Imagine the first time you fell in love as a teen?
You bet it’s beyond imagination…
I know that feeling.
It’s an invisible feeling that is hard to explain – to anyone. Love is best felt from experience than explanation. Falling in love as a teen could be the best feeling in the world.
Love is the strongest human emotion. It can’t be bottled for too long. Sooner or later; teenagers would want to love and be loved.
And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Yet, amidst the exciting feeling that love brings, navigating teenage relationship can be challenging – especially for the teenage girl, Dating is a delicate subject – particularly between parents and their daughters.
Let me explain;
Teens are usually inexperienced and immature when it comes to handling emotions. And besides, they can hardly distinguish between lust (infatuation) and true love. Lots of their decisions are driven by feelings which often lead them astray.
This is the sole reason why most teenage relationships fall apart and don’t make it through high school. And it’s discouraging that’s why i wrote this article relationship advice for teenage girls.
Some of them get their relationship ideology from movies, social media, romantic love novels and celebrities while peers influence too many of them.
It’s no wonder our society is filled with teenagers who get involved in an unhealthy relationship too soon. They often engage in secret sex, get pregnant, end up heartbroken and ruined.
There are no two ways about it; involving in a relationship as a teenage girl without the right tools can get you hurt and leave you heartbroken with regrets– for the rest of your life.
However, you can easily navigate your way through the harsh dating world if you’re arm with the right tools and up to date tips (knowledge) – including the dos and don’ts of what dating entails.
Just felt you should know; dating and falling in love with someone are entirely two different things. And both often happen at teenage age for the first time.
Building a healthy relationship usually takes more than the initial sparks and attraction in the beginning. It requires intentionality. It takes two well-rounded people coming together and making life-changing choices that create a healthy relationship.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if you have the right knowledge that can help you avoid the common pitfalls most teenage girls experience on their quest for love?
I know how difficult it can be – especially when you have the wrong perception of what dating is truly about.
So, I sincerely want you to navigate your way through the dating scene successfully as a teenage girl. Here is some practical relationship advice for teenage girls and tips that can help you avoid conventional pitfall others experience and how to build a healthy and lasting relationship.
11 Practical Relationship Advice For Teenage Girls
1. Know (and be) yourself
Many years ago, a philosopher named Socrates affirmed, “Man, know thyself.” Believe me; Socrates knew what he was talking about.
You see, it’s pretty difficult to succeed in the dating world (or any other adventure in life) without a moral self-concept and identity. And this is where many teenagers struggle.
Most of them get their love concept from Hollywood and Bollywood, look to their favourite celebrities and movie stars on how to dress and what to wear. And a large number of them are influenced by peer pressure and are consumed with the desire to feel among – probably because of what they see on social media and society in general.
Often time (if not all the time), teenagers struggle with accepting who they are. They secretly wish they were and possess the qualities of someone they admire. Lots of people don’t like some things about themselves.
For example, some complain that they’re too tall or short; they have big legs, small butt, big or small breast etc. (you may be one of them)
Trust me; you can’t succeed in a relationship this way.
First, you need to be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. Knowing and liking yourself is the first step to loving others.
Let me put it this way, “unconditional love and acceptance for self is the foundation for building a healthy relationship with others.” If you struggle to love and accept yourself, others are going to struggle to love you also. The only way to be an invisible force others like is for you to first accept yourself.
There’s no need to change yourself to who you aren’t. It’s not necessary to portray a personality that you aren’t because if you do, you’re always going to hurt your self-esteem and self-image.
In the first place, love is pure and normal. It’s never artificial. Therefore, if what you seek is genuine love, that is, people loving you for who you are, then come as you are.
2. Don’t Beg For Love
This is one of the essential practical relationship advice for teenage girls you should take seriously.
“Never beg for love.”
You should never do this if you’re a person who regards her dignity and pride. It isn’t cocky… it’s knowing who you are (like I mentioned above) as a person of value.
It’s possible for you to feel something for someone and not get the same feeling in return. Sadly, unreciprocated feelings and affections are just part of the dating terrain we all have to deal with (I wish this weren’t true… but it is).
