How to handle rejection from a guy
Honestly, being rejected by a guy sucks – especially a guy you love.
Case in point:
Ruth and Stanley have been together for about three months.
They were close. They had a couple of dates and slept together.
He looks pretty excited about her in the beginning.
Kissing, holding hands, planning dates, and showering her with attention.
They had great chemistry and conversations, and everything seemed perfect, heading towards a happy ending.
But then, all of a sudden, she noticed he started to pull away.
And when she called him out, he texted her, apologizing profusely, saying,
“He thinks she should start seeing other guys that he’s decided to be with someone else.”
Her heart sank. And she felt rejected.
And her brain kept telling her it was because she was ugly and not good enough.
It was heartbreaking when she found out they eventually got married months later.
Now, she’s afraid of letting another guy get close for fear of getting hurt again.
If someone you love rejects you, you aren’t alone.
The truth is that romantic rejection can be difficult to deal with.
It can hurt your ego, make you feel stupid, and shatter your self-esteem.
Dealing with rejection in dating isn’t easy.
It can be painful and difficult to move on – especially the feeling you get when you realize you aren’t the one he chooses.
The grieving process can be petrifying.
In this article, I want to show you how to handle rejection from a guy.
7 Healthy Ways On How To Handle Rejection From A Guy
1. Not Every Guy You Like Will Like You Back
And that’s okay.
It’s tough to accept. Isn’t it?
I’ve thought a lot about this. And it’s fascinating because there’s almost a thin line between narcissism and insecurity.
Insecurity can be where you say, “Nobody is ever going to love me.”
Narcissism, on the other hand, could be, “Everyone must love me.
I know that those two sound so opposite, but think about it for a moment:
Sometimes, we get upset because someone said they didn’t want us, and then we say,
“I’m now afraid to go back there again in case the next person doesn’t want me.”
We can come dangerously close to putting out the message, “everyone is supposed to want us.”
Like, if we want somebody and then that person doesn’t want us back,
That’s going to turn us off because everyone should have liked me.
Well, the truth is, many people aren’t going to want you.
And you have to make peace with that right now. Let it sink into every fiber of your being.
Okay, let me ask you: haven’t you rejected a guy in the past?
Most likely, your answer is a YES.
Why didn’t you accept him?
You probably know where I’m going with this already.
Not every guy you like will like you back. Period.
You also have to realize that not every guy will want the same thing as you.
They simply aren’t looking for what you’re looking for in the long run, even though they show interest in you initially.
Not every guy that you like will reciprocate that feeling. And it doesn’t mean they’re bad.
They are just not into you and that’s okay.
2. How Do You Want To Live Your Life?
Perhaps, you are saying, “I can’t handle rejection. It’s embarrassing.”
Okay, maybe right now, you’re scared of putting yourself out there again for fear of getting hurt.
I know it can be scary. I’ve had my share of nasty rejections. So, I understand how you feel.
But, let me ask you:
How do you want to live your life?
I guess you want to love again but are just scared of getting rejected.
So, let me ask you:
What are you more afraid of: getting rejected again or living your life in a cave?
I guess your answer is “living in a cave.”
Now, isn’t that worse if you picture the rest of your life being afraid,
And being the person who can’t talk to guys…Or can’t put yourself out there…or someone who doesn’t love…
For fear of getting rejected?
Is that what you want for the rest of your life?
It sounds pretty drab and dry. Isn’t it?
If you’re honest, you’d know it’s worse than boring.
Which is scarier?
The possible rejection from another guy or living your whole life as somebody you don’t like?
Of course, you’d hate yourself even more for being someone you don’t like.
You don’t want to regret all the possible things that could have been when you are old.
3. Ultimately, The Person That You Hurt Is Yourself.
Life is so short. And the biggest waste of life is wasted on negative ideas that stop you from doing things.
So, right now, I know that in your mind, you may be thinking:
“Well, I can carry this belief around with me for a while; hide away, not approach guys,
Not go for the next relationship because I’m scared of rejection.”
Fair enough. You’re human, after all.
Or, you could say, “Five, fifteen years from now, I’d been feeling unbearable regret because I gave up years of my life because of fear of rejection.”
You know, each time I go out and not talk to someone,
Not put myself out of my comfort zone because I’m scared that someone might reject me or feel embarrassed; I always remind myself…
“It’s like I went out with this amazing superpower and didn’t use it.”
I don’t mean that I’m so great. I just mean that I’m alive and well.
I have a lot to offer somebody.
And every time I go out and hold back because of fear of rejection,
It’s like I have this superpower that I kept locked away and not using.
And that makes me sad because I won’t always have that superpower.
I don’t want to look back and regret how many times I wasted with this unbelievable weapon that I didn’t use.
That’s what scares me more.
