how to make a man want you

5 Killer Ways On How To Make A Guy Want You

How do I attract the guy I want?

Jessica asked.

Meeting guys and having them interested in me isn’t a problem. And I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I’m in good shape.

Everyone tells me how pretty I am. So, I’m not in doubt about my physical attractiveness.

But here’s the problem…

There’s this cute and cool guy I met recently. I like him. And I’ve developed a crush on him.

So, I was trying to find out if he was into me. And a mutual friend quoted him saying, “pretty girl though, but not into her.”

This happens often. And it’s driving me crazy.

I really like this guy.

I want to understand why he doesn’t like me. And more importantly, if there’s anything I can do to make him want me and see me as a romantic interest.

Why doesn’t he want me?


You’re probably in a similar situation.

There are quite some reasons why he doesn’t want you. I’m going to share them with you as you read along.

But first, let’s look at:

how to make a man want you and only you

First off:

Before I even begin talking about how to make a guy want you, just remember that you really don’t KNOW what this guy said or how he really feels.

All you know is something a friend told you he said (which may not necessarily be true.)

But then, if you’re like most women, you probably attract the guys you don’t really want.

You don’t have problems attracting certain types of guys. But the guys that you do want are probably not necessarily pursuing you.

And it’s freaking you out.

Don’t worry.

In this article, I’m going to help you attract the guy you really want…The guy that will fall head-over-heels in love with you.

How to make a man want you bad

Now, the internet is full of a ton of bullshit –especially when it comes to teaching you, women, how to attract men and how to make a man want you and only you.

Over the past years, I’ve done tons of research in this area.

And I really want to combine my experience as a dating coach and real data (real research and scientific insights) to give you the best advice possible.

So, if you’re wondering:

How do you make a guy realize he wants you?

Here’s how to attract a guy

5 Scientifically Proven Ways On How To Make A Guy Want You

1. Apply The Diamond Principle

How To Make A Guy Want You

Diamonds are highly desired and highly valued.

So, how are diamonds formed?

Diamonds are actually masses of carbon underneath the earth’s surface and under intense temperature and pressure.

And then, they make their way to the surface.

But do you know how diamonds make their way to the surface?

It’s actually volcanoes.

A volcano will shoot the masses of carbon up to the earth’s surface, and if it’s at the right temperature and the right speed, it’s become a diamond.

It’ll become something else if it isn’t at the right temperature and speed—something we don’t value.

And because that’s a rare process, they’re highly desired and valued.

Specifically, diamonds have four qualities, and the degree of these qualities increases how valuable the diamond is.

Those qualities are:

1. Clarity

2. Cut

3. Carat and

4. Color

Here’s what’s interesting…

You actually have these four qualities in you.

There is diamond quality in you already. And as you dial it up, the diamond quality in you, you become rare.

Unfortunately, most women don’t focus on this. They don’t even know this.

So, as you become rare, the desire for you goes up as you shine these four qualities.

Now, let’s unpack what these four qualities are, shall we?


It’s simply your clarity on what you want and who you are.

It’s you having a clear image of the kind of man you want and the qualities you desire in a man…And your ability to recognize him when you find him.

Because let’s face it…

People are like gold, and they don’t come out fully formed, just like a diamond.

You’re going to meet a lot of men. I mean, A LOT.

But as you say ‘no’ to the other guys and become selective, the more you create room for the man you want.

Here’s how I like to put is…

“You’ll get to the right guy faster, when you get rid of the wrong guys quicker.”

Unfortunately, the average woman doesn’t even know what she wants. She doesn’t have a clear direction in her life and knows what she’s passionate about.

Yeah. She knows what she doesn’t want.

“I don’t want to be single.” “I don’t want to be alone.” Etc.

But those aren’t what attract men. Men are attracted to women who know what they want.

So, if you want to know how to make a guy want to date you, this is a quality you should focus on.

Personally, I find this quality very sexy.



‘Cut’ is the quality that gives a diamond its high value because it’s ‘cut’ that most determine how much light diamonds glow out to the world.

For you, as a woman, cut could mean….what you’ve overcome from your past. The pain from your past. The heartache you’ve been through—the challenges you’ve overcome.

All of those challenges made you the amazing woman you are today.

And your willingness to shine your light on this world boldly and beautifully makes you rare.

If you’ve noticed, most women (most human beings actually) don’t shine their light. Most people live a ‘dime-down’ version of themselves.