Be it as it may, you have to realize that you can’t force someone to feel what isn’t there.
Whether it’s a crush who doesn’t just feel the same way you feel about them or s/o (significant other) that has fallen out of love with you, know that at some point, you’ll have to deal with the pain of accepting that someone isn’t into you the way you’re into them and move on.
Love isn’t something you can force. Even if you pathetically or forcefully convince them to stay, it isn’t going to help you in the long run. Behavior like this shatters your self-confidence and self-esteem.
The bad part is that, if you win them by begging, you’ll have to keep them by begging. And trust me; I’m not sure this is what you can do.
3. Don’t Rush
I often tell teenagers, “It’s great if you’re a committed person in a relationship. But don’t be in a hurry to start a relationship because relationships generally require a lot of responsibility.
And besides, you need to understand that love is a marathon and shouldn’t be a sprint. It’s a great sign though if you can see yourself with the other person far into the future.
However, understand that as a teen, there’s only so much you can and should do before you reach a certain age.
You’ll most likely begin to see life differently (probably different from the person you’re with) when you begin a career, visit new places, meet different amazing and God-fearing people and stuffs like that. So, I recommend you take it slow and steady.
Of course, I know it can be challenging at times – especially when your friends are already committed, and it looks like you’re missing out.
The truth is, you are not in a hurry when you know yourself and what you want.
4. Establish Boundaries
Too many teens (including adults) score poorly in this area.
From experience, I’ve come to realize that “a lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.”
You can never change something you refused to confront. Once you lower your standards and boundaries to accommodate someone, it isn’t easy to get them to act otherwise.
Know that setting personal boundaries and standards is a mark of a truly mature person. And maturity doesn’t always come with age.
They’re certain things you should talk over at the beginning of the relationship. For example, what are the things you want to make sure you do consistently? What are the things you want to be sure you don’t do?
Let them know!
When it comes to sex, you want to spell it out from the beginning that it’s a “no sex” relationship. Not everyone will accept this, but that’s okay.
It’s just the standard you’ve set for yourself. And if the other person claims they love you, they should abide by it. Period!
Never compromise your standards.
“You teach others how to treat you by the things you tolerate.”
Setting these boundaries goes a long way in having a healthy relationship. And better yet, telling a mentor or a good friend about these boundaries or standards is a great way to stay accountable.
5. Honest Communication Is Essential
“What blood is to the human body is what communication is to a relationship.”
It’s that important!
Trust me; communication is the best thing in a relationship. It’s so important, and more often than not, so many persons wrestle with it even though it seems obvious.
Lack of communication in a relationship creates resentment in the mind and agony in the heart. Without it, no relationship stands a chance.
You’re probably thinking, “So, don’t lie to each other kind of talk…right?”
Of course, don’t lie to one another. Though that’s part of honesty, it’s only half of being honest.
Holistically, honesty entails being authentic at all times.
Whether it’s nonverbal or verbal, communication should be authentic; clear and understandable.
Lots of times, a large amount of unnecessary drama enters a relationship because either you or the other person “drops hints” or takes your relationship issues to friends rather than to each other.
The practical relationship advice for teenage girls I can is that when it comes to communication lay all cards on the table.
Always keep the words of Actor Tom Hiddleston in mind; this is what he had to say about love “I think real love is about acceptance, truth and vulnerability. When you really can accept someone for who they are, that’s real love.”
Let me quickly add this to it; “Authentic communication opens the gateway to acceptance.”
6. Keep Social Media Out
It can be tempting to want to show off your BF on social media for your friends to see –mostly those cute pictures of you two holding hands or spending time together.
Well, by all means, go for it!
However, it’s great to keep in mind that as social media continues to take a larger part of our lives, it’s essential to know where exactly it belongs in your own life.
For example, don’t take to social media the little misunderstanding you have with your BF. When you have an argument with him, don’t go posting on social media that you are in a bad mood or guys are wicked.
Your friends on Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter or Snapchat don’t need to know what’s going on in your relationship.
