How To Know If Your Boyfriend Still Has Feelings For His Ex
Am I just being paranoid?
Is this something I should be worried about? Or I should confront him?
Because I suspect that he’s not over his ex.
But he jokingly says he can never be devoted to another girl again and that he’s “permanently broken” after their breakup.
We’ve been together for a little over a year now.
And our relationship is starting to get pretty serious.
We spend time together, and from how we interact, it’s obvious we’re deeply in love.
But the problem is, I can’t just shake off the feeling that he would rather want to be with his ex-girlfriend.
Marvin, my boyfriend, dated Julia (his ex) for about three and a half years.
And during their time together, he thought she was the perfect woman just for him.
Then, out of the blue, she dumped him for someone else.
Marvin was devastated.
Since we got together, he talked about her – a lot.
And has so much negative feelings towards her.
I’m not sure he even realizes it yet, but I think he’s still in love with the idea of getting back with her.
He frequently mentions how perfect she was and points out qualities she has that I lack.
I’m not a jealous girl, but the idea that his ex-girlfriend still has a more significant piece of his heart really gets to me.
At some point, I even cyber stalked Julia’s pictures because I wanted to see all the fuss.
I’m deeply in love with this guy. I feel so safe and cared for with him.
I think my boyfriend still likes his ex because he always talks about her a lot.
But right now, I’m scared. Will he get back with his ex?
Chances are, this is what you’re going through at the moment.
And you have all these questions going through your head.
In this article, I’ll show you how to know if your boyfriend still has feelings for his ex even if he doesn’t want to admit it.
If you are ready, let’s dive in
How To Know If Your Boyfriend Still Has Feelings For His Ex: 7 Signs He’s Not Over His Ex.
1. He’s Hurt
I think my boyfriend still has feelings for his ex, you say.
Well, here’s one way to know for sure.
Does your boyfriend have negative feelings towards his ex?
Maybe he constantly vents to you and blames her for how things turned out between them.
And how the breakup was never his idea, to begin with.
The breakup may have been one-sided, and he might have even begged for months for her to return.
Like Marvin, perhaps your boyfriend can’t wrap his head around the fact that his ex-girlfriend cheated on him or dumped him for someone else.
He blames her for moving on too quickly and how broken he’s become
And even says he hates her for giving up on what they shared for years without giving it a second thought.
Whatever your case is:
If your boyfriend is still angry, he isn’t over her.
When a guy talks about his ex to you – especially about his negative emotions and feelings regarding their breakup,
They are signs he’s not over his ex.
While he may pretend he doesn’t have feelings for her, it clearly shows he isn’t over what happened in the relationship.
And guess what?
There’s a thin line between love and hate.
2. He Reminisces About The Good Old Days.
While speaking negatively about an ex is a clear sign someone is not over their ex, reminiscing about the good old days isn’t a good sign either.
Perhaps, your boyfriend keeps talking about how his ex was the perfect woman for him… That no other woman can ever come close.
He often says he misses how she used to care for him.
How they spend time together laughing, talking, playing and all.
If your boyfriend talks about his ex all the time, especially about her good qualities, it’s obvious he still has feelings for her.
In fact, watch out. It could even be signs he wants to get back with his ex.
3. He Compares You With Her.
Probably your boyfriend still fantasizes about getting back together with his ex.
Not only that, he may mention how perfect she was once in a while or even point out qualities you lack that she possesses.
Julia’s boyfriend was fond of comparing her with his ex.
He would tell her about his ex’s favorite hair, shoes, music and how different they’re in styles.
And it kind of made her really jealous. Like, she won’t be able to measure up to her.
Julia couldn’t get over the idea that her boyfriend’s ex still lives rent-free in his head,
Even though she tries to be the best she can be for him.
There’s nothing wrong with bringing up the past in a relationship once in a while.
It’s perfectly normal. However, if he constantly brings her up in every interaction with you, it’s a tell-tale sign he isn’t over his ex.
Obviously, she’s on his mind all the time.
He compares you with her.
Honestly, even if your boyfriend compliments you in the comparison, it usually isn’t a positive thing.
It’s normal to occasionally reflect on and contrast or compare aspects of the people we’ve dated.
Still, if he brings up those differences often, it suggests that he’s thinking about her often.
3. He Still Communicates With His Ex.
My boyfriend talks to his ex behind my back, Caroline said.
Her boyfriend broke up with his ex just two months before they met.
Though she had a weird feeling that he wasn’t over her, it didn’t seem like it would be a problem for their relationship.