Because they’re afraid…

…Afraid of being rejected… Afraid of getting hurt… Afraid of being criticized…

Everywhere they go, they carry their negative energy, pessimistic attitude about life, and emotional baggage.

Tell me, would you be attracted to a negative man?

I doubt.

Same way, no man wants to be with you if you’re badly broken (and not willing to do anything about it). And blame everyone and anyone for your misery, except a man who is badly broken and harmful like you.

But as you let go of your past hurts and allow your inner diamond to shine through, you become so attractive to everyone (and the guy you want).

Again, you must be willing to show that you’re attracted to him.

Now, I’m not saying ‘through yourself at him.” Of course, not.

Because most women go to the extreme, they fall head-over-heels for a guy too quickly – even when he treats them poorly.

There’s another extreme.

I’ve seen most women hold back because of their past hurt and pain and just want the guy to do all the work. They don’t show any sign they’re interested in him.

Your past experiences aren’t supposed to make you bitter. They’re supposed to make you better.

So, go ahead. Shine your light in a greater way. Show you’re interested in him. And as you do, he’ll feel that attraction from you and increase his own attraction for you.

That’s how to make a guy want you.


Carat is the size or substance of the diamond.

In other words, it’s the size of the challenges he must overcome to be your man.

Simply put, have standards.

The average woman doesn’t know what are standards are. She doesn’t know what a man must do to become her boyfriend.

All she knows is that she wants a boyfriend. She wants a relationship.

A lot of women enter into ‘instant’ relationships. They just want to be with any man who shows interest in them.

But the reality is, throwing yourself just at any man who shows interest in you or wants you doesn’t make him feel special or make him value the relationship.

You not only have to know what your standards are, but you also have to show him through communication.

Here’s what I mean…

Show, don’t tell.

Sadly, I see far too many women go about telling men what their standards are, but they don’t live it.

You don’t communicate your standards by telling a man what your standards are. You show him through your actions.

For example:

A girl, Precious, came to me complaining about her situation. There was this cool guy she really liked and wanted and was trying to get him to notice her.

So, I shared some ideas with her on what to do. A few weeks later, they started seeing each other.

But she ruined everything after a while.

Here’s what happened.

Precious would tell the guy she isn’t interested in sex. But whenever the guy asks her to come over to his place to spend the night, she wouldn’t hesitate.

In other words, she was good at telling the guy what her standards were but couldn’t demonstrate it in her action.

She couldn’t show him. That was how she ruined everything.

Men like women who have standards, but they love and respect those who demonstrate it in their actions.

They value the woman who demonstrates her standards more than those who only tell them what they stand for.

So, whether you’re looking for how to make a guy want to date you or how to make a man want you and only you, you’ve got to have some standards.

This is how to attract a man and make him want you.


This simply refers to how colorless the diamond is.

The less valuable diamonds (the most common diamonds) are foggy.

But the rarest and purest diamonds are the colorless ones…The ones that are transparent.

So, how does this apply to making a guy wants you?

Well, it’s your willingness to be transparent and authentic.

You’ve got to be willing to create intimacy.

Intimacy simply means “Into me, I see.”

In other words, it’s your willingness to share who you are to let him into your world.

Now, I’ll be honest with you.

Being vulnerable is very scary.

And most people don’t do that. And that’s majorly because of their past. They’re afraid of being hurt. They’re afraid of opening their heart to someone again.

But as you heal that past and be willing to bring your authentic self, you become rare…Because a woman who has accepted herself and embraced her imperfection is attractive to men.

A lot of women out there aren’t fully themselves. They haven’t accepted themselves. And become unapologetically authentic of who they are.

So, imagine having this quality. It quickly separates you from other women out there.

It standouts you out. It makes you different.

Honestly, getting in touch with your imperfections makes you rare.

My advice?

Just allow yourself to be seen. Be transparent and be authentically you.

So, there you have it, the diamond principle. How to get a guy to like you

Remember, you’ve got these four qualities in you. You’re a diamond.

And as you decide to shine your light to this world and allow yourself to be seen fully, you will cause a man to stop in his tract to notice you, be attracted to you, desire you, and want you.

Here are other ways how to make a guy want you more

2. Kindness

One major study asked 10,000 men (including women) what quality they find most essential in a mate. And the number one response all way across the board was kindness.

Now, this doesn’t mean you have to be the type of girl that a man can walk all over, just does anything he wants.


