The Tough Things To Consider That determines The Success Or Failure of Most Relationships That You Often Ignore
Do you know what it takes to build a love that lasts?
What do you look out for when you meet someone you consider spending the rest of your life with?
How do you judge the longevity of a dating relationship?
I’m glad you asked.
It’s the reason why most dating relationships fail, and few succeed.
I know you’re shocked. You thought it was love.
Love alone doesn’t guarantee a long-lasting relationship and if you want yours to work take dating compatibility test seriously.
Many couples who end their relationship more often than not love each other. But the problem is, they find it hard to get along with each other.
Compatibility is also what most people hardly consider before saying, “I do.” Even when they consider it, they look for whom to complement them in every way, and not who challenges them.
Many people believe that there’s only one particular person for them, which they call their soulmate; this kind of thinking is toxic and could make you endure harsh treatment from a partner you shouldn’t be with.
Why Dating Compatibility Test Is Important
Many people tend to be sad and unhappy when they are in a relationship with someone they are not compatible with.
A lot of couples and intending couples are so desperate to know how compatible they are with their partner these days to the extent that they conduct zodiac compatibility quiz or use zodiac signs to check for compatibility.
You see, anybody can fall in love, but it takes a whole lot more to stay in love.
The first part is easy. It doesn’t take much to do. It’s what a fifteen-year-old can do. But the second is difficult because it takes compatibility.
Don’t get me wrong.
There can be compatibility with (or without) love. But there can also be love with (or without) compatibility.
It’s okay if you’re compatible with someone you aren’t in love with. This is perfect for friendship. But, it’s better to be compatible with someone you’re in love with. Chemistry and compatibility are necessary for building a lasting love.
That is why love test or dating compatibility test, relationship test, or marriage compatibility test is very important.
It’s better to find out if the two of you can get along with each other than to blindly continue a relationship that has a dead end.
When you fall in love, it feels so good. Most people get carried away by the feeling. And the other person’s personality that they fail to check for what matters in the long run or ask dating compatibility test questions.
What do you think matters?
Is it how your partner makes you feel?
How funny they are?
How good they are when it comes to sex? Etc.
By all means, the above qualities are great. But it takes much more to build a lasting relationship.
You may have been guilty of these before now.
The reason I write this article is not to shame you or make you feel bad about your past mistakes. We all act base on what we know. If you knew better, you would have acted better.
The major reason I put this together is for you to know what to look out for so you can build a love that lasts.
The change of perspective this article brings can save you from later heartbreaks and also stops you from trying to force a relationship that has a dead end.
You see, the internal structure (core values) is what determines the strength of the relationship. If these internal structures aren’t in place, the relationship won’t work.
I know you’re eager to know what these internal structures are. But before I tell you, let me help you understand something very crucial about humans.
Many people think of compatibility as something with a defined formula based on similarity in hobbies and personality traits. The danger of this mindset is this; it leaves you thinking when things aren’t working; there’s nothing you can do. You can get stuck in the cycle of thinking, “it isn’t going to work because both of you are so different.”
Here’s what you should know, “humans aren’t fixed.”
Dr. Gary Lewandowski discovered that an important part of love is the feeling of self-expansion. As individuals, we’re growing and changing. We learn, unlearn and relearn. Everyday circumstances and changes force us to re-invent ourselves.
The pressure of life comes to test how compatible we’re in our dating relationships. Even when life requires us to change and grow, some things should remain consistent. They determine how well we get along.
Compatibility is visible when couples treat each other based on love and respect. Couples need to have fun with each other and make the most of the time they spend together.
But, a couple doesn’t have to have every interest in common. Don’t be in a hot chase for your “missing piece,” as many people call it.
When you are on a mission to find someone who would make you complete, you might lower your standard and accept anyone that comes your way rather than go for a partner that would challenge you to be a better person.
There’s nobody that is entirely compatible with you. Look for someone who likes to try out new things and also wants to be a better person. When you believe that only one person can make you happy, you are setting yourself for trouble.
Being in a compatible relationship means that you work well together as a team, you enjoy each other’s company and have a good time. You’re very in-sync but tend to act more like friends.
Spending much time together enriches compatibility, which helps to bring team spirit in the relationship. Below are some internal structures that determine the longevity of any dating relationship and can be used for dating compatibility test.
1. Purpose and vision
Can two walk together except they agree?
There’s no basis for coming together in a dating relationship without agreement.
First, the lady must seek to understand the man’s vision for the future and then agree and submit to it.
The dating period is the time to understand each other’s plans and know how they fit. A marriage relationship where there are two separate visions most times end in divorce. The two of you can’t walk in opposite directions and end up in the same destination. Clarify your purpose and vision and ask yourself, do we have a common vision for the future?
One of the internal pillars for building a healthy relationship is love.
Love isn’t enough to build a lasting relationship, yet it’s necessary. Love isn’t a feeling or emotion. It’s a choice. It’s an act of the will.
Do you feel cared for in your relationship?
Love is a commitment to meeting the needs of your partner without expectations. How well do you feel connected?
Do you feel safe and heard? Do you feel nourished and understood in your relationship?
3. Religious Beliefs
Most people often shy away from this, yet it impacts the longevity of any relationship. When it involves religion, are there any issue that should be discussed? Do both of you have very similar beliefs and have worked to understand any differences?
4. Money Mindset
You’re wondering if this should be a factor to consider in a dating relationship.
My answer is YES… Financial inconsistency between partners has destroyed more marriage relationship than you think. Three quarter (3/4) of the world population don’t understand money and how it works. You may be one of them. You may want to take out some time to study your partner’s money mentality to find out if it’s compatible with yours
5. Growth and personal development
Life always puts pressure on us to evolve and grow. Nothing remains the same for too long. Does your partner encourage and support you in learning new things? How much does being together with your partner end in your having new experiences? When you are together with your partner, does one feel a greater awareness of things due to him or her?
6. Honor and respect
You can’t get along with someone who you devalue. Everyone craves for honor and respect. It’s the longing of the human spirit.
Honor requires that you focus on the diamond in your partner rather than the dirt. Will your partner have weaknesses and flaws?
Oh yes! But your focus should be on each other’s strengths and not the other way round. Does he (she) honor and respect you or put you down?
Let me tell you something you haven’t heard anywhere. “People aren’t looking for partners. They are looking for friends.”
You should be a friend first before being a partner to the person you’re in a relationship with. Friendship lasts longer than a partnership. Being a friend allows the other person to be vulnerable and open. In that way, you can be comfortable and be yourself around the other person.