You have got this weird feeling that something’s off.
Perhaps, you’ve had constant arguments with your boyfriend lately. And he’s starting to behave strangely.
He’s showing signs he wants to end the relationship.
Not that he’s said anything yet. But you keep thinking to yourself:
Is my boyfriend going to break up with me? or am I paranoid?
Or, maybe your relationship is in a great place. But you want to know subtle signs he wants to break up.
Let’s face it:
One of the worst feelings in the world is getting dumped, but it’s much worse when you don’t see it coming. When he breaks up with you suddenly…
It’s called a “blindsided breakup.”
Recently, one of my clients was completely blindsided by the man she swore she was going to get married to.
To this day, there was no obvious sign he would break things off.
And she keeps wondering where she has missed it.
He woke up one morning and told her he’s fallen out of love with her and drove off.
That was it.
Initially, she thought he was trying to pull her legs until he drove off and never returned.
What are the subtle signs he wants to break up you need to pay attention to before it even happens?
Because the only way to figure it out before he says anything or it happens is to pay attention to signs he wants to break up but doesn’t know how.
Besides, not every guy is good at communicating their emotions.
Perhaps, he doesn’t want to break your heart.
And then allow the awful feelings to accumulate and linger for too long.
Ready? Let’s go…
15 Subtle Signs He Wants To Break Up With You
1. He’s Been Picking Unnecessary Fights With You
When your relationship feels like it’s going uphill endlessly, it’s time to take your telescopes and see whether a storm is looming.
Because when he thinks nothing you do is ever good enough for him,
It’s often because he’s nitpicking at everything you do and constantly picking fights to sink your relationship.
One of two things could be the case: either the man is toxic and despises you,
Or he is attempting to make life unbearable for you to leave him.
In either case, it’s best to throw him under the bus.
When you care for someone, you tend to view them favorably and perceive their actions through a positive lens.
When you fall out of love with someone, you get frustrated with them and wish there was a way to end things amicably so that neither you nor they would suffer much.
Lauren Schumacker talks about this:
“If your partner can’t compliment you or even say nice things to you, that’s probably a sign that the relationship won’t continue very long.”
2. He Avoids You
Breakup is tough.
And as such, some guys find it difficult to tell their partner they want to end the relationship. Perhaps for fear of hurting them or something
So, instead of being honest and straightforward about their feelings, they choose the silent or avoidance treatment.
They either pull away or disappear altogether. And you’re left wondering what happened.
When a guy wants to break up with you, he starts pulling away, spending more time with friends and even working late than he used to.
When this happens regularly, please take it as a sign he wants to break up with you but doesn’t know how.
3. He’s Seeing Someone Else
Regardless of whether your boyfriend has cheated, if you start noticing signs he may be cheating, you may have an issue and are probably right.
Because one of the typical ways men end a relationship is by getting another girl.
You might find strange messages on his phone or in his apps, observe odd behavior, or even catch him flirting behind your back.
By doing this, he is preparing to break up your relationship.
It would help if you understood that many men wouldn’t end a relationship until they’ve planned their next.
He’s likely attempting to set up a “lifeboat relationship” with someone else.
4. He Becomes Cold
One of the most telling signals that he wants to end the relationship but doesn’t know how is when he starts to feel cold around you.
Common symptoms include little to no hugs, kisses, and even not making eye contact.
This is possibly the most typical sign of a breakup.
You feel as though you are nothing more than his roommate,
Or someone he was once romantically involved with because his feelings and all physical intimacy are shut down towards you.
There are a lot of individuals that feel stuck in this kind of relationship and even marriage.
Although it’s not everything, intimacy is undoubtedly something.
And when it’s gone, it’s a clue that there are far more severe problems in a relationship.
5. He Appears Unmotivated To Make Things Right
For a relationship to succeed, both parties must be eager to put in the effort.
However, it is undeniable that occasionally you have to put in more effort to make the relationship work.
If your man is refusing to put in any effort and all the effort is coming from you that’s a red flag.
Stop struggling if you think you’re all alone because attempting to mend the relationship alone is pointless.
He either steps up his game or steps out. Never settle with mediocre efforts.
6. He Lies About His Personal Life
How do you know if a guy is about to break up with you?
Well, one of the subtle signs he wants to break up is that he starts to close off and lie about his personal life.
He may have decided to move, further his education, perhaps in another city,
Or make other significant life changes without letting you know, let alone even consider your relationship.
However, when he stays upfront and honest about his goals, daily life, and everything, it’s a sign he doesn’t want to break up with you.
But when he wants to end the relationship, there’s a tendency for him to become sneaky. He keeps you in the dark.
His white lies may appear insignificant initially, but they soon build up like a snowball.
He no longer desires to discuss any aspect of his life, whether private or work-related.
He may overstate, distort, and lie about any aspect of his life, sometimes even for no apparent reason whatsoever.
It almost seems like he’s trying so hard to annoy or frustrate you on purpose.
