value to achieving the pinnacle of their career,
Acquiring some properties, or closing a deal,
Similar to how some men pretend to love for the sake of money.
What To Do When You Realize He’s Pretending To Love You
It’s not enough to recognize the signs he pretends to love you and why; you also need to know what to do next.
Here are five smart moves to make:
1. Have An Open Discussion
You’ve thoroughly assessed your relationship and identified the signs he’s pretending to love you.
It’s time to confront the truth: he doesn’t love you. Period!
So, it’s time to have an open and honest talk or conversation with him about the warning flags you’re noticing and your desire to address them.
If he’s willing to admit and deal with the causes that prompted him to act this way in the first place,
You’ll have a clear image of where to proceed from there.
2. State Your Expectations And Be Clear
He probably pretended because he noticed that you had little or no expectations or that your expectations aren’t completely defined,
And you’ve just been going with the flow.
It’s now time to lay out your expectations.
This is the same as acknowledging your self-worth and the need to be cared for and cherished.
3. Quit The Relationship
This should be a no-brainer.
Nothing hurts more than discovering that a man has been pretending to love you for reasons only he knows about.
You begin to mistrust all the seemingly lovely moments you’ve formed together.
You begin to doubt yourself and feel somewhat guilty.
You deserve better.
So, the best thing you can do for yourself is to end the relationship.
4. Talk To Someone
Dealing with the loss and pain of a man you previously thought was
“The One” but turned out to be a fake relationship can sometimes be overwhelming and distressing.
It can cause trust issues,
Causing you to doubt the legitimacy of true love,
Or it can cause you to ruin a great relationship in the future.
So, it would be best if you dealt with it on your own or, most preferably,
With the assistance of a trusted friend or a professional.
The goal is to talk it out, seek advice on moving forward, and recover.
5. Love Yourself
I know this can be hard at times.
But recognize that your happiness isn’t in a man’s hands,
And that you don’t need to seek approval from others to feel loved.
This is the best time to prioritize yourself and do whatever makes you loved and happy.