We were on a date when she opened up.
Debbie, my childhood friend, turned to me and asked…
Have you noticed that anything we chase in life runs away from us?
“Hmmm…that’s interesting. What do you mean?” I pressed.
Debbie began to share some vulnerable and naïve moments from her past.
For many years, she spent more time than she could admit chasing after men, trying to convince them to like and date her.
As she told me, at those times, she felt terrible. And with each rejection, she felt disgusted with herself and her love life.
She was desperate and wanted to be loved and feel loved.
But she didn’t quite understand what she was doing wrong – by always being the first to call men, show interest, and ask them out on dates.
Little wonder did she know that a critical part of dating and finding love is figuring out how to make men chase you instead.
Every relationship she tried to wiggle her way into taking the driver’s seat regarding interactions with guys completely backfired and blew up in her face.
Sadly, the devastating rejections, poor treatments, and breakups continued until she learned some of the things I will share with you in the article.
It hurt. And it’s sad.
You don’t have to go through such horrible experiences.
That’s why you must learn how to trigger a man’s desire to chase a woman. Or put differently, how to trigger a man’s hunter instinct.
So, it doesn’t matter if you want to know any of the following:
How to turn the tables and make him chase you. Or even how to make him chase you in a relationship.
And how to get a guy to chase you without playing games.
This article will teach you how to make him chase you and commit…forever. I mean, powerful ways to get a guy hooked and chase you.
If you want to know how to make him chase you, develop these mindsets.
How To Make Him Chase You: 5 Secrets To Getting Him Hooked.
1. Maintain Healthy Priorities Outside Of Him.
I can’t say this enough.
It doesn’t take much for a woman’s instincts to betray her when dating a man she finds very attractive or interested in.
The hardwired hormonal response of new romance tells her the night she had planned with the girls isn’t that important.
She keeps checking her phone just in case he texts, even when she’s overwhelmed at work.
She doesn’t see anything wrong with seeing him yet again –even when she has already seen him four nights a week and missed her exercise routine three times.
Most women meet a man and immediately make him the highest and only priority in their lives – above fitness, business, friends, family, school, and even work within a few weeks.
Granted, these behaviors are the result of biology.
However, it doesn’t create a long-term committed and healthy relationship.
Maintaining your priorities outside of him is one cornerstone concept that truly sums up
The difference between the healthy habit of being naturally challenging and the deceptive act of playing hard to get.
You don’t want to manipulate a man into being with you by playing hard to get or pretending to be busy when you’re not.
You want to naturally challenge him by prioritizing other important areas of your life.
There’s a subtle communication going on that says, “I find you very attractive, but I’ve got a life outside of you that I love, too.”
This is what makes a man chase a woman.
2. Use Your Natural Feminine Magnetism.
No man wants to fall in love with another man. Unless, of course, he’s gay.
Men want to fall in love with women. I mean, real and natural women.
I know society has conditioned many women to act tough, play hard to get, act uninterested or aloof, and all…
But I fear it ruins women’s chances of getting men to chase them.
What you want to do is be the woman that you are.
A woman’s femininity magnetizes a man. It hooks him and makes him keep coming back for more.
Show him you’re interested in him and that you find him attractive. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Use your feminine energy. Be playful, happy, and flirtatious, and be open to his advances.
Don’t be difficult.
Regardless of how naturally challenging a woman is, she must also be attainable and not difficult
Otherwise, a man will give up the chase along the line if there’s no potential for him to win.
“Being naturally challenging as a woman is still being attainable.”
You have no idea how much a man will chase you if you can flaunt your feminine attributes.
3. Never Be Entirely Sold On A Man Unless He Proves Himself.
This may sound strange – especially if you’re the “too nice” girl – but it’s essential for a long-lasting attraction.
“It’s your responsibility to always make a man feel that, if it came down to it,
You would always have the security, boldness, and courage to leave if he failed in any way to show you the respect and care you truly deserve.”
When all else fails, you have to be the one willing to leave when things aren’t right.
Because a man will only chase you when you choose yourself first
And choosing yourself involves deciding when it’s best for your own future to leave now and save yourself pain.
The ability to walk away gives you power in any negotiation, and relationships are no different.
There’s a saying I’ve always loved that sums this up:
“Rest assured that the world won’t increase your price if you place a low value on yourself.”
In other words, no one will treat you how you deserve to be treated until YOU determine your worth.
You teach people how to treat you.
When a man knows that you aren’t fully sold on him, and you’re a woman in demand…
I mean, someone who lives her purpose and has an exciting life with plenty of fulfilling options to return to – that’s when you become someone he really can’t let go of.
Above your need for any man should always be the need to do what’s best for you,
To live according to YOUR purpose and values, and to not settle for any treatment that is beneath what you’re worth.
We value things that require us to earn them, and we value them even more, when we have to work to KEEP them in our lives.