7. He Doesn’t Create Time For You Anymore
As I previously stated, a man who wants to end a relationship but is soft-pedaling frequently flakes on you and is otherwise busy.
Many guys who aren’t busy also make up various reasonable justifications for disappearing for extended periods.
They come up with excuses like they’re going hunting with a friend, and the next day, they’re going to help their sister buy some real estate.
Basically, from one excuse to another.
Something always needs to be done that consumes his time, is usually challenging, and doesn’t involve you.
This isn’t a sign that he’s cheating or lying to you, but it does indicate that he’s not prioritizing spending time with you.
If your man considers breaking up, he stops spending time with you less and less.
Instead, he spends much more time than he did in the past, going out with his buddies or working late.
Just know that something is wrong if he avoids spending time with you alone.
8. His Love For You Has Diminished
He doesn’t show that he cares or even says nice things to you like he used to.
You only need to recall the last compliment he gave you to realize how evident this is.
No romantic time together like before. And trying to get him to be sweet and affectionate becomes almost impossible.
Men always show affection to the women they are attracted to and the ladies they enjoy being with.
He’s not excited being with you if you have to remind (or blatantly force) him into showing you affection or worse if you have to beg him to.
A man who wants to break up with you but doesn’t know how will stop taking you out on dates, saying nice things to you,
And become emotionally and physically distant.
Talking, laughing, gisting, and taking an interest in your life slows down or even stops altogether.
The phone calls and texts end, and he stops being interested in anything you have to say.
No more romantic dinners for two or walks around the park as usual
If he no longer tries to be affectionate and loving, it’s one of the signs he wants to break up with you and that the relationship is dead.
9. No More Meaningful (Deep) Conversation
What is a relationship without communication, really?
And I’m not referring to those awkward conversations like, “how was your day?” “Have you had dinner?” “Hi” kind of chat.
I’m saying you don’t talk about other stuff anymore.
Those deep and meaningful conversations are gone, the ones where you spend hours talking while ignoring your phone and the television.
Your relationship is in big trouble when those are missing.
10. He Stops Talking About The Future With You
He no longer sees you as part of his future if he stops talking about it or starts using the “I” word instead of “we” when discussing plans.
You’ve got to pay attention.
You both used to sit down and talk about the future and make life plans.
There was no shortage of plans, from getting married and having children to living together and traveling the world.
But for whatever reason, these discussions abruptly come to an end.
Granted, talking about the future can be scary, but if your boyfriend avoids the subject, it might be time to find out why.
You know he’s probably thinking of ending the relationship when this occurs.
11. He Keeps His Phone From You
Is your boyfriend hiding his phone from you?
Well, even though that could mean he’s cheating on you, it isn’t always the case. It could be that he wants to break up.
Let me explain…
First off, secrecy is not the same as privacy.
Perhaps your boyfriend used to let you use his phone to play music in the car, but now he won’t even let you touch it.
Or he’s even changed the password and never gave you a heads up about it.
Now, he guides his phone jealously.
As I mentioned, he may be cheating on you, either emotionally or physically.
Although relationships can recover from cheating (if you’re both ready to do what it takes),
If he’s starting a new relationship behind your back, he might not want to.
12. You Sense That Something Is Wrong.
There’s a reason the adage “listen to your gut” is so well-known.
Verbal communication is one of the many ways we exchange information.
Sometimes your body senses something that your intellect hasn’t yet understood.
Our senses are particularly acute when we’re around someone we know well.
I’m sure you must have heard someone say, “I sensed something wasn’t right, but I didn’t want to listen.
The truth is, inside us, a useful, intuitive tool is ready to lead the way. However, we learn the lesson hard if we disregard it.
If you’re sensing something’s off, you’ve got to trust yourself enough and honour the feeling.
13. He Stops Replying To Your Text
He used to call or text you nonstop. And it doesn’t take him time to respond to any of your messages. But now, it takes him almost forever to reply or call back.
And he often ignores and pretends as if he didn’t see them.
Well, this behavior should be apparent enough that something is wrong. And it can be frustrating when your partner doesn’t respond to your texts or calls.
If your boyfriend often uses his phone to text or post on social media but keeps ignoring your texts and calls, that’s a sign he wants to break up, and the relationship is over.
14. He Makes Jokes About Breaking Up With You.
As embarrassing as it may be, humor often contains a lot of truth. When you joke about something like this, it’s likely because you’ve thought about doing it a lot.
He may not be as happy with you as you believe if he spends so much time thinking about breakup. It’s a subtle sign he wants to break up with you.
15. He Doesn’t Ask About Your Life
If a guy cares about you, he’d want to know about your personal life and pay attention to everything that concerns you.
He may gradually drift away from you if he stops asking about your day or week and doesn’t check in with you after a stressful doctor’s appointment or a major project at work.
Or if he doesn’t ask about your family while they are experiencing a difficult time.
If this continues over time, it’s a sign he wants to break up.