And I don’t want that to happen for you, and I don’t think it even needs to happen for you.
4. You Have A Decision To Make
You could hold on to the idea that rejection is the worst thing that could happen to you for a long time.
I’ve seen women in the forties, fifties, and even sixties who realized they’d wasted so much time on those beliefs.
You’re lucky because you can end it right now – as you’re reading this article today.
But you can decide rejection is the scariest thing to you and you’ll always avoid guys.
However, if you decide that regret is the scariest thing to you,
Then you’ll go out there and talk to everybody, and you’ll have a fantastic time doing it…
Because you know that no rejection could be as painful as the regret you’ll feel later on in life.
See, I’m just as afraid of rejection as you are.
You probably think I’m not. You may think I go out and don’t have these kinds of thoughts. But I do.
But I fear regret more.
I realized early that rejection is momentarily, but regret is for a lifetime.
So, here’s my advice for you:
Go out, have fun and take small risks every day (that’s all it is).
5. Give Yourself Some Time To Deal With Your Hurt Feelings
I know that the ideas I’ve shared with you so far sound like I’m asking you to go back out there without actually acknowledging your hurtful feelings.
But that isn’t the case at all.
Your dreams of being with the guy you like may have been crushed.
Perhaps, you’ve discovered that your crush started to date someone else, ghosted you, or no longer returning your calls.
One of the psychological effects of rejection is that it feels like a fracturing of our confidence.
It crushes our ego and makes you question who you truly are.
It makes us feel we aren’t good enough.
You can’t deny you’ve felt hurt by the rejection that’s why you have to give yourself time to heal.
6. Make A List Of Your Best Qualities To Soothe Your Crushed Ego
Whether you were rejected by a crush or some guy for a relationship,
The most crucial thing you need to recover from the emotional wound rejection generates,
Is to rebuild your self-esteem by emphasizing what you bring to the table.
After receiving an ego blow, you may find it easier to recover faster if you list the positive traits you know you possess.
7. Acknowledge Your Role But Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself
Self-examination is quite different from self-loathing and criticism.
The latter makes things worse than they actually are.
For instance, saying to yourself, “The next time I’m on a first date,
I definitely shouldn’t spend thirty minutes talking about how much I hate my ex,” is much better than saying…
“I’m such a loser. I ruined everything, and now, I’ll never be able to find love again. Nobody will ever love me.”
Such self-deprecating remarks about yourselves can sabotage your self-esteem and become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Besides, it’ll hinder your ability to learn from the experience, making you feel hopeless.
Hopefully, these few points will help you get over your rejection.
However, if you want to learn more about handling rejection from a guy you like, I have something that might help.
As I mentioned, I’ve had horrible rejections in the past that I didn’t quite think I could get over. But thank God I did.
Here’s my story of how I got rejected by a crush and how I got over my rejections.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why Do I Keep Getting Rejected By Guys?
Here are a few reasons a man rejects a woman:
1. You are not allowing the law of averages to do its magic
Let me explain:
It simply means you are not at all putting yourself out there enough.
In fact, you might be avoiding dating altogether if you’ve experienced a lot of male rejection and have grown fearful of it.
According to the rule of averages, you will get closer to receiving a “yes” the more “no” responses you receive.
This is the magic of probability. Dating is a number’s game.
In other words, you’re more likely to discover someone with whom things work out the more dates you go on that doesn’t end well.
2. You’re attached to rejection
If you’re used to being ignored and rejected, you might subconsciously want rejection because that’s what you’re used to.
You’ll even reject yourself because that’s what you’re used to.
3. You generally have a negative attitude towards dating
Having a positive outlook on dating can be challenging if you’ve had far too many negative dating experiences to count.
Maybe you’ve been rejected, cheated on, ditched for someone “better,”
And you interpreted the experience as you weren’t good enough.
You have this weird attitude about men in general.
The truth is, you can’t attract something you hate.
You can’t say you desire a relationship with a man and at the same time secretly hate men in your heart.
If you hate men, you’ll soon give off the vibe that you do. And no man (in his right senses) wants to date a woman who hates men.
4. You lack confidence in yourself
It’s probably not what you expected, but I’m about to paraphrase Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers film.
You’re familiar with the line, “I eat because I’m unhappy… and I’m unhappy because I eat. That’s an endless cycle.
Rejection is no different.
Because you were rejected, you have insecurities and low self-esteem, and your low self-esteem is making you the target of rejection.
That cycle must be broken.
5. You keep attracting bad guys
It means you keep attracting and pursuing bad guys, assholes who treat you poorly and aren’t good for you.
Why am I attracted to bad boys? You ask.
Well, there’re several reasons and one of them is low self-esteem.
Failures and rejections are just battle scars that are a right passage in life, and should be treasured, not feared.