Be willing to walk away, PERIOD.
You’ll soon find there are plenty of men who will want to chase you and win you over.
4. Apply The Push And Pull Technique
Think of the push and pull concept whenever you feel the urge to come hard on a man.
To push is to put force onto a man.
Asking him where the relationship is going
Asking if “he loves you,” “misses you,” “how he feels about you…”
Asking him for confirmation of your feelings etc.
All of these created unwanted pressure on a man.
Sure, if he really likes you, he may not mind answering once or twice or so, but to keep asking for reassurance is a capital NO-NO.
This is why “pushing” doesn’t make a man chase you. It has the opposite effect on him.
On the contrary, you want to think of “pulling” or getting a man to gravitate towards you on his own.
Think of it as the law of attraction.
You work on the natural gravitational pull of a happy and purpose-driven life.
When you’re focused on your life, a man will naturally see it as very attractive and WANT to be part of it.
When Debbie first started chatting with her new boyfriend, she was starting her online business.
Her weekdays and weekends were filled with assignments and studies.
He noticed that she would bring up her assignments and what she was working on every time he messaged her.
He told her he first fell in love with her due to her love and passion for learning new things.
It would be best if you found a passion of your own and completely got lost in it.
It could be:
Trying to hit your academic goals
Aiming to make your first $10k
Mastering a digital skill or skills
Starting an online business
Getting into shape
Whatever it is…
It helps to look for a hobby or activity that can be All-Consuming.
It needs to be interesting enough for you to focus on it long-term effortlessly…
Because the most attractive people are those, who are actively going after their dreams, goals and God giving purpose.
5. Develop “Enchanting” Confidence.
You need to first develop the right attitude before a man will chase you.
If you “fake” it, you might get the guy for a short while, but eventually, you’ll lose him.
In my opinion, you should apply the advice that provides a long-lasting solution instead of trying to trick a man into being with you in the short term.
People dislike being pushed or pressured into doing something. Instead, you need to pull a man to you who would actively pursue you.
Let me introduce you to the concept I call “Enchanting Confidence.”
Confidence is an irresistible trait that men find very attractive. Sadly, most women aren’t confident enough in themselves. A lot have low self-esteem.
They don’t love themselves enough to know what’s best for their overall happiness and peace of mind.
Unfortunately, when the word ‘confidence’ comes to mind, many only think of outer confidence.
Little wonder they spend money on designer clothes, bags, shoes, make-up, etc.
But to be enchantingly confident, one must radiate confidence from within. This is why you need to first improve on your mentality.
Everything begins in the mind.
To activate “Enchanting Confidence,” you must shift your thinking from “HIM” to “ME”
You have to be your priority.
Your thoughts center on a man as your savior when you are “HIM-focused.”
Does he even think about me at all?
Does he find me attractive?
How do I make him to notice and want me?
Women behave this way because they are inherently wired to want men for their resources and financial security.
That explains why attractive women prefer wealthy guys. Additionally, women favor a man who has a job.
You may not be conscious of it, but you are constantly evaluating the resources a man has.
A man with many resources implies that YOU could also have access to plenty resources as well.
Understand that despite the fact that this is a very widespread misconception; resources do not just refer to assets or money.
Women occasionally look to men to satisfy their emotional needs or voids their parents created or couldn’t fill.
Most women look for love, acceptance, happiness, and security because they are starved.
You tend to think mostly about meeting your needs when you are “ME-focused.”
Does he treat me right?
How can I make the best of my day?
Am I pursuing my purpose?
Am I happy with myself
How do I develop myself so I can be the best version of myself?
Do I love myself?
Do I love others? Etc.
You see, having a life that is “ME-focused” means concentrating on the direction your life is going.
Putting more of your attention on guys could be a better answer or an escape route if your life is disorganized and you feel out of control.
But in reality, what you’re doing is trying to find a “Band-Aid solution” to a problem that’s already deteriorated.
The cost of turning to a MAN to fix your problems is that you’ll frequently come across as unattractive, needy, clinging, low value and desperate.
This contradicts the “Enchanting confidence” concept, and it’s very unattractive.
Changing your perspective from “get a guy for his resources” to “obtain my resources” will cause you to experience Enchanting Confidence.
That’s how you get a man to chase you because no man wants a liability. They want assets. They want a high-value woman.
This brings me to this important point every woman needs to understand:
The fact that you’re confident and make your own money doesn’t mean you shouldn’t allow your feminine qualities to shine through (I’ve emphasized on this before.)
Because a lot of women believe that once they start making their own money, they don’t need a man in their lives. Nothing could be further from the truth.
What do I need a man for when I can provide for my needs? Some say to themselves.
Some even see it as an opportunity to disrespect the men in their lives.
Granted. It’s great for you to be assertive (know who you are, have a mind of your own and go after your dreams) I highly recommend it.
But, it shouldn’t be at the expense of being submissive to a man.
