Although there are no standard long distance relationship rules, being in it for the past three years and reading books from experts in the field has made me believe that there are specific long distance relationship rules that you have to follow if the relationship will succeed
These are not standard rules but are very important for long distance relationships to survive the test of time.
Learning to observe these rules would have a positive impact on your love life in general
One of the main reasons why a long distance relationship doesn’t work for most people is because they fail to learn or apply the rules. Reading through this article would give you the needed knowledge to make your long distance relationship work. Endeavor to apply these long distance relationship rules immediately and for those having long distance relationship struggles these rules would help redefine your relationship and show you what you might be doing wrong.
Long Distance Relationship Rules: What You Need To Succeed
Rule #1: Thou Shall Communicate Consistently And Effectively
Communication is one of the essential ingredients for making your relationship work.
In a long distance relationship, it is easy to misunderstand your partner and jump to inappropriate conclusions
That’s why consistent communication is essential to avoid anger and resentment as a result of being misunderstood.
Most people believe that consistent communication is talking every hour and staying all day on the phone; that’s too much communication which can harm the relationship
Staying on the phone all day wouldn’t help your relationship and this is why it’s not recommended; if you stay all day with your partner on the phone, a day would come when they won’t be available due to circumstances, and you would feel lonely and slowly start to resent them, and if you are not careful, you would want to pay them back by not being available when they need you.
Don’t give your partner the impression that they need some breathing space as a result of excessive communication.
A consistent and effective communication refers to a communication style where you discuss everything and hide nothing from each other.
The discussion should cover how the day went, the challenges encountered during the day, and every other necessary issue needed to keep the relationship healthy.
It’s worthy of note that you shouldn’t hide anything from your partner. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner the truth. Even if it hurts, it helps to strengthen the relationship.
To avoid long distance relationship drifting apart, don’t keep things in your mind against your partner; always discuss everything because they might not even know what is wrong or if they hurt you. The fastest way to destroy your relationship is to keep things in mind against your partner and never tell them about it. It can reduce your commitment level and slowly make you resent them, and resentment could bring serious disaster.
Rule #2: Thou Shall Not Have The Opposite Sex As A Close Friend
This is one of the most important long distance relationship rules that should be taken seriously.
I have seen the violation of this rule ruin many relationship times without number including mine.
If you don’t want trouble in your long distance relationship, avoid having a close friend of the opposite sex in the city you live in, especially when that friend is single.
Having a close friend of the opposite sex could cause severe temptation and put you in a position of compromise. It’s vital to define boundaries for friends of the opposite sex to help avoid cheating or double dating.
Many people have found themselves cheating and double dating, which was not their intention but it happened because they kept a close friend of the opposite sex.
Here’s a personal long distance relationship experience; I had a lovely lady I was dating a few years ago, when she got into college she had a friend of the opposite sex, things were beautiful at the beginning, but as they became close friends, everything changed.
She soon started having feelings for the guy because they were always together, and they started a relationship without my knowledge. It took a while before I found out, and that ended the relationship.
I believe it wasn’t the girl’s intention to double date, but she had a close friend of the opposite sex, which put her in a position of compromise. All I am saying is this; if you value your long distance relationship, try not to have a very close friend of the opposite sex, this rule would save you from trouble.
Rule #3: Thou Shall Not Be Selfish
Selfishness is one of the fastest ways to irritate your partner, and if you are looking for how to keep things interesting in a long distance relationship it would be best to avoid it.
Many people don’t know they are selfish; they believe that’s how things should be; this can bring serious issues and can lead to breakup if not correctly handled.
In a long distance relationship, always remember to put your partner first, think about your actions and how it would affect them.
Don’t be concerned only about getting what you want, even if your partner gets hurt. It can make your partner begin to resent and avoid you.
If you demand all the care and attention from your partner and never give back when they need it, things would soon get ugly.
The golden rule to make your relationship work is “give more than you are willing to take“
Selfishness in a long-distance relationship can take different forms some are listed below:
Communicating with your ex even if it hurts your partner
Wanting all the love and attention and refusing to give back
Always putting yourself or anything first before your partner
Not willing to sacrifice time or money to help your partner achieve their goals
Being in more than one relationship (double dating)
Insensitive to your partner’s present feelings
Self-evaluation is the key to discovering areas in your relationship where you are selfish if you find any quickly make the needed changes and apologize to your partner.
Rule #4: Thou Shall Not Be Jealous
It’s easy to get jealous in a long-distance relationship
Trust is something that is not easy for many people, maybe due to their past experiences.
The fact that your partner is not around you increases the probability of jealousy and false accusations.
Calls not picked on time, messages not responded to on time, male or female voice in the background can arouse suspicion; you must trust your partner; otherwise, the relationship will not work.
I know that there would be people who would betray your trust and still mess around, trust is a requirement for any relationship to work, and you should trust your partner until they prove otherwise.
Constant accusations can get your partner tired of the relationship and choose to quit.
If you doubt your partner’s faithfulness, discuss it, pointing out the reason for such thoughts.
Jealousy, in a long distance relationship, puts your partner in prison and makes it difficult to get the truth from them.
Rule #5: Thou Shall Not Take Your Partner For Granted
Because you are not always with your partner most times, the tendency to take them for granted is quite high.
It’s easy to trivialize their complaints and challenges because you are not physically present with them. Don’t take your partner for granted; this could lead to cheating and double dating.
Constant complaints from your partner about certain things that affect the relationship is not a good sign; it could easily give your partner the impression they are being taken for granted if you keep repeating the same mistakes over again.
Ensure you respond to your partners complain and make efforts to resolve them quickly.
If you don’t do the romantic things that you started the relationship with, it might be a sign that you are taking your partner for granted without knowing.
Listed below are signs that could indicate you are taking your partner for granted.
You don’t treat them with respect.
You are not involved or interested in their life.
Little or no effort from you in making the relationship work
You are not faithful in the relationship.
Contributing or the cause of their low self-esteem
Manipulating them emotionally to get what you want
They are not your top priority.
Take time to evaluate your relationship, most times, it will be glaring if you are taking your partner for granted.
Nobody likes to be taken for granted continuously; it’s only a matter of time before they realize the relationship is not worth it.
Take urgent steps to restore love and respect in your relationship before it becomes too late.