This means that you care about the other person, and you want to make them happy. So long as the happiness doesn’t come at the expense of yourself.

And so long as the guy is reciprocating.

3. Know Your Self-Worth

how to make a guy miss you

Confidence doesn’t mean going out to every guy, leading every conversation, asking the guy out, and leading the direction of how everything goes.

Nah. It doesn’t necessarily mean that.

Actually, that’s bringing a lot of masculine energy to the table.

But I want you to be sexy and confident. It’s really feminine confidence.

And what that all comes down to is knowing that you deserve a relationship and being confident of what you bring to the table.

It’s knowing that you deserve a good man and an amazing relationship.

Again, it all boils down to setting standards for yourself. It’s the fastest way to attract the man you want against attracting the ones you don’t want.

4. Show Your Curves

This all comes down to the classic hourglass shape that many men, evolutionarily, are looking for.

My points above are behaviors you can get to improve on, but I’d be doing you a disservice to not talk about the physical side, as well.

A woman’s figure, of course, is a component of attraction. I’d be lying to you if I said it wasn’t.

And the hourglass shape is something that men, just on a very instinctual level, look for and respond to.

Researchers have documented really a magnetic male attraction to a waist to hip ratio of about 0.7

This is the classic hourglass.

And an iTracking study in 2017 found that men start to evaluate a woman’s ‘hourglassness’ within the first 200 milliseconds of viewing them.

Most men like big buts.

But, of course, not every woman has a perfect hourglass shape. And that’s okay. And it doesn’t mean you can’t attract men.

But what it does mean is you want to take a look at the clothing you wear and find the ones that really accentuate and bring out the type of figure you have.

 5. Indicate Interest

how to get a guy's attention

Researchers who study speed dating events where men and women basically make decisions in seconds or even minutes found that simply showing a little bit of interest in the conversation can build a massive amount of attraction.

So, when you’re talking to a guy, really listen to what he’s saying.

If you’re digging what he’s saying and even break the touch barrier slowly but surely, find a reason to touch his arm and laugh, you’re sending an enormous amount of signals to him that…

“Hey, I’m interested and maybe a little bit more.”

Showing that indicator of interest to him also will boost his confidence and allows him to bring his A-game. Like, he’s going to get excited.

But if he feels you’re not digging him and not interested, what will he do?

He’s going to move on to some other guy.

Now, back to the question:

Why doesn’t he want me?

Why doesn’t he want me back?

First thing first:

It’s not your fault that he doesn’t want you back.

Attraction is a very complex, and most people aren’t even aware of the reasons they are magnetically, almost magically drawn to one person and ultimately repelled by another person.

You can’t control the myriad subtle psychological and evolutionary influences that make a man fall in love with a particular woman.

That Said, Below Are 3 Reasons Why The Man That You Like Might Not Want You Back.

He doesn’t want a relationship.

Some men date just for its fun, and they are simply not looking for anything serious.

Now, when a man says he doesn’t want a relationship (with you), believe him. So, you don’t spend years, months, weeks, or days trying to convince him.

He probably thinks it’s the wrong time for him. So, move on.

He doesn’t like you

This might sound harsh, but it’s the truth.

One of the most brutal reasons the guy you like doesn’t want you back is that he probably doesn’t like you. 

And if the guy you are into doesn’t seem to like you back, that doesn’t make him evil just because he isn’t attracted to you.

That doesn’t mean that you are unlovable or undesirable in any way.

You can’t force attraction.

He has no idea that you like him.

Do you see why it’s essential you show him signs and indicate interest?

Let’s face it…

Some guys can be pretty thick in the head.

The guy you’re interested in may not know that you even like him.

What Do You Do When A Guy Doesn’t Want You?

Here’s what I would recommend:

The moment you find out a guy doesn’t want you, move on.

Here’s why?

“The quicker you get rid of the wrong guys, the faster it’s for you to meet the right guy (the guy who wants you.”

So, take control and know that you deserve someone better.

Got other points to add to the point I listed?

Then feel free to leave a comment below. I’d love to read them.

You can also share your experience here to inspire other women in our community.

Nelson Whetat is a dating coach who is fascinated by human psychology and passionate about helping single women understand men, increase their desirability and attractiveness so they can get their dream man. He’s also a marketer and direct response copywriter who enjoys crafting attention grabbing and emotional compelling content and stories to sell digital products

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