Now, being submissive doesn’t mean you’re a doormat or helpless or less of a human.
It simply means you know the place of a man in your life.
It means you’re respectful of the man in your life. It means you know you need a man.
In as much as you’re developing your confidence and going after your dreams,
You must constantly remind yourself that no man wants to date (or marry) another man.
Being assertive (and independent) is great. But it doesn’t have to be at the expense of being submissive.
For a man to find you attractive enough to chase you, you need both at equal amount.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Happens When You Stop Chasing A Man?
You give men the chance to start chasing you instead.
But the primary reason so many women get into trouble when chasing a man is that they don’t realize that men are hardwired differently than they are.
I’ve already explained what makes a man chase a woman and how to make a guy chase you using male psychology.
People – especially men raise their eyebrows and even get offended whenever I say “men are hunters,” and they like to chase women.
And I understand why.
If you don’t understand evolution and basic human psychology, it may sound like I’m saying something demeaning.
I mean, It seems like I’m implying that men aren’t worthy for women to show interest in them.
That isn’t the case.
I often hear men say that if a woman they were interested in and attracted to showed interest, they would love it.
And they aren’t kidding.
But what about a woman they aren’t interested in?
That brings me to this important point…
Male attraction requires two things:
Sexual attraction and
No matter how much a woman finds a man interesting, if he’s not physically attracted to you, he won’t feel any inner drive to chase you.
Sure, he may have sex with you. You may see “real potential” in him. Heck, you may even fall head over heels for him.
But if he doesn’t find you sexually attractive, he’ll never feel the passion to pursue you.
The second part of the equation is powerful and less understood by women.
The male brain is hardwired to hunt. To put effort into something he finds valuable.
The masculine energy is most happy when he’s conquering and achieving something worthwhile.
That’s why in the early stages of dating,
Masculine achievements look like the process of getting you to agree to little commitments that indicate you’re interested.
Simple things like “asking for your number,” “texting and getting you to text or call back,”
And then taking it a bit further by “asking you out on a date” are all achievements to him.
Once a man is on the verge of getting something (a woman in this case), it generates a desire he has to satisfy.
And when he puts effort into winning you over, he treasures you.
However, the reverse is the case if you’re the one doing the chasing. He doesn’t feel like he’s actively pursuing something worthwhile.
You kill the excitement and fun that comes with the chase.
Stop chasing men.
Why You Should Never Chase A Man
I’ve had the privilege of working with lots of women.
And from my studies and research, I’ve noticed a pattern of what goes wrong when women chase men.
Pay attention to this…
“When you chase a man, you automatically risk missing vital red flags.”
These warning signs are important. For the sake of this article, I will share four with you.
And here they are…
Red Flag #1: He Loses Interest
As you might have guessed, men (tend to) lean back and let the woman do all the work when women chase men.
This happens even if he’s not all that interested in her or only slightly attracted to her.
Trust me, since you’re actively doing everything to push the relationship,
Most men will gladly enjoy the benefits of getting their sexual, emotional, and physical needs met without putting in any effort.
This is what you should avoid by all means possible.
Red Flag #2: He was never that interested from the get-go
You won’t know if a man isn’t interested in you from the start if you’re busy chasing him.
This is often the case until you’re already mentally and emotionally invested in him.
This can be a problem because you’ll end up getting attached when he’s not even that interested in the first place.
This is even worse when sex is involved.
But don’t worry.
If you’ve read this article to this point, you’ve just learned how to make a guy chase you.
Red Flag #3: He’s not the man you’re looking for
Let’s face it…
If you’re the one chasing a man, you might get so caught up trying so hard to make the relationship work with him that you won’t even realize that he’s not really a good match.
This usually happens when a girl becomes so desperate.
Besides, you’ll end up missing the signs because you’re invested in doing things that you overlook that he isn’t really right for you.
Your values don’t line up, he isn’t relationship-oriented and doesn’t even want kids, but you do.
You get the point, don’t you?
When you chase him, you might miss dating deal-breakers because you are too busy trying to make things work out with someone who isn’t really that serious or interested.
Red Flag #4: He isn’t actively moving the relationship forward
Many men out there (including those you know) will lean back and let it happen if you’re pushing and trying to move the relationship forward – all by yourself.
What’s the red flag here?
“You’ll do all the work in the relationship- forever.”
You’re setting a frame around the relationship that communicates to the guy you are the one who will keep doing all the work.
So, if you want to know how to make him chase you again, the abovementioned points are what you need to do instead…
Even if you’ve slept with him before or have been the one chasing him.
But please understand,
The points I shared aren’t something you “act” or “do.” They should be who you are – on the inside.
Your way of life. Your mindsets
Otherwise, it’ll never last.
If you find this post useful, I’m glad you did.
Please share your experiences in the comment and tell us what you learn and what you’re going to do differently moving forward.