She fell in love with him. She felt safe and cared for by the guy.
But not too long after, he said he was feeling depressed.
He later confessed to her that he had been talking to his ex, and it recently hit him that he wasn’t over her yet.
And that it made him realize that something was missing in their relationship.
Chances are your boyfriend communicates with his ex, or she still contacts him. Or he texts or chats her up often.
If that’s the case, there’s a high possibility he still has feelings for her.
4. He’s Still Close To Her Family.
Does your boyfriend still visit his ex-girlfriend’s family or hang out with them?
Maybe he continues to socially interact with her family,
Like seeing a soccer game with her brother or dad, helping her mom fix something,
Or even attending dinner parties with them…
Or any other thing that shows he’s still close with them.
It’s a clear sign he isn’t over his ex.
Your boyfriend may have developed strong bonds with his ex’s family, but eventually, he has to let them go.
Besides, what other motivation would he have to maintain such connections besides the desire to win her back?
5. He Holds On To Sentimental Items From His Past Relationship.
Just recently, one of my female friends, Susan, told me that her boyfriend has a lot of gifts from his ex-girlfriend that still littered the house he uses.
And her stuff, too.
When they were still together, she bought him many designer clothes, luxury items he still uses often.
And the worst part, she found pictures of them together and cards she wrote to him inside a box he hid under his desk.
My boyfriend still has pictures of his ex on his phone.
Does that mean he still has feelings for his ex? She asked.
Well, it’s perfectly acceptable to keep hold of items from previous relationships,
Such as photos and other mementos, as they represent a part of your past.
However, it may indicate that someone is missing their ex if they leave emotional belongings from a previous relationship on display.
Yea, it may be disrespectful to the new relationship if they are in plain view where you and everyone else can see them,
But it could indicate how they feel about their previous relationship.
Okay, some people might still be clinging to an ex’s incredibly cozy t-shirt or a lovely piece of jewelry,
But a guy shouldn’t be keeping many of his ex-belongings.
He is clinging to the romance through those items if there are still any of her photos or other personal items.
Anyways, inform him that you find his ex’s clothes bothersome and request that he donate them or return them to her.
If he continues to fight you, you can tell he hasn’t moved on.
6. He Cries And Tells You About His Feelings For Her.
Your boyfriend may be drunk and so starts pouring his heart and confessing his feelings for his ex.
You might assume that he is drunk and that his comments are meaningless.
Even better, reassure him that you are there for him and offer to comfort him.
But take note of what he says.
These alarming signs he’s not over his ex are heart-rending for you to experience.
And if you’re wondering, “How do I get him over his ex?”
Actually, he is more responsible for it than you are.
You can offer him an opportunity to express his feelings, listen to, or support him.
But there are limits to how much you can take before deciding to find someone who would prioritize you.
Frequently Asked Questions
What Should I Do If My Boyfriend Still Has Feelings For His Ex?
If the guy is trying to get back together with his ex while you are seeing him, it is unfair to you!
And it’s even more difficult if he is your boyfriend and you’ve fallen deeply in love with him.
He may be prepared to deal with his commitment issues and move on if he is open with you and admits that he struggles with them,
But whether you want to wait for him to figure that out is entirely up to you.
Attending couples therapy sessions and seeing how it goes can be helpful if you believe he needs more assistance, and you both want to remain together.
He’s Not Over His Ex. Should I Be Patient?
How bad is it?
If your boyfriend is ready to let go and move on, fine.
But if he isn’t, I suggest you move on.
I know that isn’t what you want to hear. But it’s up to you.
How Do I Know If My Boyfriend Still Loves His Ex?
It’s not insecurities; I can relate to how you feel.
When I initially met my ex-girlfriend, she spoke of her ex-boyfriend in a way that made me think she still had feelings for him but was afraid to say it because she had left him.
She kept bringing up stuff about him or in reference to him throughout our dating time.
I just became angry because I ignored the warning signs.
I can’t possibly describe how unbearable that is.
If you believe your boyfriend still has feelings for his ex, consider the factors that led you to that conclusion.
Everyone deserves to be loved completely and without any residual affection.
Look out for the signs I listed in this article, for starters.
How Do You Know If He Is Cheating With His Ex?
There are signs of a cheating boyfriend you need to know.
1. However, here are signs he is cheating with his ex:
2. They suddenly start spending time together.
3. You begin to see changes in your relationship
4. He has been acting cold or aloof toward you.
5. He constantly compares you with her
6. He talks about her a lot.