7. Respect And Trust Each Other
Respect and trust are two internal pillars that hold any strong and healthy relationship together.
It doesn’t matter the kind of relationship you’re in, without these two qualities; your relationship is as good a dead.
If you want to love your boyfriend, then respect him.
Don’t flirt with other people. Never ask for nude pictures.
And of course, don’t take them for granted.
Truthfully, none of these points needs to be stated if you respect your partner and respect their boundaries.
8. Don’t Try To Change Him
This is one of the essential practical relationship advice for teenage girls you shouldn’t joke with.
Don’t even bother trying to change him; it isn’t going to work.
You’re going to get disappointed big time if you make him your project. People don’t like to be fixed.
Whether it’s your boyfriend or his bad habits if he hasn’t changed for the past 16 or 17 years, what makes you think he’s going to change all of a sudden?
That’s why you should look before you leap. Please don’t be so intoxicated by the feelings you’ve for him that you ignore his character defeats.
Can you stand some of his weaknesses?
Will you be able to live with him for the rest of your life? Always have a long term perspective.
If you answer YES to the two questions above, then you are lucky.
However, if your answer is NO, then I think you know the right thing to do.
And again, it could be that you’re the one trying to change them into who they’re not.
“If you want a long-lasting relationship, you’ve to love the person for who he is, not for the things that he can adjust to be more to your liking.”
Do you get it?
9. Be Fully Present
This makes lots of difference in a relationship.
We live in a technology-driven society today, which makes it easy to see and discuss with people who are thousands of miles away. And still, many people feel disconnected and lonely. You’ve to try and make your partner never feel lonely – especially when you’re with them.
The ability to be present is one quality that’s so rare in our world today. And being present for another person – through thick and thin – is one of the surest signs of true love.
Whether it’s when things are rough or moments of happiness when you both celebrate together, being present makes a lot of difference and keeps the relationship strong and exciting.
10. Add Value To Each Other’s Life
I’m yet to see the person who doesn’t desire to be the best version of themselves.
Yet, not everyone recognizes the role of relationships in their personal growth and development.
You become like the person (or people) you hang around with.
King Solomon puts it right when he quipped, “He, who walks with the wise, shall be wise, but the company of fools shall be destroyed.”
You see, people can usually trace their successes and failures to relationships in their lives. You should begin a relationship with the sole purpose to add value to each other’s life.
If you get the strong desire to be a better girl whenever you’re around him, that’s a good sign. But, if your family and friends keep telling you that they don’t like how you behave when you’re around your partner, it’s time to re-examine the relationship.
Like I mentioned before, don’t go nagging the other person about their faults and how they need you to “fix” them.
You have to set a standard for yourself and for anyone who wants to start a relationship with you. The person who knows you are valuable will attempt to meet those standards and step up to the challenge.
11. Sex Isn’t Love
This should be obvious enough; but sadly, it isn’t.
You need to take this point seriously.
You know why?
Because a lot of adults wish they hadn’t involved themselves in sexual activities during their teenage years. In other words, they regretted it.
In fact, according to research studies, one of the top three things adults wish they knew earlier about relationships is “sex isn’t love.”
This is why you must set your boundaries and standard pretty straight beforehand. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you aren’t okay with.
If you’re finding it hard to come to term with this, I get it.
After all, our current society preaches otherwise. I mean, you’ve been taught that sex is the coolest thing you can ever do…from social media to movies to romantic novels (books) and then peer pressure (friends).
They may tease, laugh at you and make it seem like something is wrong with you if you are not having sex in your relationship like every other person.
But get it…and get it clearly,
“For the fact that someone sleeps with you isn’t a guarantee they love you.”
If you love yourself (I hope you do), you wouldn’t want to complicate your life.
Relationship –of any kind is never easy. Though some argue that teenage relationship is even more difficult, but I believe with the right tools; knowledge, mindset, right actions and pure intentions, teen’s relationships can be healthy, mature and lead to a lasting relationship.
Trust me; I couldn’t have exhausted every practical relationship advice for teenage girls in this article.
So, without you adding to the points already mentioned above, this article isn’t complete.